Half Moon
by Wolfpire94
Summary: The death of two enemies brings peace to Renesmee Cullen's life. However, when an ally of Lauren and Leonardo De Luca pays an unexpected visit, suddenly her life comes spiralling back down again as she's pursued for something dark and much more valuable than her gift...
1. Prologue

**Okay, hey everyone! :) So, this is the final story in the Renesmee Saga!**

**Just so you know there after two stories before this which I strongly recommend you read before reading this..**

**Here are the links for you :)**

**Full Moon (First) - s/7189044/1/Full-moon**

**Last Quarter (Second) - s/7762027/1/The-Last-Quarter**

**Anyway, so, some of you may know that Half Moon was the original sequel to Full Moon, but when I posted it, a lot of people hated it. Now, I'm going to try again, with the same plot, but it will be re-written slightly, so it may make more sense and may not seem so bad.**

**One more thing, before we begin... I think this story deserves a dedication. So, I want to dedicate this story to my best friend, Tracy. Without her encouragement, I wouldn't have continued Half Moon and the story you are about to read would never have been told to the end. **

**I should warn you all that in the middle, it does get a little graphic (horror not sexual) and you may find some events that arise, disturbing.**

**Enjoy!**

**Preface**

REVENGE : AN ACT IN WHICH ONE SEEKS TO GET EVEN.

For one person, I have witnessed and endured revenge much more than the average person. Most of me agrees that that isn't entirely to do with my being half vampire. Revenge has brought me dreadful things. It has brought me to the lips of death on many accounts; it has also turned me paranoid and bitter. But most the time I manage to hide that side of me.

For the first time, I was dragged into a much darker and twisted form of revenge, one that wasn't aimed at me, but I was told it depended on me. Generally, people would need me for my gift, but not this time. Using me for my gift would have been a much kinder approach and a humane task.

But they wanted something much darker, something which killed off every ounce or morality they had.

The vampires weren't the problem, not this time.

Though I sit here and complain, I can't bring myself to fully regret everything they put me through, everything they desired, and everything they got. If it hadn't been for their sick and twisted plans, I never would have met her. She never would have come into my life, the most beautiful, most glorious creature known to human kind. She was also dragged into the darkest pits of hell with me, and she deserved it the least, she was so young, so fragile, so innocent. And they were planning on ruining her. They were going to take her wings and rip them off with their bare hands. My angel, gone.

And for that, I would seek to get even.

**I just realised how the introduction was probably longer than the actual chapter haha!**

**Anyway, so thanks for reading, and hope this encourages you to stay on for more :)**

**I will try to update when I can :) x**


	2. Annabel

**Hey guys! Sorry for the delay, I've been very very busy and on top of that I've been having writer's block -_-**

**Anyway, here's the first chapter for Half Moon!**

**Enjoy! :)**

**Annabel**

NOTHING COULD EXPLAIN WHAT MADE ME THINK OF IT, IT WAS JUST, A RANDOM thought, a random memory that paid my mind I visit I guess. For some reason, one humid June afternoon, I found myself thinking about when Jacob was away. Those long and empty fifteen years that I sat in this exact spot in my bedroom opposite my large window awaiting his return. If he were to return, that is. Of course none of that mattered now. Jacob had been back for nearly two years and they had been the best two years of my life, despite the amounts of times I nearly died and the countless occasions I had put everything on the line to prove a point. And at that thought I shook my head in disbelief and laughed before standing up and looking over my bare shoulder at Jacob laying asleep in my bed.

It was weird that I was awake before him, but at the same time I kind of liked it. Well, I liked it at first, now I was just mind numbingly bored. I quickly got dressed into jeans and a sweater before going downstairs. For a moment I pondered with the idea of waking him, but, he'd had a busy night, so I decided to let him sleep in. Downstairs, my parents, Edward and Bella were sitting in the living room. Before I'd even turned for the first step I was greeted with;

"Good morning, Renesmee." by Bella. Within a second I was downstairs with them and on the couch in a heartbeat.

"Sleep well?" she asked as I nestled my feet on the couch. The usual suspicious grin appeared on both their faces and I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I just wished my parents, or _anyone_ in this family wouldn't ask questions they so obviously already knew the answer to.

I nodded after a while and stood up to go and get a blood bag from the kitchen. "Slept like a baby." I called to them as I left the room.

Grabbing a bag of blood in the morning and then looking at the view from the kitchen window had become somewhat of a routine for me. Maybe I naturally used it as a time for self-reflection and a bunch of philosophical crap when normal people would do this during that space of time between getting into bed and falling asleep. I sometimes did that, most of the time I was preoccupied by other... activates, so I couldn't lie down and find God or think about the meaning life – again, the philosophical crap. Though, if I were to lie there in the late hours of the night and go on an imaginary quest to find some greater existence or a god-like figure, I would most probably get shunned down for being what I am.

I was interrupted from my self-reflection session by the front door closing and the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Finally, the Cullen house was awake, not that it was really ever asleep.

I returned to the living room with my nearly empty blood bag to find Jacob standing on the last step, my parents still on the couch and my two best friends, Claire and Abi. I found it suspicious that they all appeared at the same time, it wasn't as if they were best friends or anything, well, Abi and Eli were. Abi and Eli were like me and Claire. They'd known each other since such a young age and had grown up together and as a result of that they were like un-biological siblings. I guess, growing up I also looked at Jacob as being like my un-biological big brother and in a way I still do. Of course, when I was younger he never acted like a boyfriend to me; he acted like a leader or a brother. I still look at him like that at times. Especially when he's over-overprotective.

"What are you three doing here?" I asked, going over to join Jacob's side.

Abi waved a piece of card around in the air with writing on it. "I got a postcard." She smiled.

"From who?"

"People still send postcards?" asked Jacob.

"Yes they do," said Abi. "Especially when they don't have the best technology, places like India for example." At that moment I saw the overly bright scenes of India on the backside of the postcard.

"Tracy?" I asked, going over to Abi and taking the card.

"She's doing okay, in fact I don't think she's even killed anyone." Said Abi. I flipped over the card and began to read.

_Abi,_

_I want to apologize for your birthday party. I know it wasn't the greatest party ever and the months after weren't great either. I'm really sorry I didn't say goodbye to you, but, you know vampires yourself and so you must understand that I didn't want to risk hurting you. Plus, it would have made it harder to leave. My parents already made it difficult, don't worry, I didn't tell them why my eyes were so red or why my skin was so cold – they thought I was just under shock or something. Anyway, the sun is rising and the villagers are already starting work so I should probably run for shade. I just want you to know that I'm fine and I haven't started a massacre. Take care of yourself, alright? _

_I'll miss you little Abi._

_Much love,_

_Tracy_

"Wow." I said, handing her the postcard. "So, things are okay for her, well, that's good. Have you sent her a response?"

She shook her head and showed me the letter again, pointing to the very bottom that said in brackets:

'_PLEASE DO NOT REPLY'_

"She wants to be left alone." She said, her voice suddenly sullen.

"Abi, I'm sorry-"

"-Don't be. It's what she wants. And when you live as long as she does, you need to do what you want."

She was right. I often found myself thinking about that, how long does a hybrid vampire live for?

Will I live forever?

Or will I live a few thousand years?

Will I even live a few hundred?

Honestly, I think given the circumstances and considering how close I've come to barely living eighteen years, I'm grateful I'm still standing today.

"Speaking of people leaving." Claire stood up and put an arm around me. "Now, I know that last time I left, the world of Renesmee managed to disintegrate with days," I gave her an impressed glare. "But I have to go away for a while."

"What... Why?"

"My parents are moving to Utah and I need to go and help them move."

"You're not moving with them, are you?"

She laughed and shook her head. "Renesmee, I'm a married woman... I move where my husband goes, not my parents. I'm not moving anywhere and neither is Quil. I'm just going to help them move house, that's all, I'll be gone a few weeks at most-"

"A few weeks? I thought you were helping them move house, not move _a_ house."

She laughed. "I know your undying love for me is powerful, Renesmee and I will still feel your flame over the deserts and all the way in Utah." She put her arm around me. "You and me, we're meant to be."

I shrugged her off. "Okay, you're creeping me out now, go to Utah."

"Are you sure you'll be alright on your own?"

I grinned. "Of course," then I took a step back and wrapped one of my arms around Jacob and smiled. "I'll be fine."

Not long after they left, Jacob and I went back upstairs. I opened my bedroom door to the sound of rain, soon followed by thunder. Great. The stormy season was here, as usual. But in the months of June and July it tended to get humid which made it worse.

I wandered into my bathroom and started to brush my teeth.

"So-"Jacob joined me in the bathroom and jumped onto the counter next to the sink. "-What's the plan for today?"

I shrugged. "I -on' kno'-" I tried to talk past the brush and foaming paste. "Wha- o –ou- wanna do?"

"… What?" he laughed. "I'm sorry, I don't speak your language-"

I spat the foam into the sink and looked at him.

I sighed, "I said – what do you wanna do? I'm in the mood to do something physical-" I could see the grin widen on his face but ignored it, "- maybe we could go to La Push and… swim or something? – it's daring, it's fun, it's reckless – why not?"

"So let me get this straight-"he hopped off the counter and faced me. "-You want to go swimming in a thunderstorm and rain in the freezing cold sea?"

"It won't be so bad – you'll be with me. Unless you have any better ideas?"

He held up his palms, "No that's fine. If that's what you want to do-" he kissed my nose, "Then that's what we'll do."

We parked the Aston Martin at Jacob's house and walked the rest of the way to the beach, or at least, that's what I'd planned anyway. We walked part way to the beach, and then Jake took us on a different turn.

"I thought we were going swimming?" I asked as we walked through a group of trees. The rain had eased up a little, but my hair was still reasonably wet and I wasn't even in the water yet.

"We are." He said, "We're just taking a different way into the water."

We carried on and then he stopped us at the edge of a cliff. The two of us stood there in silence for a while whilst my mind tried to register what he was suggesting. I sharply looked at him.

"You're kidding me, right?" I yelled above the howl of the wind and the crashes of the waves below.

"You said you wanted to do something 'physically daring', right?"

"Yeah, but I thought the sub-zero temperature of the water would be daring enough!"

Jacob tilted his head nonchalantly at me before he began to strip down. I stood there, hugging my arms. When he was done, he turned to me again.

"You're not scared, are you?" he asked, "After all, aren't you the Renesmee who always loves climbing trees? The one who likes to pick fights with vampires that are much stronger than she is? And on the odd occasion, she wins. What happened to that Renesmee?"

I didn't comment, I just stared at him.

"It's easy. Trust me – you'll love it once you're down there!" before I could say anything he backed away from the cliff edge, ran at it and he soared off the edge.

"Jake!" I went to grab him but he was too far out of reach. I watched as he gracefully dived into the waves.

He was gone.

I clung onto the edge of the cliff and watched anxiously to see his return to the surface. But he didn't.

"Jacob!" I screamed as loud as I could over the wind. Could he hear me?

After a minute, he didn't come back. So, I stripped down and mirrored what he did. I stood back, ran, jumped and fell. The air was so cold as it hit me from such a height. The sea came closer. As the ocean spray began to touch my face, I changed into a dive and plummeted into the water.

'COLD!' – was my first thought. I needed to return to the surface because the collision with the water had knocked the breath out of me. As I broke the surface, I saw another wave come my way and I took another sharp breath before sinking under the water again.

Where was he?

My heart pounded as I swished around under the water, trying to see him under the waves during the only time I had remaining before I ran out of breath. I swam away from the foot of the cliff, hoping to beat the waves.

The next time I broke the surface, I had never been so desperate for oxygen before. I was coughing and spluttering out water from my lungs, whilst trying to look around through a hazy sight.

"I knew I could get into the water somehow!" I heard Jacob's voice behind me. I flinched and sharply turned. There was less noise here, but even the calmer waves were loud.

He was alive!

He was fine!

He was smiling?

He did that deliberately!

"You did that on purpose?" I screamed at him as he swam closer.

"I managed to get you into the water though, didn't I?" he smiled. I punched him in the arm with all the strength I could gather.

"I thought you had drowned Jacob! That's not funny! Don't ever do that to me again!" I could feel myself wanting to cry – whether it was because the water was still painfully cold, Jacob was alive or I had been so worried that he was dead, I didn't know.

"Okay, okay-"he held my shoulders and then pulled me into his wet but unbelievably warm chest. "I'm sorry, I promise I won't do that you again." He kissed my head.

"But it got your adrenaline pumping though!" he smiled. "I guessed that was what you wanted."

"I think we have different definitions of what 'adrenaline pumping' is. I think its excitement – but you seem t-to think it means scaring the crap out of someone."

"That's what cliff diving is. Probably the scariest thing you'll ever do – but an amazing rush. If you do it a second time, you'll probably appreciate the rush more than the scare."

"Well, that won't happen anytime soon."

He smiled and wrapped his arms tighter around me.

"Do you wanna get out of here?"

I nodded. "Y-yes please."

I was shaking the whole way back to Jacob's house. I didn't want to make my clothes wet, so I just wrapped my sweater round me and walked with my arms clung around Jacob.

"Next time, I'll decide what counts as 'physically daring' and 'freakin' insane'" I insisted.

"Deal." He grinned.

As the house became visible again, Jacob stopped abruptly.

"What is it?" I asked. He didn't answer; his eyes away in concentration. All the playfulness there was only moments ago was completely gone.

"Jacob?" I lifted my hand and tried to turn his face to me. "What is it?"

He finally blinked and then looked at me. He clenched his jaw.

"I can smell vampire."

I sniffed my shoulder. "It's probably me." I smiled. He shook his head.

"I know what your scent is… it isn't you." He paused, "It's stronger than you. I've never smelt it before."

I started to feel queasy. The last time an unfamiliar vampire was in town many live were at risk. Even one lost a life. And it wasn't only the humans who were in danger. Jacob and I nearly lost our lives, me on several occasions.

Before, the wolves had tried to deal with it. Jacob was currently a wolf down so they were at a disadvantage. Maybe Sam's pack would help out or act as a sub for Quil whilst he was away.

Jacob said that he didn't recognise the scent, which means that it couldn't be anyone who had become a family friend. But if it was someone we knew – why were they on the Reservation?

Naturally, I walked towards the scent – trying to find it myself.

"Ness wait-"Jacob pulled me back. "I don't trust it. Let me go first."

Seeing as he wasn't telling me to wait here or stay out of it, I obliged and let him walk in front of me and I followed close in tow.

Eventually, I picked up the scent just as we got to Jacob's house. We stopped.

"It's strongest here." I whispered. We looked at the house.

Billy.

Jacob left me and burst through the front door.

"Dad?" he called as he crossed over. I ran quickly behind him. What if this was a trap? – I didn't know who would have anything against Jacob if they'd never met him, but still.

"Jacob wait!" as I followed him into the house he made an abrupt stop, sending my face smack into his back.

His body was frozen in the doorway. Oh God, what's happened? – is Billy okay?

"Jake," I heard Billy's voice; "You have a visitor."

"Hello Jacob, long time, no see." I heard a male voice as footsteps drew closer.

"Ryan? What are you doing here-"Jacob took a step back, not realising I was behind him and he stood on my foot.

"Ow!" I hissed and moved to his side so that I could get a better view on what was happening.

"Sorry N-" before he continued a force so strong pinned me against the wall behind me. The hit had taken my breath away.

What was going on?

My eyes were shut, but I gently opened them, my hands shaking. Bright red eyes stared at me only a couple inches away from my own.

"Nes-"

"No Jacob, wait." A tall, reasonably attractive man gently eased Jacob out the way whilst my throat was being crushed by an icy hand.

"Annabel, let her go." He said sternly to the girl pinning me to the wall. There was a low growl through her teeth, and she didn't even flinch.

"Annabel." He said again. The anger and frustration fled her eyes and she snatched her hand away from my neck. The man, who I assumed was Ryan gently pulled her away from me and I dropped to the floor practically coughing my guts up whilst trying to regain air.

Now Jacob was at my side, rubbing my back.

"What the hell is her problem?" Jacob snarled. Everything had seemed so civilised minutes ago – then badabing-badaboom someone was trying to strangle me. Just when I was starting to worry people weren't so keen on killing me.

"I'm sorry." She whimpered and Ryan sat her on the couch, keeping his arm tight around her. Jacob helped me to my feet and kept a hand around my waist.

He looked at Ryan with anger in his eyes, "Ryan what is-"

"That's why I'm here-"

"What, so she can strangle Renesmee to death?" he snapped. "Look, she's been through enough death threats in the last year, she doesn't need anymore."

"Jacob, that isn't what I mean." Ryan insisted. "Just please, let me explain."

Jacob clenched his jaw and eyed Ryan suspiciously. I was still shaking. Jacob felt my hands trembling and pulled me into his arms to try and relax me. Admittedly, it worked. There was a certain sensation about being wrapped in his arms that made me feel safe and secure.

"What?" said Jacob, impatiently. I still didn't know who the hell this guy was. Maybe if his crazy vampire girlfriend hadn't tried to attack me then maybe, just maybe, I could have properly introduced myself.

"When I finally returned home from-"he looked at me for a moment and then looked back at Jacob. "You know. I realised then just how unprotected my Annabel had been. When I came home… she wasn't the same one I left. Someone had attacked her and no one had protected her. Look at her Jacob-"

Annabel was extraordinarily beautiful. But then again, so were all vampires. Although her face was sad. She looked ashamed by what she had done to me. Slowly, she looked up at Jacob with regretful eyes.

"He made me a monster," she whispered viciously.

Ryan continued. "She doesn't take so kindly to other vampires, my apologies. But there's one thing that drives her crazy – we think it's the main thing that makes her react as unpredictable as that."

"The blood." She said. Her voice was dry and cold, not beautiful and harmonious like most vampire voices.

I sighed, "Sorry, but it's kind of a part of the package deal." I didn't want to sound insensitive or anything but, come on! The girl just tried to attack me for Christ's Sake!

"We understand that." Said Ryan. "But Jacob – you spoke a lot and highly of Renesmee. You also spoke of her family. You said how they have a different blood diet from other vampires."

"Animal." I stated. He nodded.

"I've tried to help her control herself. But nothing has worked. I don't mean to intrude, but the vampire family of what you spoke of are our last chance. We were hoping that they could try and convert Annabel like they did with one another."

"It doesn't just happen overnight-"Jacob began.

"We appreciate that. Unlimited patience is the best gift for this." Ryan assured him.

"And why should I request my family give time for you?" I retorted.

"Ness-"

I looked at Jacob. "Jake, his girlfriend just tried to kill me. Why should we-"

"So that she doesn't do it again." Ryan interrupted. He stood off the couch and calmly walked closer to me. "Should I have not told her to leave you, Renesmee – Annabel would have killed you. There is no reason why she wouldn't besides the tiniest of humanity that remains in her mind. She likes to be reminded that she's human-"

"Reminded or convinced?"

"It's best for her to-"

"Ryan, she's not human. Not anymore." I insisted. "I don't mean to sound insensitive, but it's the truth, its fact and it's something that you both need to accept. I should know. I've grown up around vampires – a majority of which hate what they are. Pretty much all of them were changed because they were already dying. Because it made them a monster – they wish they'd been left for dead. Of course they don't make it known to everyone every day, but I discovered how they really felt about themselves as I grew up."

"I understand that you are not a dark twisted soul like many vampires, and I appreciate your harsh but true words." He said, rejoining Annabel on the couch.

There was a long silent pause. Then I broke it.

"I'll discuss this with my family-"

"Thank you-"

"On the basis that you stop living in this fantasy world where there is a cure for vampirism and that every vampire is somehow a hybrid and is part human. This is the real world now, where the only way out, no matter what species you are, is death.

**Hope you enjoyed it!**

**I'll try to update soon! :)**

**Let me know what you think, please review :)**

**xx**


	3. The Threat

**Okay guys, here's the next chapter! :)**

**Enjoy!**

**The Threat **

"JUST SO YOU KNOW, I ONLY AGREED TO THAT BECAUSE SHE'S A THREAT." I TOLD JACOB AS we drove back to my house.

We'd left Ryan and Annabel at Jacob's house. Billy had arranged a visit to see my Grandpa Charlie – purely so that he wasn't left alone with Annabel. I'd left spare clothes and towels in my car, so I slid into the backseat and took my time drying off whilst Jacob took Billy over to Charlie's house. Even when I was dry and dressed, I stayed in my car and sat ready in the driver's seat for Jacob to come home.

"I know and I appreciate you doing it. I really do."

"Are you going to tell me how you know them? – I didn't understand Ryan's story."

"I met Ryan in Norway, y'know, whilst I was away-"

"Then why didn't he just _say_ _when he returned from Norway_?"

"Because you're not supposed to know about Norway – remember?"

"So… I'm not supposed to know that you were missing for fifteen years?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"No, you're just not supposed to know about its _location_. Annabel doesn't know. No one knows, well, _you_ do. But anyway – I met Ryan whilst I was away, he was having a rough time and I guess we both had that in common so we became friends."

"What do you mean a _rough time_? – Were they being mean to you?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No. Ryan was having a rough time being away from Annabel and so was I, with you. This wasn't until we'd been away for about four years – it was getting harder to be away from you. By year fifteen I was practically at breaking point – but then we left. During the time I was with Ryan, I'd told him about you, _a lot_ about you. I also told him in confidence about your family too and that, well, we'd had an alliance with them and that things were _neutral_. He couldn't understand why we would ever do something like that with _vampires_ above all things. But I told him about the animal drinking instead of human and he wasn't so snappy about it."

"So _that's_ why he's here?" I asked, "To convert Annabel-"

"She was human when he left her. She's been left unprotected and had been attacked by a vampire. The reason why she's the way she is – well, your guess is as good as mine. I guess every vampire is different. They react differently to the change?"

"Sounds legit. Or she's just psychotic – the mentally disturbed can't be changed, Jacob."

He smiled, "Not by a shrink, no. But, maybe someone who has the ability to, let's say, get their hands on someone's mind and use it like a rubix cube…"

"I can't fix screwed up minds Jacob – I can only influence their actions-"

"_And_ their way of thinking."

I stared at the road silently for a long moment. It couldn't be possible to permanently influence someone's thoughts – even when I wasn't there, it just wasn't possible, was it?

"Jake – I don't think I can-"

"Then _now_'s your turn to find out." He insisted, "Maybe the Cullens needed to use old fashion methods of converting themselves – but what about _now_? – with you, technology has improved. How do we know that your gift can't have long-term effect?"

"We _don't_ know that it doesn't work-"

"Exactly-"

"But we don't know that it _does_ work either. What if something goes wrong? One little slip in my commands and I can turn a psycho to an uncontrollable maniac – just what the world needs more of – dangerously psychotic vampires. Didn't we just get rid of two?"

"Can't you just _try_?" he asked.

I sighed. "I'll try it on her _if_ all else fails. If my family can't convert her, then I'll help out. If she's converted the way that they are then with Ryan's help, she'll be stable again. Isn't that enough?"

"How long did it take for each member of your family to be able to control themselves?"

"Well-"

"Excluding Bella."

I sighed, "I don't know-"

"A _long_ time. You can _at least_ give her a boost."

"But I don't like _her_-"

"So _now_ the truth comes out."

"It was pretty obvious, Jake."

"So you're telling me that _because_ you don't like her – you are unwilling to help prevent the deaths of hundreds, possibly _thousands_ of innocent people?"

Well when he put it like _that_ it sounded horrible. _I_ felt horrible. However, surely it was normal for her to attack me then me feeling reluctant to help her? – I would have been insane to _not_ be reluctant to help.

"Jacob-"I sighed, "You _know _what I mean. She tried to kill me – or did you miss that part?"

He gave me an unimpressed glare and then looked ahead again, remaining in silence. As I pulled up outside my house, I saw that Carlisle's car was on the drive.

"Good, Carlisle's home." I said, pulling onto the drive next to him. "Let's get this over with."

We walked up the front steps with an eager Jacob in front and a reluctant me trailing behind. Esme was in the living room with Rosalie and Emmett – who immediately felt the tension as we walked in the room.

"Whoa," Emmett scoffed, "Trouble in paradise?"

I scowled at him as I shut the front door behind us.

"Is Carlisle home?" Jacob asked.

"Yes, "said Esme, "He's in his office." She pointed in the rough direction of where his office was and Jacob didn't hesitate to follow it. I lingered for a moment, not really sure if I wanted to follow him. When Jacob was out of sight, Esme looked at me.

"What's wrong?" she asked, sweetly. At first I didn't answer her, my eyes still hovering on the space I last saw Jacob. But finally I looked at her and gently shook my head.

"Don't worry," I assured her. "It's just a… minor disagreement. That's all."

Of course it wasn't really a minor disagreement; it was more of a guilt influenced tension that Jacob had so kindly made me feel.

After that I took my chances and went to join Jacob in Carlisle's office. When I got there Jacob was leant against one of the many large bookshelves facing the desk where Carlisle had himself perched on the edge. As I reached the door, Carlisle looked over his shoulder at me.

"Renesmee, please, come in." he gestured his hand into the room before sliding it back into one of his pockets. I did as he asked and walked in, sitting in the nearest chair.

There was silence as Jacob's next words became dependant on Carlisle's. I watched him as he thought things through.

Finally he sighed, "As you understand Jacob, this isn't something that can happen overnight. It takes many, _many_ years for a vampire to be able to not only convert to animal blood but to be able to control their desires as well."

"I understand." said Jacob. "But is there any way you can at least help to control her? It's not only humans that she turns on, she attacked Renesmee too."

Carlisle looked sharply at me and I looked away, trying not to meet his gaze.

"Did she hurt you, Renesmee?" he asked.

I shook my head, "It hurt whilst she tried to strangle me, but when she let go I was fine."

"She must be a newborn or at least relatively new. Any vampire over a year old wouldn't be that temperamental or viscous." Carlisle looked back at Jacob. "Has she ever met the one who changed her?"

"I think so, she referred to them as _he_."

"Does she still have contact with him?"

"I don't know."

He sighed and went quiet for a moment. "Other than Renesmee, has she come into contact with any other vampires?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask."

"But-"I interrupted, "Surely if she had, they would have at least _tried_ to help control her."

"Everyone reacts differently to the transformation." said Carlisle, "Take your mother and father for example. Your mother was able to control herself very easily from day one, but it was very different with your father."

"Because my mom was offered and accepted help from day one though, right?"

"Yes, but she had control over herself. I've never come across anyone who's been that controlled as a newborn. But this Annabel obviously isn't anything like your mother was."

I didn't say anymore. Carlisle stood from his desk and crossed his arms as he walked over to the large window on the other side of the room. The rain was starting to pour again on the other side; streaks of water ran down the window. He hovered there for a moment and when he drew a breath to talk, I looked away from him, knowing the answer he was going to give.

"Annabel poses as a threat. She doesn't know what she's doing and has no idea what she's capable of." He turned to Jacob, "We'll help her."

_Damn_, I thought.

"Thank you Carlisle." Said Jacob and he turned for the door, as he passed me he flashed me a small smug grin before leaving the room. Carlisle followed shortly after him.

I heard them speak down the hall.

"When can you start?" Jacob asked.

"As soon as possible. How quickly can she get here?"

"Very quick." Jacob's words came out in a different tone from how they had before and I knew he was grinning.

Jacob left to tell Annabel and Ryan whilst I stayed at home awaiting the arrival of someone who could very easily bite my head off without warning. Edward had heard someone's thoughts, he didn't say who, and came to the house with Bella at his side. Everyone else stood ready for Annabel to arrive, knowing well that she may not react so kindly to them. I sat on the stairs, away from where the action would happen.

"Until we see progress in her control, she mustn't leave this house." ordered Carlisle. "We can't risk her getting out of hand."

"Whoa-"I said from the top step, participating for the first time in their conversation. "She's staying _here_? In this _house_?"

"Where else do you suggest she stay, Renesmee?" asked Edward.

"_In Hell_," I muttered.

"Renesmee, Annabel will be staying with us for a while – please try to make her feel welcome."

I stared at my father. I felt the same scowl come onto my face that I made when my parents made me start school a couple of Septembers ago. When I looked away from them and stared at my shoes in disgust, the front door opened. Great.

"Hey – what's going on?" I heard Abi's voice. "Why is everyone standing up?"

"Abi," I stood up and rushed down the stairs, "I don't mean to be rude but you _need_ to leave. Right now."

"Why?" she asked as I came to face her. "Renesmee – what's going on?"

"Renesmee's right, Abi. You shouldn't be here." said Bella.

And then her scent hit me. Annabel was near. A surge of panic flushed through my body.

"Abi, _please_ you need to leave _now_-"

"Renesmee, take Abi upstairs." ordered Edward. I shot him a look.

"_What_?" I gasped. "_No_, dad, she needs to leave."

"It's too late, she'll be exposed outside. Keep her hidden in your room and then we'll help get her out when it's clear."

"Wha-"Abi began but I grabbed her hand and yanked her towards the stairs before she could finish.

I pushed Abi into my room and shut the door behind us. She straightened herself out before coming towards me as I pinned myself to my door.

"Renesmee will you_ please_ tell me what's going on?" she snapped. "Why do you have to hide me?"

I sighed and peeled my body off the door before gently leading her to my bed. We sat on the bed for some time in silence. Abi kept a close eye on me whilst I stared through the steamy window into the wet forest.

I sighed. "I'm sorry about this Abi. I really am. Why aren't you with Embry?"

She shrugged. "He was helping his dad do something today so I decided to come over here – but obviously I should have just stayed at home. Seems I chose the wrong day to come to the Cullens, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"So… what's going on here?"

I looked at her and sighed. Besides the fact of what I am, I didn't like sharing too much details about vampires with Abi, purely because I felt I was protecting her doing so. However, I would tell Claire absolutely anything – but _she_ wasn't here. I wanted to talk to Claire, but I didn't want to burden her on her honeymoon. So Abi was all I had.

"There's this _vampire_-"

"_Another_ one?"

"They're not exactly uncommon Abi."

"Let me guess, _this_ one wants to kill you too? What are you doing to make them hate you?" she said that with a smile, and I lightly smiled at her too.

"She doesn't like other vampires, so when she met me earlier she tried to attack me. But her boyfriend is a wolf and when he left her for a while – she was attacked by a vampire and changed into one. So when he came back-"

"She was exactly what he was designed to kill?"

"Bingo – but, he still loves her. Which is cute I guess. So he wants to help her. He knows Jacob and Jacob told him about my family's control and their animal diet."

"Well, it seems legit Renesmee. At least she won't be threat anymore-"

"But she's staying _here_ – in _my_ house. When was this allowed?"

Abi just laughed at me. "Renesmee, I never knew you had green eyes. Is that what this is about? – you're worried that your family will spend lots of time with Annabel that they'll forget you even exist?"

I didn't answer.

"What about Jacob? – you'll still have him."

"But he'll be spending time working on his _bromance_ with Ryan." I crossed my arms tightly and glared at the bed sheets. After she said nothing, I looked at Abi who had her eyebrows raised at me.

"You're jealous."

"I'm _not_ jealous. I just don't feel comfortable living in the same house as her." I assured her.

"Wait – she's _moving_ in?"

I shrugged. "That's what my dad said and they all agreed on it."

"Why don't you tell them you're not happy with it."

"Oh, they know." I mumbled, "But they're focused on the fact that she's a threat to humans more than my needs so…"

"So… do you want to stay with me for a while? I don't mind and my folks won't mind – they love you."

I was silent for a moment as I considered it. It would be nice to – but even if they didn't mind I felt like I was being a burden if I did. Plus, it would be awkward whenever Embry came over and I was kicked out of Abi's room.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'd better stay here. Besides, I think it might do more damage than good eventually."

I grinned at her and she rolled her eyes.

"_Renesmee Cullen_!" she laughed. "I can assure you that your presence won't be a burden on my love life."

I smiled at her. "I know."

We sat in silence for a while before there was a knock at my door.

"Come in!" I called and the door automatically opened. Jacob quietly walked in and shut the door quickly behind him. The expression on his face told me that things weren't going to plan.

"What's wrong?" I immediately asked. "Is everything alright?"

He tilted his head from side to side, suggesting that things weren't terrible but they weren't great either.

"When Ryan said that she doesn't take kindly to other vampires – I kind of thought he meant she attacked them. But she's scared of them."

"_Scared_?" I repeated. "But she _attacked_ me."

"Maybe it's because you're a hybrid and she sees you as weaker than she is. You're more vulnerable than other vampires."

"Gee, thanks. I feel a lot more confident in her presence now."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "I'm not saying that you _are_ weaker than her. I'm saying that she _thinks_ you are, hence why you'll be more prone to her attacks."

I huffed, "Still not helping, Jacob."

Then Abi cut in. "Jacob, if I were you I'd stop 'helping' her right now. She's going through a phase where her eyes turn _green_." Her moronic grin made my eyes narrow.

"_Jealous_?" Jacob scoffed, "Why the hell are you jealous? – do _you_ want to be an untamed vampire, Ness?"

"_No_ and I'm not jealous, Abi. I told you that-"

"Sorry, you're just not a very convincing liar."

I looked at them both in shock silence for a few seconds. Was it 'turn against Renesmee day'? – Because that seemed to be what everyone was doing.

"So, is it safe for Abi to leave?" I asked, getting off my bed.

"Yeah, Annabel has gone with Ryan, Emmett and Carlisle to learn the basic ways of hunting." said Jacob, "Hopefully the rush will reduce the chance of her lashing out again."

"Okay!" said Abi, jumping off the bed, "As much as I'd like to stay to meet this vampire who likes to kill things – I had better go." She turned to me. "Don't worry, I'll quickly go now. I'll see you soon Renesmee, let me know how things go and… try not to get yourself killed."

What a cliché.

"Thank you for your concern Abi. Get home quick, okay?"

"Sure thing." And she left.

That then leaving me alone with Jacob.

"So…" I began, trying to break the coming silence. "She's scared of vampires, huh?"

"Don't be like that," Jacob moaned, "I think it's odd, especially seeing as we don't know why."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "What about my dad-"

"He can't understand her. Her mind is messed up too much, to be honest, nothing makes sense. He said it's like white noise."

"Freak." I snorted.

"She's going through a rough time, Ness. It's hard for her-"

"Of _course_ it is. It's not easy being a vampire Jacob. To have more ahead, you have to leave loads behind. Especially the ones you love – if you don't want them to get hurt." I slumped backwards onto my bed and faced the ceiling.

As I gently closed my eyes I felt Jacob climb on top of me, when I opened my eyes his nose was touching mine.

"Are you still mad because I made you think I was dead?" he asked with a grin.

"No." I snapped.

"Are you _sure_?"

"Jacob-"but he pressed his lips against mine before I could say anymore. Naturally, I pulled him closer to me, bringing down more of his weight. Although he was starting to crush me, the warmth I was feeling was too good for me to do anything about it.

Darn him and his forgiving charm

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	4. Port Angeles High School

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**Port Angeles High School**

IT WAS DAY TWO OF ANNABEL'S STAY AND I WAS ALREADY STARTING TO RECONSIDER ABI'S offer. She'd attacked me _again_ this morning, so now I was afraid to go downstairs. How long would it be before I was too scared to leave my room?

I had been exiled to my bedroom. And although I spent a lot of my life in here with no trouble, it was becoming insufferable. Ryan was constantly on edge, never really sure if his Annabel was getting better or worse. I sort of had sympathy for Ryan – it must have been terrible for him to be away for so long and then for him to come back to find his love in _that_ state.

I felt bad that Annabel had been left unprotected too. I never really considered that part, mainly because when Jacob left me, _protection _wasn't something he needed to worry about. Turns out, Ryan didn't even have _one_ pack, let alone two packs in his area. He had literally become a lone wolf in that sense.

Okay, so _maybe_ I was being a bit harsh on them. _My_ life in the vampire, wolf world was very different from how Annabel was welcomed into it.

But on the rare occasion when I _had_ seen her, I'd noticed something about Annabel… I wasn't sure what. It was just _odd_.

"Cut her _some_ slack-"

"I _am_ cutting her slack Jacob. You asked me what my problem was with her and _that's_ what my problem is."

"Your problem is that you think she's weird?" he grinned. "Rich coming from you."

I scowled at him. "It's not funny Jacob-"

"Ness, let's face it – you think there's something odd about everyone you meet."

"That's not true."

He raised an eyebrow, "Really? Because that's what it seems like-"

"I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm _not_ paranoid. I'm _concerned_ about this particular vampire. I've thought there was something odd about another vampire and turned out to be right, take Lauren for example."

"But she wasn't exactly _discreet_. _Obviously_ she was screwed up."

"And so is the newborn vampire that's sitting in my living room right now. Aren't you the least bit concerned about me being imprisoned in my room because she's a freakin' psychopath?"

He lay back on my bed and put his hands behind his head.

"As long as you're safe-"

"Oh, _here_ we go." I moaned laying next to him. "_As long as you're safe, I will accept any measure that needs to be taken_." I imitated his voice and frowned at the ceiling before grinning at my childishness.

"Something along those lines." He said and reached over to grab my waist and pulled me onto him. I rested my head on his chest and felt bliss bubble deep inside me.

"So, how long until you leave me to deal with her again?" I asked, crawling up his chest to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around me and kept me there.

"Don't say it like that." He tried to say between kisses. "It's not me who's doing the work. I'm just there-"

"-to help Ryan?"

"Yeah. But she's going out hunting again in a while, so you can leave your room."

I felt a sarcastic cheer burning to be said inside me, but I held it back.

For the next five, maybe ten minutes we stayed like that, our lips locked and Jacob's hands holding the backs of my thighs.

Heaven.

That was all I could think.

But unfortunately, just like every tunnel has a light at the end, every pin had a bubble to burst. I hadn't realised that my door wasn't shut, so of all people, Annabel and Ryan strolled in.

"Oh!" I heard Annabel gasp behind us. I took a snap breath and scrambled off of Jacob, my cheeks burning red.

"Sorry-" she said quickly, "The door was open, so we thought-"

"We thought it was safe." Ryan grinned. His grin reminded me so much of Emmett. I would have scowled if I wasn't so busy trying to hide my embarrassment. How could my door not be shut? – it spent a majority of the time shut.

But I slowly realised something – Annabel hadn't attacked me. Usually whenever we were in the same room, she attacked me or at least looked at me funny, but not this time. She actually appeared relatively normal (as normal as a vampire could get). I wanted to make some snide remark on her self-control, but chose against it.

"Can we help you?" asked Jacob as he sat up.

"Actually," Annabel began. "I was wondering if I could quickly talk to Renesmee before we go hunting. Are you joining us Renesmee?"  
"When?"  
"When we hunt of course. We'll be with you, so you won't have to worry about anything happening."  
Was that supposed to be a threat or patronizing? Or just some sick joke?  
"Er, I'm good thanks. It'd be nice to leave my room and wander around my house for a bit."  
"Well, that's fine. But can I just have a quick word with you? Alone?" she asked, stepping forward.  
She was joking, right? And Ryan wasn't seriously going to let her near me without supervision?  
I looked at Jacob, but he was too busy watching Annabel.  
"Come on Jacob," said Ryan. "We'll wait just outside."  
Cautiously, Jacob got up and turned to me.  
"I'll be right outside." and he left with Ryan. I stood up ready in front of Annabel.  
"You can relax Renesmee, I won't attack you. I promise."  
"What do you want?"  
"I just want to talk to you. I think you and I got off on the wrong foot-"  
"_You think_?" I scoffed. "Because of you, I've been trapped in my room, scared to leave because I value my life enough not to.  
"I know and I'm really sorry that's happened. But I'm better now, Carlisle and Emmett are helping me and so is Edward."  
"Edward? Carlisle? What you're on first name basis now? BBFs?"  
"Renesmee don't be silly. They're trying to help me and they're becoming like-" she bit her tongue.  
"What were you about to say?" I asked, already knowing exactly what he was going. "How can you possibly call them your family? You've only been here a couple of days-"  
"I didn't say that they _were_ family, I said they were _like_ family - in the sense that they're helping me and asking for nothing in return."  
I glared at her.  
"Renesmee, I know what you're thinking and I'm not trying to make you look as if you're exaggerating or judging."  
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.  
She sighed and sat on the edge of my bed. "It means that you appear to be the only one who really doesn't like me here. Don't you think you're exaggerating a little?"  
"Well excuse me for not taking so kindly to those who pose as a threat."  
"I know, I know and I'm sorry for all the times I have made you uncomfortable-"  
"_Uncomfortable_?" I scoffed. "Understatement of the century, Annabel."  
"I understand you have trust issues-"  
"Whoa, _what_?" I interrupted her. "_Trust issues_? What makes you think I have trust issues?"  
"Well, considering what's happened to you in the past year or so - it must make you find it harder to trust people."  
I sat down next to her on the bed.  
"How did you know about that? Oh my G- they told you, didn't they?"  
"They also told me what you are. I think I should tell you that you were lucky your family saved you - you're fate would have been far worse than you think if you had stayed there." she got up and headed for my bedroom door. I realised then that she wasn't specifially referring to the Lauren incident, she was referring to everything that happened with Leonardo and Italy.  
"You mean I would have been stuck with the Volturi for the rest of my life - yeah I know."  
As she reached for the door she looked at me over her shoulder.  
"Worse than that." and she left.  
How could it get worse than that?  
I waited for Jacob to come back and we both looked at each, both thinking the exact same thing.  
"What was that about?" he asked.

"I don't know – but after that, _now_ can I say she's weird?"

He laughed, "No – but maybe she's right."

"About _what_? That my family love her?"

"You need to get those green eyes checked out." He grinned, but then turned serious. "No, about you not being able to trust people."

"_You_ too?"

"C'mon, a couple of years ago you didn't have any problem with trusting people – but in the past year you've been given good reasons not to trust so easily. Last time you were attacked before Annabel, you almost died."

"I trust Ryan… a little."

"That's not the same and you only trust him _a little_. You'll need to get used to Annabel and possibly learn to trust her too. She could be here for a while."

"Great. Now I'm really happy."

Admittedly, after a month, there was clear change in Annabel. She hadn't attacked me in three weeks and hadn't even tensed up when I walked in the room. Ryan wasn't so on edge either, at this rate they would be gone before Christmas – hopefully, but I didn't set my hopes too high. I still wasn't too keen on Annabel, but I had learned not to make it known to everyone everyday like I had at first.

One night, I had been talking to my parents about how uncomfortable I still felt being around Annabel and that I felt trapped in my own home... Again. So, my parents gave me the worst solution ever. And it wasn't the first time they'd chosen this as a solution for a problem. They suggested that I do another year of school. Realising that I couldn't go back to Forks, Edward said how there was always Port Angeles high school. I was persistent in not going, until Bella suggested that Jacob went to school with me. After all, because of his wolf genes, he had to drop out of school. This could be his chance to finish. It took a while, but I finally got around to talking to him about it.

"_School_?" he asked. "Like high school, school?"

"Yeah, c'mon – just senior year. Haven't you ever thought it would have been good to finish school? I mean, things have calmed down now and I think you should finish – plus, I'll be with you."

"You can try, but I won't get in." he rested against the back of the couch and smugly put his hands behind his head.

"Why not?"

"Look at me – do I _really_ look like you're average eighteen year old?"

"Do _I_ look like you're average eighteen year old?"

"Listen, you look more convincing than what I do-"

"You'll regret it-"

"You can try to get me in, but they won't believe I'm eighteen years old. They'll think I left school, went to college and then decided I wanted to go back to school again when I finished my college degree."

The best part was – I _did_ get him in. He couldn't believe that he was actually going back to school – he had hoped that he'd left his schooling days behind when he first started phasing.

The school wasn't too difficult to find. Ninety percent of the journey was spent driving down the Olympic highway after that the school buses were the guides. Jacob had been pretty quiet the whole journey here – he really wasn't expecting to qualify as an eighteen year old which must have busted up a few plans. I kept telling him that he wouldn't regret it, that this would do him good.

Of course, he didn't believe me.

"Just don't be cheeky if the teacher fails you – unless you don't deserve it." I told him. I prayed that there wasn't another teacher here like my old chemistry teacher, Miss Carble. There was a reason she was still a Miss, even at her age of fifty- something.

"I know I haven't been to school in a long time, but I know how to behave myself." He insisted as he drove my Aston Martin into the parking lot.

Already people were noticing my car and how it wasn't you're average teenager's car. I wanted to look away and hide my face from their prying eyes but I stayed strong and just ignored them.

"I can't believe you did this on your own last year." said Jacob, pulling into a free space. "They're all starting to bug me already."

"Oh Jacob, "I sighed, "be _nice_. We're outsiders to them; we haven't been here since kindergarten. We haven't grown up with these people, but that doesn't mean that you can't befriend anyone. Look at Abi and Eli for example, they've known each other practically since birth and yet they welcomed me with open arms. Just be nice and no one will get hurt."

As we rejoined at the back of my car, Jacob slid his fingers through mine and we walked towards the main building. The stares continued into the building.

Ever get that creepy feeling when someone's watching you from behind your back? – I was getting it, bad. But even through the tight crowds, I ignored them. I had Jacob here and that was a huge relief to me.

We collected our class schedules from the main office to find that we only had three classes together. I had hoped for more and Jacob had hoped for a hell of a lot more together, but I was grateful that we had any at all. We were in the same English, Gym and Biology class but on everything else we were left to our own devices.

Luckily, we had English first period. The class was only half full when we reached it. A few people paused their conversations and looked over their shoulders at us as we walked in.

"You still think this is a good idea?" Jacob whispered in my ear behind me.

"Yes." I replied and led us to two free desks at the back. Once we'd sat down I didn't wait to push my desk to join his. He put his arm around the back of my chair and kissed the side of my head.

The class gradually filled. When the teacher, Mr Karmac, started the lesson I was sort of hoping to learn something new, but I hadn't realised beforehand that the syllabus was the same for seniors in Port Angeles as what it was Forks. Great.

The more Karmac talked about Shakespearean literature, the more I felt myself slipping away.

Half way through the class, Karmac decided to pair us up to discuss a quote from one of Shakespeare's plays and of course, because of my luck, he didn't pair me with Jacob. Instead, I was paired with a girl to my left. She was a very pretty girl, I hadn't even noticed her come in, let alone sit next to me. Her hair was short, straight and a rich brown. The darkness of her hair enhanced her green eyes.

She turned and smiled at me and budged her desk a little closer to mine.

"Hi!" she smiled. "New face!"

I smiled, "Actually, my name's Renesmee."

"Oh, _Renesmee, _that's a… strange name. I bet you get that a lot, don't you?"

I shrugged. "It's not so bad – at least you can actually pronounce it right."

"Well, I think it's nice. It's original. I'm Marie – my name isn't so unique, but hey – we don't have a say over what our parents name us."

"Anyone would've thought my parents were on something when they thought of my name." I scoffed, then she gave me a worried look. "No, no – my parents weren't _actually_ on anything, they're clean. They just thought-"

"Don't worry," she giggled, "I'm just messing around. I don't judge anyway."

An unexpected sigh of relief passed my lips as I relaxed in my chair. It was sort of nice to find someone who didn't judge, but then again I didn't know if she would actually be as good as her word.

Karmac was doing something on his computer that took up a majority of the lesson, so he never stopped us from 'discussing'. I sometimes looked over to my shoulder to check what Jacob was doing and every time he looked like he was having the time of his life. He'd been paired with some girl who never seemed to let him get a word in.

"So, is he your boyfriend or something?" Marie asked, leaning forward on her desk to get a better look.

I looked at her and raised an eyebrow, "Am I going to have to watch my back with you?"

She laughed, "Don't be silly, I would never do that. I'm a good girl." And she fluttered her eyelashes at me.

"Yeah, that's Jacob." I didn't think it would be a good idea to call him my fiancé at school. It was usually frowned upon.

"That's nice." She smiled, sitting back. "I guess it's nice to have someone with you when you start school – not knowing anyone is the worst thing in the world about starting a new school."

"You're telling _me_." I scoffed.

"_Renesmee_ _and Jacob_," She muttered quietly. "Mm… has a nice ring to it."

I laughed. "I'm glad you approve – Who's the girl he's with?"

"Oh, that's Leigh. She talks a lot-"

"No kidding-"

"She also thinks she's the freakin' queen of England. You may wanna watch out for that one. I was new here last year and she was in my biology class, four words – pain in my ass. She likes new people; they don't know all the dirt on her. Trust me, don't get caught up in it. Think of her as a wasp – if you ignore her for long enough, she'll go away."

"She sounds familiar." I mumbled.

"Every school has them, didn't you have one at you're last school?"

"Oh yeah."

"What's she like?"

"Dead."

"_What_?"

"She died last year and guess who was suspected of her death?"

I glanced at Marie and she was looking at me like she was about to throw up.

"Don't worry, I'm not a murderer. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was attacked and killed in Seattle."

"Yikes. And _you_ were accused?"

"I was questioned. But, I don't really like to talk about my convictions on the first date." I grinned at her. She smiled and started to doodle on her page.

"You looked like you were having the time of your life." I said to Jacob as we went to leave the class.

"Jeez, I think I'm skipping English for the rest of the year. I can't do that again, Ness-"

"Fine, we'll swap sides. You can work with Marie next time. I'll work with Leigh-"

"Renesmee, wait!" Marie was calling behind me so I slowed down.

"Look you've made a friend already." Jacob groaned as we turned. I nudged him and Marie approached us.

"I meant to ask you, what classes have you got? Have you got Math with Mrs Jenson next?"

"Er yeah, how did you kno-"

"You're in my class! And you're going the completely wrong way." She informed me. I looked at Jacob.

"Go on," he sighed and smiled. "You go, I'll find this damn chemistry class and I'll meet you at lunch?"

"Sure-"

"Why don't you two come and sit with us at lunch?" she asked, moving closer to us to avoid being bumped in the crowds.

"That'd be nice." I smiled at her. "I'll catch up with you for Math?"

She looked at me for a moment and got the hint. "Okay, well, I'll wait over her and just - yeah." Then she went to stand at a bunch of lockers.

"How do you do that?" Jacob asked.

"Do what?"

"Do _that_ – getting people to like you so quickly. I mean, what's not to like? But still."

I grinned. "I _make_ them like me."

"I thought you said you'd only use your gift when you're in danger. What's the danger? – Being unpopular?"

I hit his chest. "_No_. I make them like me by seeming likable. But I do sometimes wonder if I accidentally made Abi and Eli like me with my gift."

He smiled. "You probably did, because there was a threat of you having no friends?"

"I'll meet you in the cafeteria at lunch and _please_ go to your lesson. Don't just say you will and then don't. Make a friend… who's not a girl."

He laughed. "_Seriously_ – green eyes, get them checked out."

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	5. The Hybrids

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**The Hybrids **

JACOB WAS LATE TO LUNCH. I'D GONE TO THE CAFETERIA AFTER ART AND SPOTTED MARIE sitting at a table with two other people at lunch. I didn't know why, but I walked over there hesitantly, she was in a close conversation with two other guys at her table and I didn't know if I should hold back and wait until she saw me. As I slowly dodged between chairs, I caught her eye.

"There you are!" she smiled and waved me over. Now I picked up my pace a little. She pushed a chair out for me. "Here, have a seat – where's Jacob?"

"He's meeting us here." I told her and started to make myself comfortable.

"Renesmee, this is David and Will – guys, this is Renesmee." I got teethy smiles and 'hi's from both of them.

"So-"David began, leaning forward. "What brings a beauty like you to Port Angeles?"

Marie threw a bit of her sandwich at him. "David! Leave the girl alone. It's her first day and already you're behaving like a vulture. Sorry Renesmee, I was hoping he would behave."

"It's fine, really." I insisted.

"_See_," he boasted, "She digs me."

"I wouldn't go _that_ far-"

"She has a boyfriend anyway David, so you're wasting your time."

"That word means nothing to me." He insisted.

"Well it might once you see who he is."

Just then I felt a hand touch the small of my back and sit next to me. Jacob sat close to me and put an arm round the back of my chair.

"Sorry I took so long I had a _disagreement_ with a teacher." He said. My stomach plummeted.

"Jake-" I whined, "What did I say about not being rude?"

"It's not rude to be opinionated. I was just letting him know _subtly_ that he's a lousy teacher."

Will cut in, "I guess you got stuck with Harp for Math?"

Jacob nodded, "Yeah, is he always like that?"

"Of _course_ he is. Well, he actually used to be a pretty decent guy, but after his wife left him last year he's been doing all sorts of crazy stuff."

"Like what?" I asked.

"Like attempting suicide." Said David, "The guys a total nut, seriously. He shouldn't be allowed to be a teacher. Last year we were doing measurements with rope a lot – try and guess what that rope was for?"

"He was trying to get his students to assist in his suicide." Marie pointed out. I looked away from them as my stomach started to turn. I didn't have any lesson with this guy, but I was worried that Jacob may have made things worse – of course I didn't know what exactly he said to him.

Friday took it's time coming. The first week had been pretty slow, but I was thankful the first weekend had arrived as we drove home in my Aston Martin. Marie had become a pretty good friend; we'd gotten to the stage where we had each other's numbers which was good progress in my opinion.

I had warned Jacob and he hadn't bothered his teacher anymore with unnecessary comments.

"So, how much homework you got for the weekend?" he asked as we crossed into the forest roads.

"About up to my chin, you?"

"Same, which means that I obviously have more than you."

"Why?"

"Because," he grinned, "I'm much taller than you."

"Fair point – does that mean that we won't see each other all weekend?"

"No, it just means that the homework won't get done." He smiled and pulled onto the driveway outside my house. I stepped out of the car and hadn't even noticed until then Claire's car sitting outside the house.

"Claire's home!" I cheered and bolted into the house.

Through the front door, there she was standing with her husband.

"Claire!" I smiled and threw my arms around her. "You're home!"

"Yeah we're back, _finally_." She let me go.

"So how was Utah? Are you parents okay?" I asked, pulling her to an empty couch.

"It was really nice, trust me in your eternal life you _have_ to go there sometime. I'm sure you could work around the whole sun thing. My parents love it already."

I smiled "I'll see what I can do."

"Well," she sighed, "I'm proud of you. You're still alive and you didn't do anything to get yourself killed. I'm impressed."

I tilted my head. "I'm not _that_ bad. But I'm kinda surprised I'm not dead either to be honest."

"Yeah, your parents told me about your new 'friend'. But she's cool now, right?"

"I guess. But I still don't like her being here."

"I know, I know, but just give her some more time – she'll be gone before you know it."

I scoffed, "I hope so."

Just then the front door opened and Annabel and Ryan walked in. I was surprised that Claire's presence didn't faze her at all, she didn't flinch, and she didn't even stop moving to take in the smell of a human. Then why the hell did she always attack _me_?

"Hello Renesmee, how was school?" she asked.

"It was okay thanks." Then I looked at Claire. "Do you wanna go for a walk? I'm sure Jacob could tell Quil a bit about Ryan and Annabel's condition and stuff. We could go for a walk and talk about Utah and school and things."

"Sure that sounds good," she said standing up, then she looked at Quil. "We'll be back in a while." And we were just at the door before Annabel started to talk.

"Wait, you're going out_ on your own_ with a human?" Annabel asked me. I looked at her and then looked at Claire.

"I'm not going to eat her Annabel." I assured her. "What's your problem?"

"I just don't think you should go out on your own-"

"Annabel," Ryan whispered. "Not now."

She sighed, "Ryan I've been trying to hold it off but I can't hold my tongue for much longer-"

"She might not need to know-"

"She _does_ need to know, they _all_ do. Ryan they're helping me control myself don't you think it's the least I can do? To help them?"

"What is she talking about?" Jacob asked, "Is Renesmee in danger?"

Ryan went to shake his head but Annabel nodded first, then she looked at me. "Renesmee, don't leave."

"Why? What's this oh-so-big danger?"

"They're searching for you."

"_Who_?"

"The Hybrids."

I stared at her for a long moment. "The _hybrids_? Who and what are they?"

Annabel sighed and slowly walked towards me. She reached for my hand and I flinched.

"I'm not going to hurt you." She assured me and held my hand, leading me to another couch.

"You know you're not the only hybrid vampire in the world, don't you?" she asked.

"Yes, there are others. I know one, his name is Nahuel, why?"

"There are more than just you two."

I hesitated. "How many more?"

"_Thousands_."

"What-?"

"Wait a minute," Jacob interrupted. "How do you know about this? And how do we know you're telling the truth."

"You don't know I'm telling the truth. That's where trust comes in." she paused and took a deep breath. "I know about it because I was turned by someone who was turned by a hybrid for a mission."

"Then why aren't you with them?" I asked.

"Because he left me to find more information, and his wife went too."

"His wife was a vampire?"

She nodded. "She wasn't his wife when he turned her. She was only changed because he thought it might be a good idea. She was his biggest mistake."

"So what happened? You were changed five years ago right?"

"Yes. But Renesmee, the things I tell you – _please_ don't hate me. I'm not a spy-"

"Why would I hate you?"

"I was turned in April five years ago by a vampire named Leonardo – you may know him. Leonardo was changed by a hybrid named Laserek in England."

"And Laserek is?..."

"A soldier. Maybe it would be better if I started from the beginning. Thousands of years ago, when the existence of the vampire was just beginning, those _men_ who were changed still mated with human females, completely unaware of what they were creating. Of course, only a month or so later, vampire human hybrids were popping out like flowers all over the place. Thousands of young women died because of the destruction the foetus caused. Of course the fathers never knew they existed and wouldn't care for them even if they did. Those _proud_ vampires looked down at the hybrids, they thought they were scum – no offence."

"None taken."

"But anyway, as the population of vampire hybrids increased, the hybrids started to see their vampire heritage for what they were. They were sick of being looked down on, so they rebelled. There was a war between the vampires and the hybrids, but even though the hybrids had outnumbered the vampires, the vamps still won in a landslide. Thousands of hybrids were killed, but only five remained and those five surrendered just in time. The remaining five fled the battlefield in search for unclaimed land they could call they're own. They found a little island that's now called Grimsey near Iceland. There is some human life on the island and an airport but in the corner where people rarely go is where the hybrids nest. So anyway, over the years, the remaining five set out across the globe to build an army of hybrids. When they reached nearly five hundred, their findings were rare. The vampires had grown more knowledge of the pros and cons of being what they were and so they managed to keep themselves to themselves. The only time they touched a human was when they needed to feed. So over the years, the vampires forgot about the hybrids and they even forgot about their opinions about them and no longer saw them as scum. But the hybrids still seek revenge for the lives lost in that war."

"So is _that_ why the hybrids want me – to _fight_ against the vampires?"

She shook her head. "No, _your_ fate, personally, is _a lot_ worse. The leader of the hybrids, Sage, who was one of the remaining five had to think of a new way to get more numbers. Some hybrids were venomous but the venom would only turn a human into a pure vampire and that wasn't what they wanted, they wanted hybrids. So the only way for the numbers to increase was for the hybrids to mate. It wasn't until then that Sage realised all the hybrids they'd collected over the years were male because they believed that women would be terrible soliders. It was then that he saw a new mission, so he sent out a hundred soldiers to find a female vampire hybrid. _That's_ where you come in."

I just stared at her for a long while, and then I looked away. "I think I'm going to throw up."

"Hold up," Jacob sat next to me on the couch. "Where do _you_ come in?"He asked Annabel.

"I guess I should explain that too." She sighed. "Well, one of the soldiers, Laserek thought of an idea whilst searching England. He thought that maybe they _needed_ a vampire to help them out. So he chose Leonardo and changed him. Leonardo looked up to him like a father, not knowing how much stronger he was than him. Anyway, Laserek gave him the mission of finding a female hybrid. Eventually, Leonardo left England and decided to search America. When hitting the midlands, he found me and decided he needed an 'assistant'. After turning me, he ended up being like my master. I had to follow him like a puppy and I couldn't complain either. But, to cut a long story short, we eventually found that bubble headed Lauren. When she'd been with us for about three years, Leonardo had heard about a vampire coven in Italy-"

"-The Volturi."

"Yeah, so they went off to Italy and I stayed here. Few years after Ryan came back and year after that I was sat here on a couch warning the female hybrid that I was created to catch in the first place. The End."

Jacob spoke first. "But Aro would have seen that Leonardo was a spy though his memories. Wouldn't he?"

"Yes, but-"

"Leo could make him forget." I interrupted Annabel.

"Same as he made Lauren forget every time she found he was sleeping with someone else. Same as he made _you_ forget everything about your life."

Was it too much to ask for a normal life? For me it clearly was. I was wanted, yet again for something I could do. But this time, I was wanted for being a female, to have babies – the whole thing was just sickening.

Shortly after our conversation, we went to hunt down the rest of my family. They _needed_ to hear this if they didn't know already.

"They won't get to her." said Jacob, "We can protect her-"

"Jacob-" Annabel interrupted him. "These hybrids live forever. They have enough time in their life to search the entire planet. They might find Renesmee next week or in five hundred years, or even a thousand years. Either way, you can't protect her forever. They _will_ find her. Sorry to break it to you."

"Annabel. We need you to tell us the truth." said Carlisle, "Do they know that you're with Renesmee?"

"They don't even know I exist. Plus, as far as they're concerned, Leonardo is also alive and searching for her."

"Isn't there anything we can do?" asked Bella. "I'm not just going to hand my daughter over for some sick breeding program."

"I know, but I-"

"But what?" snapped Jacob.

She sighed, frustrated and looked at Jacob. "The only thing I can think of is you trying to negotiate with them." I hadn't realised that she was talking to me. I was too busy thinking about why it was always me. Why did everyone want something from me? What was so great about me, really?

"Renesmee?" Annabel repeated. I looked at her.

"_Negotiate_?"

"Yes. But, there is a one in a million chance of it working-"

I stood up. "Then why don't you suggest something that has more than a one in a million chance of working?"

She went silent then. Damn. I had hoped she would argue, just so I could let off some steam.

But everywhere went silent then. The worst part was, it wasn't the sweet silence of victory, it was a daunting silence.

I looked around as everyone watched Annabel. It was when Edward tensed up that I immediately wanted the throw up. Someone had thought something out of line and that someone was Annabel.

"No. Definitely not." he shot up with clenched fists.

"What is it?" asked Jacob.

"It would have more than a one in a million chance of working-"

"Forget it. I had to watch as my wife went through that I am not going to let my daughter put herself through it as well. So no, think of something else."

"What do you suggest then?" she snapped. "I've already told you that constant protection for the rest of her life isn't an option. It's insane and they'll find their way round you anyway."

"What is this about?" I asked, becoming quickly frustrated.

"We're not doing it Renesmee-" Edward began.

"But it can't hurt to just tell us what it is. We're not all mind readers dad."

He looked at me for a long moment before, reluctantly, Annabel spoke.

"I was going to suggest that you try to find another female hybrid. But that could be impossible. _Or_, you could find another hybrid, a male and-"

"I don't think I want to hear where this is going." said Jacob, turning his back to the rest of the room.

"What?" I said. I knew exactly where this was going but I wanted to see if she was really suggesting this.

"You could try to conceive and hope that it's a girl."

"No." the word was said in almost unison by a majority of the people in the room except from me.

Annabel was speechless to their reaction. A new silence broke out but it was killed by a quiet voice, my voice.

"Yes." I said quietly. I had a gut feeling that I would regret my decision but I couldn't see another way out of it. If risking my life carrying one hybrid child would save me from having thousands - then I would do it.

I knew that the only person who could help me would be Nahuel. He was the only other half vampire I knew, of course, I didn't know how likely he was to agree to it. Would it be wrong for me to _make _him agree to doing it? - I had vowed shortly after leaving Italy that I wouldn't use my gift towards people I cared about. I promised to only use it when in a serious situation or when I felt threatened.

But I needed this.

Yes, it would be a stupid and in some senses an extremely selfish thing to do. On the condition that it was a girl, as soon as she was old enough, she would be handed over to the hybrids. She'd only be six years old, seven or eight at most.

Yes, it would be an extremely selfish thing to do. But someone has to do it and I didn't want it to be me. I might be one of few female hybrid on this god forsaken planet and like Annabel said they might find me sooner rather than later.

"No." snapped Jacob, "You're not doing it-"

"Jacob this is my decision to make-"

"I don't care. You're making the wrong one. I'm not letting you do this to yourself."

A tearful sigh left my mouth. "Jake, you have to remember that I'm not like what my mom was. I'm stronger than her and seeing as it would be a hybrid then it would be compatible with me-"

"Unless it has the vampire genes of both parents." Carlisle interrupted.

"And what happens if it _does _get vampire genes from both parents?" asked Jacob, already knowing the answer.

Carlisle sighed remorsefully "Renesmee-" he walked calmly to me and held my hands in his, with desperation and begging bright in his eyes. "There is a fifty, fifty chance that this baby will turn out the way we want it - in both gender and species. The child could either take both human genes or-" he paused. "Or it could inherit both vampire genes - killing you within days."

My stomach turned. "I know." then I looked at Jacob.

"But I'm going to do it anyway-"

"No you're _not." _

"If I don't then they'll find me Jacob and when they do they'll stop at nothing to get me and then... You'll never see me again."

"Ness - look you're not thinking straight. You've been stuck in your room for so long that you're agreeing to do crazy things-"

"When will you realise that we have no other choice?"

"When will _you_ realise that doing this will kill you. You're not strong enough to-"

"No. No I'm not. I'm never strong enough to you. I can't do anything without risking my life. Everything I do is carelessly thought out and I always fail. I always over estimate my strength and one of these days I'll get myself killed. Tell me something I don't know, Jacob." I stopped to take a deep breath. When I continued I was a lot calmer. "I know that you're scared for what could happen. I am too, I mean, I'm terrified. I don't want to die but if they find me and take me to use me as some kind of baby machine - I'd rather be dead."

He didn't say anything else, instead he just stared at me for a while and turned to the door. As he went to leave I reached for him,

"Jake-" but my father put his arm in front of me. Then Jacob was gone.

What had I done?

"Are you sure you still want to do this?" Edward asked me in a hushed tone.

Reluctantly, I nodded. "I need to do this." I whispered. A tear slid down my cheek as my eyes never left the forest border outside - the last place I'd seen Jacob.

Silence lingered in the room for a long time, no one moved. Probably because they were waiting for me to back out - but they'd be waiting a while before I said no. I knew I was going to regret this in some way, but I didn't care.

The phone call to Nahuel was probably the longest in history. I was talking to him for two hours between the hours he was talking to Edward, the three hours he was talking to Carlisle and the ten minutes he was talking to Jacob who was constantly threatening him to not hurt me.

After the over five hour conversation, Nahuel agreed to it.

When Carlisle informed me that the plan would go ahead, my heart jumped and sank at the same time. This could probably kill me. Yikes.

Since I had confirmed to Jacob that I was going through with it, I had barely seen him. His pack had joined forces with Sam's to create some kind of protective border around the house. The border was so tight that I could generally see two wolves outside my window every night. I went to sleep reasonably content whenever I saw the russet furred wolf standing guard outside.

It was the night before Nahuel was due to arrive and, as usual, the wolves were standing guard somewhere outside. I was pacing in my bedroom, debating on whether or not to go and talk to Jacob. I hadn't seen him in three days, let alone spoken to him. Whilst on the subject, I hadn't actually spoken to Jacob in nearly five days.

I think he was pretty pissed off with me, and why shouldn't he? – I was only trying to save myself from being taken by a bunch of twisted hybrids that wanted to use me for mating. Why _shouldn't_ he be mad at me?

Oh, that's right, because I'd rather be dead than be a mother to thousands.

I needed to see him. I needed to speak to him. The plan for Nahuel and I to try and… _conceive_, was set for tomorrow night and there was no end to the guilt I was feeling. After tomorrow, Jacob would hate me and there would be no way of me being able to reason with him after that. He would do what he needed to do _outside_ and stand there for as long as he felt he needed to.

The tension was making my face heat up, so I went to my bathroom and splashed some water on my face. But even that wasn't good enough, so, back in my room I opened a window. I expected the smell of grass and nature to flush through the gap but instead I smelt Jacob.

He was near.

He may not have been right outside my window, but he was near.

Now, I _desperately_ needed him.

I left my window open and grabbed the first pair of shoes my hands touched before slipping them on and going out to find Jacob.

It wasn't long until I heard shuffling and the low growls caused by any telepathic disagreements the wolves had. I wished I knew what they were talking or _thinking_ about. As my hand brushed a near tree, I looked up and saw all the wolves grouped together.

I saw the silhouettes of their heads turn in my direction, but I couldn't distinguish one from the other.

"Jake-"I said quietly, "Can I talk to you, please?"

After a few seconds of nothing, one of them moved and as the wolf neared me, I could smell Jacob again. It was him. I was grateful he came forward so I walked away, indicating for him to follow.

When I knew the others were out of sight I turned back to Jacob, only to find him still in his wolf form.

"_Jacob_-" I said in a low tone. "It would be nice if you would talk to me too."

A moment later the wolf silhouette was replaced with a human's.

"This had better be quick." He snapped, shaking out his arms.

I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms. "_Had better be quick_?" I repeated.

"Yeah – now, what is it?"

I was speechless. I was absolutely speechless.

"W-wha-" I couldn't form proper words. "Jacob, look, I know that you're in a crap mood given everything that's happening but there's no need to be such an ass."

He sharply sighed. "Oh jeez, I'm sorry. But y'know, the girl you love getting herself pregnant with something that will most definitely kill her _generally_ does that to a guy-"

"Alright Jacob!-" I pinned my hands to his chest, "I'm sick of having this argument with you. So tell me this- if you had a choice between letting me create another hybrid _with someone you know and can trust_ or sending me away with a bunch of psychos so that I can be raped repeatedly for the rest of my life – which one would you choose?"

He didn't answer.

"Exactly." I mumbled. "I feel like over the past few weeks you and I have been starting world war three. I wanted to come here to see you and to make a truce – _we_ of all people shouldn't be like this." I paused and reached for his hands. When he thankfully didn't pull away, I continued. "Jacob Black, I will love you for as long as I live and even after that I will still love you. Admittedly, if this doesn't go to plan, then my days are numbered, period. But surely if that is the case then you can make my last weeks worthy-"

"For something that you brought on _yourself_?" he spat. "Renesmee, _I_ warned you. _I_ told you not to go through with it but you're doing it anyway. It's not as if you're going to be forced into it." He stopped for a while and I looked at his silhouette, my heart aching.

"I know how this will happen," he continued. "You'll beg me to talk to you, to _love_ you. And I'll beg you to reconsider _one last time_, but what difference will it make? Even if I get down on my knees and beg, you still won't change your mind."

Now, his hands were holding mine and he lowered to the ground.

"Ness, I am _begging_ you. _Please, _please don't do this." His voice had changed so suddenly to quiet and desperate. Something punched my heart and it hurt like hell, but what hurt even more was that a part of me _wanted_ to say to him that I wouldn't do it. But I couldn't lie to him.

"Jake-" I whispered. "I'm sorry-"

But I didn't get to finish. He dropped my hands and stormed away so that I was at a distance before he phased.

Damn it.

But he knew what I was going to say. I knew that I would still do it.

So I didn't bother to run after him or call him back, I just turned around and walked away with tears threatening in my eyes.

Hoping he would hear me, I whispered "I love you." At the forest border and returned to my room.

At some point in my conscious, subconscious state my bed sloped slightly. First I chose to ignore it, but then the words 'hybrid' and 'my window is still open' sprung to mind and I jolted awake.

And I hadn't been wrong; a hybrid _had _snuck into my window – just not the kind of hybrid I was expecting.

Jacob.

"Sorry I scared you." He muttered, his fingers lightly stroking my hand. I didn't say anything, so he continued.

"I was thinking whilst I was guarding outside your window." He told me. "If this plan doesn't work and things go wrong, _really_ wrong… then I'm coming with you."

"What are you talking about?"

"If you die, then I'm coming with you."

"_No_, absolutely not." I snapped. "Jacob- can't you just have a _little_ faith in me. Would optimism be such a hardship?"

"Ness you don't understand-"

"No, I _do_ understand." I paused and sat up to rest against him, looking into his eyes. "Y'know, I could have said no to you or rejected you when you asked me to marry you or told me about the imprint. But you took a _chance_ anyway and told me that you loved me and look where it's gotten us. You _could_ die out there, guarding my house, but you're taking a _chance_ and doing it anyway – to protect me. I know that there is a chance I could die doing this, but I'm taking a _chance_ and doing to anyway because I don't want anything else to happen to me."

Judging by the look on his face, I think I was finally starting to get through to him. He then put an arm round me and lifted my chin to him.

"Can you just promise _one_ thing?" he asked.

"Anything."

"Don't die. _Please_ don't die. Over the past year I have come so close to losing you on so many occasions, I don't want this to be another one."

I smiled, "I'll try not to." And he kissed me. I pulled him closer before wrapping my legs around him.

"I love you." He whispered. "I'm really sorry for how I've acted over the past few weeks-"

I held a finger to his mouth to make him stop. "It's fine, Jacob. I knew exactly why you were doing it and it's okay. To be honest, if you were about to do something like this, I would be pretty pissed off too."

He grinned and flipped me over, pressing my back against the bed sheets whilst he hovered over me.

"That doesn't make it right." He said and kissed me again.

We were like that for quite some time. In the end, we were laying half naked under the bed sheets with my head resting on Jacob's shoulder and my hands on his chest.

"So, on a scale of one to ten," I began, "How much does what I have to do with Nahuel bother you?"

"Completely off the scales." He admitted, "But I'm more concerned about how it will risk your life." He paused for a moment. "How do _you_ feel about it?"

I shrugged, "I don't really think about it – mainly because I don't want to think about it. But is it the only reason for the huge amount of guilt I feel."

"So you're not doing this whole thing _just_ so you can sleep with him?" he asked with a small grin. I immediately sat up.

"That's not funny Jacob." I said. "Nahuel _is_ special to me in the sense that I've never met anyone else who is like me, besides him. He's a _really_ good friend and all-"

"But _I_ was a really good friend-"

"You were my _best _friend, like my brother. Nahuel isn't like that so there are _no_ links or similarities between you two _at all_."

"I was only kidding – but let's not talk about it anymore-"

"Why not?"

"Because, it just makes me feel… _uncomfortable_. I don't really like him anyway-"

"How come?" I asked. "What's Nahuel ever done to you?"

"Nothing I guess, I just-"he stopped and sat up, looking away from me out the window.

"Jake- what is it? You can tell me."

He was silent for a long while before he sighed. "I just sometimes think about who you'd be with if you weren't with me. If I had chosen to just be your friend, a best friend, someone to talk to or whatever." He still looked out the window. "And whenever I do, I always imagine that you'd be with him. You're both so similar, the _exact_ same literally. He would be right for you-"

"Hey." I reached forward and turned his face to me. But his eyes didn't meet mine. "Jacob, don't _ever_ think that. I love _you_, not him. And yeah, Nahuel and I _are_ similar – but then again so are _you_ and I." finally, he looked at me.

"Honestly, I used to think about that _all_ the time. What kind of person would I want to spend the rest of my life with? At the time I thought, _really_, I had the choice of three. I could either love a human, a vampire or a hybrid. A human would only love me for their short life; a vampire might be a little dangerous – even for me. Then I thought about a hybrid, someone like me and sure, I considered Nahuel. But I didn't like it. I didn't like the idea of _being_ with someone who was just like me, I only liked the idea of being friends with one-"

"And having one's child?" he smirked.

"_Jacob_ – don't spoil the moment." Now I held his face with both hands. "What I'm trying to say is that: even though I never considered loving a _wolf_ hybrid, I considered a vampire hybrid, someone just like me and I didn't like it a single bit. You and me – what we are, we have in common. We're half and half – honestly I think that it's better that we're half different species. You'd probably drive me insane if I was part wolf or if you were part vampire. I guess in some ways, _us_ is wrong – if you look at it on a _natural_ basis. But we're the odd couple who chose to flip normality the bird and be together anyway." I smiled and laid back. "And _that's_ what makes us the coolest couple since salt and pepper"

We laughed as Jacob hovered over me, his mouth inches away from mine.

"I should probably let you sleep." he said, about to sit up. I held him down.

"No. I don't want you to leave." I didn't know how long it would be until I had another moment like this with him after tomorrow, I needed to make the most of it now.

"Can't we do something?" I asked, sitting up. "After tomorrow I'm gonna be officially under house arrest. No hunting, no swimming, no driving, no casual walks - nothing."

"It's not too late to change your mind." he shrugged.

"Jacob." I could feel a growl roll off the end of my tongue.

He held his palms up, "Alright, alright - what do you want to do? Play chess? Watch TV? Play piano? Check emails? - I'll stay with you whatever it is."

"Good, because I was planning on starting with escaping out my bedroom window-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa - no one ever said anything about leaving the house."

"I did, just now. C'mon Jacob - do you have any idea what it's like being trapped in your house? After tomorrow I won't be able to leave here and it'll be hard to hunt and do anything once I'm pregna-"

"Don't say it." he sighed, looking away from me. "Alright, I'll take you out. Where do you want to go?"

I smiled "The beach. We can go for a swim? Give the rest of the wolves the night off, I'll be with you anyway."

"Fine - on one condition."

"Which is?"

"We do the _normal_ thing and use the front door. The last thing I need is for Bella or Edward to rip my head off for taking you out without their permission."

"But I'll be with you - it's not as if I'm going out on my own."

"Everyone's been pretty edgy over the last few days. If anyone found out you were suddenly not here anymore - they would freak."

I sighed. "Fine."

My parents were going to freak anyway. I hadn't hunted in weeks because I'd been tapped in my room due to Annabel and now I definitely couldn't leave the house because of what could be waiting out there for me - that exact thought had me rethinking going out, but I needed to go out, to feel the air. The outside was slowly becoming a distant memory. But maybe they'd make an exception.

"No, absolutely not." said Bella, sitting herself on the couch. I'd eased the question in but I knew that she would say no.

"Mom, _please." _ I begged, "I haven't been out in ages. I need to hunt, I need energy-"

"You'll do fine with just donated blood, Renesmee."

"But-"

"Renesmee, no."

I sighed and chose my next words carefully.

"Mom," I went to sit next to her on the couch. "After tomorrow night it might _a long _time until I can go out again to do anything, not just hunting-"

"Bella, I'll be with her." Jacob cut in. "You know I won't let anything happen to her. She'll be with me the entire time, I won't her out of my sight."

She looked away from both of us for a moment and then sighed that wonderful sigh that my dad would sigh when he had given up and would let me do something.

"If anything happens to you-"

"I will take full responsibility and don't worry, nothing will happen."

She looked from me to Jacob and he face grew more concerned. "Jake-"

"Don't worry, she'll be in good hands."

Our destination was the beach. I told Jacob before we left that there was to be no surprise cliff diving involved - just casual swimming without a care in the world. I packed a medium bag with a few towels and extra clothes. I'd waited whilst Jacob told the rest of the wolves to take the night off. Although they were pleased to be free, they left on full alert. I couldn't help but smile at things looking relatively normal - the wolves weren't guarding my house any more. I hadn't seen Ryan or Annabel all day - obviously they were still here, their presence was just becoming more discreet. The two of them not being here made me feel slightly happy and made them almost seem like a bad dream.

But then I was reminded that I couldn't leave the house and then I realized that, yeah, it's still real. I'm still wanted and life isn't brilliant if you're me.

Just for tonight, for one night only, I would try to temporarily erase any unwanted memories or thoughts that I had. I would forget about not only the events that could follow as a result of what is planned for tomorrow night but also forget about that damn acceptance letter from Cambridge university, the names Leonardo, Lauren and the Volturi, the worst fifteen years of my life, anything bad would be forgotten for tonight and I would relish in what I _wanted _to remember and how blissful tonight could be. Well, it will be blissful as long as Jacob has the same idea - which was unlikely.

We drove to the moonlit beach. Just as I expected at this late hour, the shore was completely empty, the sand looked almost untouched where the waves and rain had smoothed it out and the waves were calmly crawling up the sand and retreating to the sea as if falling from a high building.

I smiled warmly at the sea, it was so beautiful. The air was fresh and it covered my entire body as oppose to the small breezes I got from my window that I'd become accustom to. I let the gentle wind curve through the spaces between my fingers as I walked toward the water. Jacob slowly followed me, during our walk to the beach from my car Jacob held my hand, but not in a nice way. He held it like I was a child next to a busy road.

Finally, when Jacob approached me from behind, I slid my fingers through his.

"Can you stop being my protector now and be my fiancé?" I asked, looking up at his moonlit face. His eyes were night dark, they were black and they were looking anywhere but me.

He wouldn't answer.

Hurting inside, I shrugged nonchalantly and let him go.

"Fine." I walked further towards the sea and started to strip down.

"Join me when you lighten up!" I called to him and crossed into the water.

The water was freezing. Damn Pacific waters! When I had reached deeper, waist level waters, I turned to find Jacob just watching me like a parent in a playground.

Jesus Christ. I didn't expect him to hate me until the day _after_ tomorrow. Or was he just practicing hating me so that he's very convincing when it comes to the real deal?

The only way to get him into the water would be to give him a real reason to come in.

I sparked an idea.

_Let's see how _he_ likes it_, I thought. Casually, I swam on my back, my front and watched Jacob out the corner of my eye. For a second he turned to look behind him, as soon as he did I took in the most amount of air my lungs could and disappeared under the water. I considered this as revenge for him throwing himself off a cliff last month and having me believe he was dead.

I sunk to the sea floor and stayed there in the darkness as the calm waves rippled moon rays on my skin.

Luckily, only ten seconds later there was more movement in the water. He had taken the bait.

Soon his arms and legs were pushing more water against me he was so close. Then I heard his muffled voice shout my name above the water. After he said it for the third time, I returned to the surface.

I broke the surface with my back to him.

"Renesmee!" he yelled, but he wasn't calling into emptiness anymore, he'd spotted me, he was calling me and he was _really_ pissed off with me too.

Uh-oh.

I turned around and he was swimming towards me. In the back of my mind a little voice was telling me to swim _away_ a let him cool down, but I was too worried to do that too. I just lingered there, not really knowing what was coming next.

"Don't you _ever_ do that again, d'you hear me?" he yelled even though he was right in front of me.

"Jake-"

"You had me thinking you were dead. Was that supposed to be some kind of _joke_?"

"No-"

"Then what?"

"Well-"

"_What_?"

"Jacob, _stop_!" I shrieked at him, "Do you have _any _idea how many times in my life I've thought _you_ were dead? Last _month_ you had me thinking you were dead and you did it on purpose, just to get me in the water – isn't that what I just did?"

"That was different. You weren't at any risk of being kidnapped by anything and everything was normal."

"I don't care!" I snapped. "Jacob I want _tonight_ to be normal. Tonight will be my last night of normality for a _long_ time, in fact, I may never have another one. I know you're upset with my decisions and you don't like what's meant to happen tomorrow night but hating me isn't going to change anything. All it will do is make you more miserable. Look, I know that after tomorrow, I'll probably barely see you. I'll see you once after I find out it worked and then a last time when I'm just days away from my deathbed-"

"Don't say that!"

"But it's _true_, Jacob!" I insisted. "You won't be able to handle seeing me. When you see me, you'll see my mother and when you look at the bulge, you won't see another me, you'll see what you _thought_ I was. You'll see a monster in the making. Don't try to deny it Jake, you _know_ it's true."

He was silent then. In fact, his silence scared me. When he looked away from me in the direction of the moonlight, I saw his eyes shimmer. I gently lifted a hand and stroked his arm. He looked at me.

"I don't want to lose you." At first he rested his head against my forehead and then wrapped his arms around me. I held him tightly. Suddenly, warm drops of water fell on my shoulder. It was then when I realized that they weren't odd warm water from the sea – they were Jacob's tears.

I'd never seen Jacob cry before and although I'd heard him say 'I don't want to lose you.' Many times, I'd never heard him say it like that – so desperate, so emotionally. I even cried a little. I knew how much this was hurting him and I hated to hurt him but this little pain was saving him from _a lot_ of pain.

"I love you, so much." He whispered.

"I love you too." I told him, "And that's why I'm doing this – so that you _never_ have to lose me. Think of it as a compromise."

He pulled back and looked at me funny, "You have a strange way of showing love."

"I'm strange in a lot of ways, that's just me." I smiled through misty eyes. "Now, I've got you in the water, you're not ignoring me anymore – therefore I have no reason to do anything stupid."

I slid my hand behind his neck and pulled his lips to mine. Straight way I could feel him resisting, but that didn't last long. Every ounce of worry, anger or fear drifted away with the water and we were left in pure contentment.

I got exactly what I wanted from tonight - happiness. Although we'd started out on the rocks, now we were in heaven.

On a few occasions I was reminded of the day before my eighteenth birthday when I had swam in this sea alone with Jacob - things were very different then. Back then, my mind was completely screwed up; I didn't understand what I was thinking or mostly, what I was feeling.

"I'm pretty sure that was illegal." I said as we staggered out of the water. I wanted tonight to take my mind off things and I definitely got what I wanted. Admittedly, the kisses and the touches had gone a little too far.

He shrugged, "Probably- but no one saw anything, I think we're safe. The only witnesses were the fishes and I'm pretty sure they won't rat us out."

I laughed and scooped one of the towels I'd brought off the floor. Wrapping the towel tightly round me I turned to look back at the ocean.

"Okay - I'd better get you home." I heard Jacob say behind me.

"No!" I whined, turning in his direction. "I don't want to leave yet, can't we just stay a little longer - just to dry off a little?"

He looked at me for a while.

"Just ten minutes, okay?" he said, laying out a larger towel in front of a boulder. He sat against the rock and I joined him, sitting in front of him in the 'V' of his legs and resting my head against his chest.

It was so peaceful. The waves were even quieter now, I dared think how late it was. I had coated us in the large towel and, honestly, if I shut my eyes it wouldn't have felt like I was in my bed I was so comfy.

That idea stretched further when I woke up the next morning, still on the beach, still in Jacob's arms.

Crap.

Bella would freak. We'd slept on the beach, with sick hybrid vampires out looking for me.

"Jake!-" I shot up to my feet and gathered the closest clothes. As I pulled clothes on from all directions, I spotted some people walking their dog in the distance.

"Jacob!" I threw some clothes at him and startled him.

"What is it?" he demanded, "Are you alright?"

"No, but we slept here last night and we're not the only ones here anymore." I nudged my head in the direction of the other people. He saw them and quickly dressed.

As we dressed in a panic I couldn't help but start laughing.

"Ness- why are you laughing?" he snapped. "You were only meant to be out for a couple of hours."

"But Jake, think about it, it's kinda funny. Everything that happened last night and look at me- I'm still here, we weren't attacked, we're fine."

He stood still and stated at me. "I'm not getting you - how is that funny?"

"It just is. C'mon Jake, lighten up! Just be a little optimistic for once."

"I think being realistic is sometimes more beneficial. Come on, I need to get you home."

The closer we got to my house, the more I dreaded being home. I could even feel myself sink shyly into my seat. Jacob reached over and held my hand.

"It'll be okay." he assured me.

"Bella is going to eat me alive."

"She _might_ be a little pissed, but don't worry about it. You've got bigger fish to fry."

He was right. It was then I remembered about Nahuel's arrival today and tonight's plans. My stomach turned at the last bit. It wasn't the carrying a dangerous baby part that I was dreading; it was how I needed to get there.

When we reached my house, the front door was open. I saw my family and didn't think much of it - but when I saw Sam in my house along with his pack and Jacob's, I started to panic.

"Sam's here." I stated as we pulled onto the driveway. We left my car and heads started to turn as we walked up to the house.

There was no greeting and only a small smile from Seth, but the others just stared with complete and utter resentment.

It was worse than I thought - I had hoped to just face my mother, not _everyone._

We walked through the door and Jacob shut it behind us.

"You were gone-" I heard Bella as she appeared at Edward's side "-_twelve_ hours longer than you were supposed to be." then her gaze fell on Jacob.

"Jake, you _knew_ I didn't want her out for long. We've been searching Canada and the states around us for hours. Where _else_ would you hunt?"

I didn't answer and Jacob was trying to find the words that wouldn't execute us both.

Bella spoke again, "You _were_ hunting, weren't you?"

I shook my head. "That sort of didn't happen."

"Then why the hell were you out all night?"

"Look Bella-" Jacob cut in. "It was an accident. We fell asleep-"

"Where _were_ you?" Sam suddenly asked.

"The beach." I said. "We were-_ having fun _for an hour and then we fell asleep because we were tired but it wasn't deliberate."

"Renesmee, you haven't done anything for the past god knows how many weeks, you haven't left the house and you weren't even hunting. What could you have done that exhausted you so much?"

My eyes left her gaze then and I looked somewhere else, anywhere else.

"Don't ask." Edward groaned to her.

I think there was something in that which lifted the tension on the room, even of it wasn't something I particularly wanted to discuss, I was thankful for it.

"Well, at least you're both here and alright." said Carlisle. "Nahuel should be here in a couple of hours."

I nodded and my stomach dropped. _Don't be a coward Renesmee_, I thought to myself, _you can do this_.

**Hope you enjoyed it :)**

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	6. Hardest Part

**Okay, hopefully everyone doesn't hate this story still :)**

**Here's the next chapter!**

**Enjoy**

** Hardest Part**

BETWEEN THEN AND THE TIME NAHUEL WAS DUE TO ARRIVE, THE REST OF THE WOLVES left and reformed their circle around the house. Because they would likely pick up Nahuel's scent and not know that it was him, Edward went to stand with them so that he could help detect if it was Nahuel or an intruder.

Everyone else, except from me, was in and out of the house. Claire came over and not long after Abi and Eli decided to visit too. With them being humans, they had no reason to leave me to help guard the house, which was sort of helpful. The four of us were in my room; it made it easier to tolerate the uneven presence of the other members of the household.

"I still can't believe you're going through with this." said Claire, lying back on my bed. I sat tightly crossed legged on a pillow and leant against the headboard, whilst Abi lounged next to me and Eli perched on the edge.

"Claire-" I sighed, "-I don't have any other choice-"

"That's bull, Renesmee." She snapped. "There's always another choice."

"Then feel free to share any bright ideas – the only other option would be for your husband to help protect me for the rest of my life. Do you want that instead?"

"_No_!"

"Then what else to you expect us to do?"

"I don't know! I'm not like you-"

"You don't have to be to have a brain and little imagination-"

"Stop it!" snapped Abi. "Will you two _please_ stop fighting?"

The room went silent then. Claire sat up and sighed and then looked at me with shimmering eyes.

"Renesmee-"she said, her voice shaking. "I've been hoping that you would back out before now, but you're _still_ going through with this." She paused and took a deep breath. "You're my best friend, Renesmee. I don't want to lose you, but you are setting yourself up for a disaster and you know it."

"Claire, _please_-"begged Abi. "She's going through a rough time right now-"

"Abi she will _die_." Claire barked. "That _thing_ will kill her-!"

"That _thing_ just so happens to be exactly like me!"

"Exactly and look what damage _you_ did!"

I managed to control myself to say nothing and to not even give Claire a look that could kill.

Abi was silent at first but soon let out a quiet whimper and looked straight at me.

"You never told me that."

Claire scoffed. "How do you think her mom ended up the way she is?"

"Because she _wanted_ it?" asked Eli.

"No. Because she had a baby with a _vampire_, she had a hybrid, she was pregnant with Renesmee. When she was born, Bella was inches from death if not there already. They had no choice but to turn her. Renesmee was killing her from the inside out and that is exactly what it's going to do to _you_."

"No it's not, Claire-"

"Yes it is! Stop convincing yourself that you'll be alright. You may be strong on the outside Renesmee, but on the inside you're as human as us – get over it."

"Claire-"

"And what if it isn't just a hybrid, Renesmee? – What if it gets both vampire genes? You'll be dead in _days_, not weeks, days. Yeah, I talked to Carlisle, I wanted to know exactly what my reckless best friend was getting herself into this time. Y'know, I thought I'd seen it all from you but clearly, I hadn't. Congratulations Renesmee, you've really outdone yourself this time-"

"Just shut _up_, Claire!" I finally yelled.

Springing from my bed, I left my room and just like I wanted, Claire quickly followed. When I knew I had her attention, I sped to the front door and held it open for her. My heart was racing, my anger fuming and tears threatening in my eyes.

Finally, she joined me at the door, followed by Abi and Eli.

"What are you d-"

"Get out."

She just stared at me, stunned. "W-what?"

"Get out."

Those who _were_ in the house now had started to join us from various rooms, Carlisle being one of them; he wanted to be here when Nahuel arrived.

"Why-?"

"Because I am _sick_ of all this negative crap. I am _sick_ of being told repeatedly that I am going to die. I am _sick _of being called an idiot, not thinking straight, suicidal, 'not knowing what the hell I'm doing' – you name something negative and I'm pretty sure it's been said. So, I'm done. You can either get out on your own or I will physically kick you out Claire, it's up to you but make it snappy – I haven't got all day, in fact, according to you and pretty much everyone else here, I haven't got long _at all_."

Her face was still stunned and the anger that had been on her face in my room wasn't so visible anymore.

"You've never kicked me out of your house before." She said quietly, she stood there with her head slightly down I knew that her tail was in between her legs now.

"Congratulations on your first time of being kicked out of my house, it'll be your last too – don't bother coming back."

We stood there in silence for a long time and I was getting more frustrated by the second. Eventually Claire left, but not before taking a breath and saying:

"You're dead to me." And she slammed the front door behind her. I flinched at the bang but didn't run after her, I didn't even watch as she got in her car and her tires screeched as she sped away.

Everything that I was about to put myself through was finally getting to me, so I said quietly:

"Anyone who feels the same can leave too." I didn't even wait to see who listened, I turned to the stairs – but that hadn't been enough time.

"Running away from me already?" the front door opened and Nahuel's voice filled my ears.

Damn.

When I turned to him, I put on a fake smile.

"Nahuel!" I smiled and threw my arms around him.

"Wow, look at you-"he smiled as I stepped back, "You're _glowing_."

"Not for much longer." Jacob mumbled as he walked through the front door, followed by Edward and his pack. I ignored his comment with great effort and even saw Abi out the corner of my eye give him a warning glare.

"Where's Claire?" asked Quil. "I thought she was here?"

I didn't answer, but luckily Abi did,

"She _was_ here, until her and Renesmee had a little disagreement."

"I think _little_ is an understatement." Eli confirmed.

"What happened?" Quil asked, looking back at me. Again, I didn't answer – so Abi did.

"Claire kept telling Renesmee that she's going to die and just after Renesmee kicked her out she also told her that, quote: "You're dead to me." And then she left and I think Renesmee was about to either scream, cry or kill something but then you guys walked in."

Quil was about to turn to the door, but Jacob grabbed his arm.

"You can deal with her _later_." said Jacob.

"So _you_ can still be with Renesmee, but when Claire has a problem – that's out of the question?"

"The situation with Renesmee and the situation with Claire are _very_ different."

"But Claire's upset-"

"But Renesmee may not have much longer to live."

Nahuel turned to them.

"You talk like that in front of Renesmee?" he asked him, looking highly unimpressed.

"Don't worry," I cut in. "I've heard it so much now that I practically can't hear it anymore."

"That doesn't make it right." he insisted. "I think what you're doing is brave, reckless, but brave."

"To be honest, that's the nicest way anyone's put it to me - so thank you." I smiled. "And thank you for doing this, I know it's a hell of a lot to ask-" Nahuel cut me off with his hands.

"Don't worry about it. The other hybrids aren't like us - they're not as civilized. We can't risk losing you to them, so whatever it takes I will help to the best of my ability to keep the sane hybrids alive."

Carlisle stepped forward then. "It's good to see you Nahuel, how are you?"

"I'm fine, it's good to see you too."

"Could I have a quick word with you? - in my office" he asked, gesturing his hand to the other room. Nahuel nodded and followed his hand.

"So, that's Nahuel?" asked Abi, joining my side.

I sighed "Yup, what do you think?"

"Unsurprisingly attractive." she grinned, "Are they all attractive?"

I smiled and put an arm around her. "You're in my good books now. But how should I know? I've only met one."

I went to sit on one of the couches and hooked my hands together under my leg. I wanted to try to listen to Nahuel and Carlisle's conversation, but there was a part of me that was reluctant to. What if Carlisle knew my survival chances? - What if it was 50:50? What if it was less than that?

I didn't want to die. I was so sure that I wouldn't die.

"Having second thoughts yet?" asked Jacob, sitting on the couch opposite me.

"Jake, just stop it." I snapped. "I'm not having second thoughts and Nahuel is here now so you can stop trying to change my mind - I'm not sending him home."

"Do you hear yourself? You don't know what you're getting yourself into-"

"Y'know, you keep talking about me getting myself killed and that this will probably kill me. If it does then surely you don't want to spend the rest of my short life biting my head off? So either you're being an ass and making the rest of my life miserable by hating me or you do believe that I can survive this and will just hate me until the baby is born."

"No, I'm _trying_ to get you to change your mind-"

"By hating me?"

"Ness, I don't hate you. I could never hate you."

"Then why do I feel like I'm constantly walking on egg shells with you. One moment you're normal the next you're treating me like I'm your worst nightmare. I can't keep bouncing backwards and forwards depending on your mood Jacob. So pick a mood and stick with it."

"I'm doing this because I love you-"

"So you're pushing me _away_ because you love me?"

"I'm not pushing you away." He sighed. "What do I have to do? What do I have to say to you to make you reconsider? Are you going through some kind of motherly maternal phase? – is _that_ what this is about? Cos' if it is we can… we can work something out-"

"Jacob it has _nothing_ to do with hormones. It has _everything_ to do with me trying to live so that I don't have to watch my back everywhere I go. I'm trying to stop everyone having to focus their attention round me for the rest of my life as they protect me. I'm trying to stop someone like _you_ from doing something stupid if I was found and taken by the hybrids. I'm risking one life to save many rather than risking many lives to save one. And yes, I _do_ hear myself and it sounds perfectly logical. I know that I don't have the greatest reputation with bright ideas but I _do_ know what I'm doing. I was once that hybrid inside my mother, I know how it will think, I _know_ what I'm doing." I stood up and went to sit next to him.

"But a little support would be nice, I've had barely any."

After a few minutes he looked me straight in the eyes and sighed.

"Fine, I won't try to change your mind anymore on one condition."

"We're doing conditions now?" I grinned - he didn't smile, so I pulled a straight face again. I sighed, "Alright."

"As soon as it starts to hurt you, you say nothing and we kill it-"

"Jake, I don't think-"

"I won't let it hurt you. If you're right and it turns out to not be that bad then you shouldn't have anything to worry about." He grinned then, but my face stayed straight, my lips even saddened a little. "Not so cocky now, are you?"

"Fine, if it shows harm then you can do whatever you want." I sighed "Deal.". Jacob put his arm around me and we leant back, nestling into the cushions. I rested my forehead against his chin and held onto him. He hadn't held me that tightly since the night before but it was the first time in ages since he'd held me like that without feeling as if he had to. It was genuine this time and it sent warm buzz through me, coated in guilt.

Tonight, damn it.

I sat in my room with Jacob and watched as the afternoon stretched out and then whilst twilight came and died in night. Nahuel and I would have the house to ourselves for tonight. My family were taking Annabel hunting and the wolves were doing their general circling around the house. As night grew, so did the sick feeling in my stomach. It had gotten to the point where I started trembling. Unfortunately, my trembling didn't go unnoticed by Jacob.

"Are you _cold_?" he asked, confused as to why I should be cold considering I'd been in his arms the last god knows how many hours.

I shook my head. "No, I'm just a little nervous about tonight. I wish I didn't have to do this with Nahuel, I feel guiltier about sleeping with him than what I did by nearly marrying Leonardo." And ain't that the truth! I'd never felt so much guilt before in my life.

"Would it make you feel better if I told you that I don't mind?" he asked.

"Only if I knew you meant it."

"Oh, I can't help you then." He chuckled. I rested my head on his chest.

"Just make sure you're not within hearing distance. It would reassure me that you're not listening in."

"Why the hell would I listen?"

"I don't know - some sick fascination?"

"I won't listen in, don't worry. But I'll be over first thing in the morning, is that alright for you?"

"That's perfect and Jacob-?"

"Mm?"

"I'm so, so, truly, deeply, eternally sorry for everything that happens tonight. You know that don't you?"

He kissed my head. "I know. Just do me one favor? – try not to enjoy it too much. Annabel was telling me about hybrid vampire chemicals and stuff."

"What chemicals?"

He sighed, already wishing he hadn't said anything. "Apparently there's some kind of genetic chemical stuff that causes some kind of _magnetism_ between two hybrid vampires. I don't know – I asked her to stop talking. She was trying to reassure me into thinking that you wouldn't be in discomfort or anything."

"I see." I could hear my family preparing themselves to leave downstairs. "Well, don't worry. I can assure you that I won't enjoy myself at all." No offence to Nahuel.

"Great." Jacob sighed and stood up, I stood with him. "I'd better leave you two in pea-" he couldn't even finish his sentence he disagreed with the whole thing too much. "One other little favor – if he hurts you, make him stop. Don't wait it out, get him away from you. Okay?"

"Jacob don't worry-"I put my hands to his face. "This time in an hour we'll be done and be watching TV whilst drinking a mug of O-Negative. Feel better?"

"Only a little." And he pulled me in for a long, passionate kiss. Admittedly the 'being done in an hour' and 'O-Negative' stuff was more or less reassurance for me. In reality, it would probably take me the next hour to get the courage to leave the bathroom.

I had hoped that the kiss would help me, but it made me feel worse. But as long as it helped Jacob, that was all that mattered to me. I didn't care what I would feel.

After a few minutes, I led Jacob downstairs where he was meant to leave with my family and then rejoin his pack about a mile or so away from the house. Nahuel was perched on the edge of a couch in the living room whilst everyone was stood and ready. Ryan and Annabel were down there as well, waiting. Ryan would separate from Annabel with Jake and join the wolves.

"We'll be back in the morning." Carlisle told me as the others left. "Good luck." And they were all gone.

And so the nauseous feeling came back. Nahuel came to me from behind and put a hand on my back.

"I won't be offended if you've changed your mind." He assured me. "But if you haven't, I promise you – and I promised your wolf- that I'll try and make sure that you don't wake up tomorrow morning paralyzed in guilt. Tonight isn't about emotions or expressing feelings, it's purely a favor and trying to save your life."

"It's ironic, isn't it?" I scoffed. "That to save my life, I have to possibly lose my life."

"It is excruciatingly ironic." he admitted. "But I know this is a difficult decision to make. Just so you know, tonight I will bend to your will. Whatever makes you comfortable, I don't want this to cause you any discomfort."

"Thank you, that's surprisingly reassuring. But, no offense, I just want to get this part over with."

He held his hands up, "Completely understood - please, lead the way."

I was almost stunned by how good he was being about this. A lot of the things I was requesting _I_ would have generally taken offensively - but not Nahuel.

I did what he asked and led him to my room.

"It's probably changed a bit since you were last here." I told him as I walked into the room. It was pitch black now so I hurried over to my night stand and flicked the small light on. As Nahuel looked around to admire my room, so did I. It was then I realize how bland my walls were. I didn't posses any framed photos and hadn't even hung any of my own paintings up.

"It's a lot less girly than what I was expecting." he admitted, looking into my dark bathroom "As well as a lot less vamp."

I snorted and walked over to him.

"Were you expecting a double pink coffin with fluffy lining?" I asked. "I don't sleep alone y'know."

He laughed. "I gathered that. I was just expecting maybe a cuddly toy, some makeup and the odd poster of an overrated celebrity, that's all."

"Not really my thing, I prefer simplicity."

He turned to me. "Ironic for someone with such character." I noticed how he was starting to get uncomfortably close.

I drew a sharp breath. "Is it okay if I just have a few moments?"

"Of course. Take your time." he smiled charmingly and walked past me to my bed.

I didn't linger.

I shut myself in my bathroom and leant against the door taking in deep breaths. I started to hyperventilate.

I couldn't do it.

For a short moment it seemed like maybe it wouldn't be too bad, but then Nahuel had to make that quick move which eliminated all the confidence I'd had. I stumbled over to the sink and dipped my head whilst flicking on the light and waiting for the churning in my stomach to go away.

I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a faint green flash across my face.

"Breathe." I whispered to myself. "_Breathe_."

In a panic I turned the cold tap on and rinsed my clammy hands under the cool water. My hands were shaking like crazy and I yanked them away from the water. In the mirror I checked to see if my face was now a sick green – it wasn't, but my bottom lip was quivering.

I turned to look at myself in the full length mirror behind my door - my knees were shaking too. My legs and arms wouldn't stop shaking any time soon, I knew _that_ much. So, I had no other choice than to carry on.

Gently, I stripped down. I had never removed my clothes so nervously before.

Minutes later, I stood naked in front of the mirror with shaking bare legs. I turned to face the mirror at my sink again and dipped my head towards the bowl.

"Don't throw up, Renesmee." I whined quietly. Looking at the full length mirror out the corner of my eye I saw the bite scar on the back of my leg that I got from Lauren a year ago and various other bite wounds that were to follow after.

When I properly looked at it, I stopped shaking.

At the time I got that scar, I was showing my weaker side, I had given in to my weakness.

My biggest weakness was Jacob. It was because of Jacob that I was scared right now, I was scared of how much I was hurting him. But every time I gave in to my weakness, things ended badly.

When Lauren threatened to hurt Jacob, I gave in and nearly lost my arm.

When Lauren implied that Jacob was dead, I gave in and nearly lost my life.

Now when I was about to betray Jacob, if I gave in both Jacob and I could lose our lives. We could die trying to save each other from the consequence of tonight not happening.

I _had_ to do this.

I stood away from the sink and opened the bathroom door, confidently walking out with my bare body. Nahuel was only semi naked. He was sat, perched on the edge of my bed. When he saw me he stood up and was quickly taken aback by my lack of clothing.

"Wow, I wasn't expecting you to come out like _this_." He admitted.

"I told you I wanted to get this over with and that's exactly what I'm doing." I was in front of him in a fraction of a second and was urging him to do the same.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." I laughed dryly. Nahuel held my chin and lifted it to him.

"Are you _sure_?" he asked. When he said that, I was immediately reminded of my first time with Jacob. He asked me that exact same question. Of course, then I had no doubts in my mind of what I wanted, there was no guilt, no betrayal. Life was sweet then, even if I had nearly lost my arm an hour before.

"I _have_ to do this." I told him and after that, everything regretfully fell into place.

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	7. Breaking Point

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**Breaking Point **

I WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING IN PAIN, NOT BECAUSE NAHUEL HAD HURT ME OR ANYTHING the night before – it was my heart; it was aching.

A little while after we were underway, I found myself clinging to the bed sheets and upon my hand I saw my engagement ring twinkling in the moonlight. I started to cry.

_ For better, for worse_

_To love, to cherish_

_Through sickness and in health_

All those vows were echoing through my head, along with my argument, my excuse:

"_I'm doing this so that I never have to leave you, so that I can stay with you and love you, forever._" That was the only thing that didn't make me change my mind, it was the only reason I stayed there underneath Nahuel until the very end.

But when I woke, Nahuel was gone and I had never been so grateful because it was the first time in my life where I had broken down and cried in such pain.

Through the tears I dressed myself in my PJs, trying to erase any evidence and memory of last night. Oh how I wished Leonardo was here right now, his gift couldn't have been more useful.

After a few minutes I managed to calm my tears and I was dressed. Slowly, I shuffled off my bed and walked gingerly to my bathroom.

In the mirror, I saw a completely different girl from what I saw yesterday. My face was plastered with guilt, shame and utmost pain. Red blotches stained my cheeks and the line of my jaw was wet. Turning on the cold tap, I washed my hands about three times and then splashed my face with cold water. The tips of my hair got wet from the splashes and some parts were even dripping.

I walked over to my window when a ray of sun shone through. My toes glistened in the sun, then my feet, then my legs and eventually I could feel the sunrays beaming off my face. I touched the window with my finger tips and brushed downwards.

"How're you feelin'?" I heard Jacob ask behind me. I flinched and automatically wanted to turn, but I hesitated.

"Fine." I sniffed – which was a total lie. I couldn't remember a time I'd ever felt so bad. He didn't answer, but he came closer.

Jacob reached around me and found my chin; he pulled my chin round to face him. The tears started to fall again at his touch. I couldn't look at him, I was too ashamed of myself to look into his eyes.

"Look at me." He said, tilting my chin. I looked anywhere but him, even when his face was the central view.

"Ness- look at me." He repeated. This time, I obliged and looked at him.

"Don't cry, you don't need to cry." He insisted.

"Jake, I-I've never been in so much pain." I confessed and dropped my head into his chest. I had barely been against him for a second when he pulled me out of him again.

"What do you mean you're in pain?" he demanded. "Did he hurt you?" I shook my head.

"N-no." I stuttered. "I'm in pain because of what I've done to _you_. You were right – I shouldn't have done this. What was I _thinking_?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa – I said that I didn't want you to do something that would _kill_ you. I never said anything about this cos', honestly, I would rather this over what happens next."

"That doesn't make me any less of a horrible person. I didn't realise I would feel _this_ bad."

He sighed, "Well, put it this way – It's over now. If it doesn't work then it doesn't work-"

"We'll just have to find another way to knock me up." I said quietly.

"_What_?" he snapped. "Ness, I meant that if it doesn't work then we abandon the idea completely."

"I know exactly what you meant, Jake-"

"You're just completely disregarding any advice I give you on this-"

"But it's _not_ advice, Jacob. They're _demands_. You've never advised me not to do it, you've _told_ me not to."

I walked past him back into my bedroom.

"But-" I continued. "Nahuel's gone, which _does_ help me a lot."

Jacob soon followed me. "He's just downstairs, he's not gone completely."

I turned to him. "What? Why is he still here-?"

"You thought he would just do what needed to be done and then disappear into the night?" Jacob grinned. "As much as I wished he would, he won't be leaving for a while."

"Why?"

"He wants to see if it worked first and then he just wants to stay… to make sure you're okay." He paused. "Of course you're _not_ going to be okay-"

"_Jacob_-"

"-_But_," he continued. "It's his kid so I guess I can understand why he wants to stay."

"Don't call it that." I told him."

"What?"

"Don't call it his kid-"

"Sorry – _baby_-"

"No, not 'baby' either. I don't want to think of it like its parents are definite."

He didn't even need to say anything to show he was confused. Admittedly, what I was thinking _was_ confusing but I wanted this entire situation to be as uncomplicated as possible and I felt that by just seeing the baby as a mission and a solution rather than just a little miracle – it would make things easier.

"What I mean is that I want this whole thing to be as uncomplicated as it can be. Think about it Jake, if I wanted a baby just for the sake of being a mother – do you honestly think I would ask _Nahuel_ to come all the way here? This baby is a _mission_. I hate to see it like that but it's true, This baby is meant to save my life not _become_ my life. Hopefully, if it works, it'll be a girl – she'll grow up to be healthy and strong and then…"

"Then she'll be gone. It'll be as if she never even existed." I could hear the sarcastic support in his voice. Then he laughed darkly, "Is that what you really want? To live with the guilt of giving not only a child away but your own – is that really what you think is right?"

"Jacob, none of this is right. Nothing seems to be right, nothing in _my life_ is right – but I accept it for what it is. Think of it this way – either she goes, a girl who you couldn't care less about goes or I go. You promised you wouldn't keep trying to change my mind because it's upsetting me the more you do – right now you're going back on that promise." I went to sit on my bed.

"I don't like this Jake. I don't like this anymore than you do but it's the only way. Either I have this child and give it away when it comes of age or I become a vampire."

"What?"

"They won't want me if I'm a vampire, a _pure_ vampire – they won't want me because I'll be infertile and I'll be their enemy. But I don't want to be turned. And that's something I want to talk to you about as well." I stood up, slowly walked over to him and held both his hands in mine.

"If everything does go _bad_." I began. "If I do die either before or after the birth – I want you to do something for me, _please_."

He was silent for a long moment before he answered. "What?"

"Leave me-"

"_What_?"

"I want you to do nothing. Don't let them put venom anywhere near me – I love my family, Jacob, you know how much I love them. But I don't want to be _just_ like them. I mean, I've slipped past death too many times – I can't keep doing it. Whatever will be will be, Jake and if I'm _meant_ to die then it'll happen same as if I'm _meant_ to survive, it'll happen."

He shook his head and took his hands out of mine, walking away.

"No-"

"Jacob, please-"

"No. I won't let you die when there's a chance you can survive."

"But I'll be dead anyway and I know that you won't treat me the same if I'm like that-"

"Of course I will - I'll still love you. It won't change-"

"Jake, stop-" I interrupted him. "If I become a vampire, you won't treat me the same. I won't be fragile, I won't sleep, I won't breathe, I won't blush, and you won't hear my heart beating anymore." I felt my eyes starting to well up. "I won't be the real Renesmee that you love. Just please let be me. If I die, I die - just like any other person. Please Jacob; this will be the last thing I ask of you. If this takes my life, let me rest in peace."

He was quiet for a long time before he finally promised he wouldn't let me be changed. But deep down, I knew that if I died he would try everything to get me back - even changing me. He also accepted that if I woke up after death with a busted heart and blood red eyes I would be extremely pissed.

It would be a price we both had to pay.

I went downstairs not long after dressing to be bombarded with "Are you alright?"s and "How are you feeling?"s. Admittedly, their questions and fussing were only making me feel worse. Nahuel was the last one to approach me, but his attitude, however similar, was very different to the others'.

"Good morning," he half smiled. "I trust you're feeling alright otherwise you'd still be in bed, or at least wouldn't be walking well."

I managed to pick up the small smugness in his remark, but tried hard to brush it away.

"Yes, I'm fine, I'm fine – look at me, I'm fine. Now we can just go about our normal lives whilst they're still normal. I think we'd better make the most of it."

"Renesmee, this i_sn't_ going to be as easy as you think." Bella insisted. I suppose it would have been stupid to argue with her of all people, but I was confident in what I was doing and had a ounce of positivity left in my veins – that positivity was going to last me the next month through the toughest time of my life.

"Mom, I have to do this. Unless anyone has come up with a better idea-?"

Alice stepped forward, "Maybe if you just give it some time, we can work something-"

"We don't _have_ time Alice!" I snapped, making her jump. "I'm sorry, but we don't. This is the only plan we've got."

Over the next week I found my sleeping patterns obscured. I started having more naps on the couch and longer sleep in bed, I barely saw the light of day. But then again I barely saw the dark of night either.

It was nearly a week since my night with Nahuel when I got my very first case of morning sickness. I had my head in the toilet bowl for nearly an hour with Esme holding my hair and Bella rubbing my back. That only resulted in me returning to bed and not leaving until six at night.

Although the vomiting really took a lot out of me, the high dose of donated blood was keeping me relatively strong. The desperately wanted support was finally starting to roll in now that my family could see this was really happening. One night, my temperature was particularly high and I fell asleep in Bella's arms with her gently stroking my hairline – her ice cool skin helped send me to sleep. I woke the following morning to Edward and Rosalie having joined her. I felt like a child all over again.

Another morning I woke to Nahuel kneeling at my side. He'd been up to bring my morning dose of blood for me and had decided to stay and wait for me to wake. He said that I'd been tossing and turning a lot in my sleep and whimpering from now and again too. Then he gently stroked my cheek with his forefinger. It was then I could clearly tell he was starting to worry about me, there was a certain fear whimpering in his eyes.

And as for Jacob – well, I hadn't seen him all week. But he'd been keeping track of me – like that was meant to make me feel better. Obviously when he came I was either asleep on the couch or in my room – he didn't come to see me or wait until I woke. But Bella would tell me when he came and that he was asking how I was. I didn't know how they responded to that question – I was never told.

Did they tell him what their predicted chances were for me judging by how I'd been so far?

Did they even know?

"He hates me, doesn't he?" I asked Bella as I lay in her arms like it was a nightly tradition. She rested her cheek on my head and stroked my arm.

"Renesmee, I don't understand how you can say things like that." She insisted. "Of _course_ he doesn't hate you, he could never do anything but love you-"

"Then why does he refuse to see me?"

"He doesn't _refuse_ to see you."

"Fine then, he doesn't _want_ to see me. Mom _tell_ me – what's he like when you see him? He only speaks to you or Carlisle right?"

When it came to discussing me, Jacob would only speak to Bella or Carlisle seeing as Bella spent a majority of the time with me and Carlisle was my doctor. As far as he was concerned no one else knew as well as Bella as to what I was like _now_ and as well as what I _would_ be as Carlisle.

"He's- He's _Jacob_. What do you expect me to say?"

"I expect you to tell me the truth. You're a terrible liar, mom."

I felt her smile and she kissed my head. "Honestly, it's been a long time since I've seen him like this. So subdued, so miserable-"

"And it's all my fault." I whispered.

"You told me not to lie to you, so yes, it is."

My eyes started to water as I pressed my cheek deeper into her chest. "I miss Jacob, mom. I miss him so much."

She sighed, "I never thought I'd hear you say that again."

"Neither did I." I sunk my hands under the cover and brushed my slightly swollen stomach. I held my hands against it.

We didn't need a pregnancy test to know it had worked.

It seemed that I couldn't wake in an empty room these days. When I woke the next morning, I knew someone was there with me before I'd even opened my eyes. I inhaled deeply and I smelt him.

Jacob.

My eyes flew open and my nose hadn't deceived me, there he was sitting at my side, watching me. Naturally, the biggest smile grew on my face. He smiled in return but it was more forced that I would have wanted. There were dark rings under his eyes, but he was probably still a damn sight better than what I looked.

"Hi." I croaked. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Surprise." He leant forward and took one on my hands. "Would you be offended if I said you look pretty rough?"

"It would be a low side. But on the bright side, I've gone up two bra sizes."

He grinned, "I can see that."

I laughed quietly and then turned serious. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you are."

"On your own accord or did Bella force you at gun point?"

His smile widened slightly. "What would make you think I was _forced_?"

"Maybe because I was crying to her last night about how much I missed you?" I shrugged, "Just a guess."

He sighed and crouched his neck. "Alright so she _did_ mention that you were a little upset about my lack of being here-"

"So it _was_ a gun point?"

"I didn't realize it had upset you that much."

I sighed and held his face. "Let's not talk about it. So, what have you been filling your days with?"

"Protecting you, same old same old, just not as direct as usual."

"Anything?" I asked, he shook his head.

"Nothing." He gently stroked my hand with his thumb. Then he looked at me with new eyes, pained eyes. "Why are you doing this to yourself-?"

"Jacob, don't start-"

"_What_?" he shot up. "You expect me to sit here and act as if nothing is happening; act as if _nothing_ is going on?"

He reached down and removed the bed sheet to show my little swollen stomach, now turning a slight blue color in places.

"It's already growing." He growled through clenched teeth. "It's already on its path of destruction-"

"-_Hey_!" I interrupted him, "Don't talk about it like that."

"Why not? That's exactly what its doing-"

"_Jacob_, _I_ was that baby once or perhaps you don't remember? It does what it needs to do to survive, just like what you would do and just like what _I_ did and what I'm doing now." I insisted. "Just please stop talking about it like it's some kind of demon, because you're sort of offending me when you say that. I was like this child once-"

"Yeah and look what happened." There was a long pause after that. I raised an eyebrow.

"_Look what happened_?" I repeated, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean look at what happened to Bella-"

"She was turned, but she _wanted_ to be turned-"

"_Exactly_, you won't let venom anywhere near you but I think it's pretty clear Ness that death is your only way out of this unless you quit whilst you're ahead."

"Jacob I am _not_ aborting my only chance of surviving-"

"If its gonna _kill_ you then what was the point in the first place? You're depending your survival on something that will break you apart – a little ironic isn't it? If you die then… then what's the point in everything we've been through, everything that we've got ahead of us? A few months ago you agreed to spend forever with me – or was it just a thing of the moment?"

"Jacob I'm _not_ going to die-"

"Yes you are!" he snapped, I bit my tongue. "When will you get it into your head that you're _not_ invincible? You have survived this far on pure luck. During your short life you have done some of the stupidest things I have ever seen but you still skim past death. I don't know how the hell you do it Renesmee, but you are _not_ indestructible, you're end will come and by doing this you're just bringing it closer-"

"Jacob just go." He had been yelling at me and my words were so quiet, but he stopped like I had screamed them at him. He was silent for a moment.

"What?" he asked, quietly.

I looked at him with misty eyes, "Goodbye Jacob."

As he stared at me in disbelief, there was an icy pain in his dark eyes that I had never seen before. What I was doing right now was probably just a thing of the moment, but I needed Jacob to be away from me now. I was thrilled to see him at first, but now I just wanted him anywhere but with me.

After a long silence, he stormed away and slammed my bedroom door behind him so hard that it shook my bed.

I started to cry and the thing moved inside me. But it wasn't a thing, it was a baby.

Jacob was gone. And this time, he was gone for good.

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	8. The Corpse

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**P.S. The next couple of chapters are in Claire's POV**

**The Corpse  
****_Claire_**

I WAS ALONE IN THIS HOUSE FOR YET ANOTHER DAY. QUIL WAS ALWAYS OUT protecting the Cullens' house and as newlyweds there wasn't that much to be done. I worked around the house when I wasn't at work but that still didn't satisfy my desperate need to do something.

I considered visiting my parents but with Quil away it had made me sort of miserable and I didn't want my mom seeing me like this so shortly after the wedding. She'd tell me that we got married too early or that she thought it was a bad idea – my typical mother.

Normally, when there was nothing to do I would visit Renesmee – but I couldn't do that anymore. Jeez, the girl was probably dead by now. It was that sort of cold and bitter thought that brought tears to my eyes.

She was my best friend and she was going to kill herself trying to save herself and she was the only person who didn't see that. I hated to think how her parents were feeling, and her family and Jacob… oh Jacob. He must have been working so hard _every day_ to get her to reconsider – but Renesmee was extremely stubborn and she was on some sort of mission now that she wouldn't stop until she couldn't do it anymore. Until she was dead, in other words.

It had been nearly three weeks since I'd last seen Renesmee and I always feel guilty for my last words to her being: "You're dead to me." – But when I remember why I said it in the first place, I don't feel so bad anymore. I loved that girl like she was my sister but sometimes I just wish she didn't get away with murder all the time, of course her 'gift' helped her out a lot of the time but that didn't make anything right.

I always wondered what the hell her parents were thinking. I understood that Renesmee was nineteen now, she could do whatever she wanted and it was her body, therefore it was her decision. But how could they let her do something like this to herself, already knowing well what her end would be if she did this?

I didn't even know what condition she was in – I dared call her. After what I said to her a few weeks ago she probably wouldn't even answer the phone let alone reply to a text. And I couldn't go and see her; she wouldn't want to see me anyway. I was just another person who would tell her she was wrong and naïve – like she needed to be told anymore.

It was getting late and I concluded my day with a small glass of wine and sitting on the counter, looking out the kitchen window to the forest.

Alone again, naturally. So far married life was swell, we came back from Utah for a couple of normal weeks and then everything changed. Unsurprisingly, it was Renesmee's doing. I could swear that whenever something isn't right in my life it always has some connection to Renesmee.

A song I didn't recognise played quietly on the radio; there were only a few drops of wine left at the bottom of the glass. When the glass was empty I would call it a day and go upstairs to return to an empty bed and sleep alone, _again_.

I finished the glass just as the song finished and I switched off the radio before washing the glass. Drying the glass, I continued to look out the window.

_Knock, knock_.

I flinched at the sound of the front door. Then I looked at the clock on the radio – it was just gone eleven. Who would be here at _this_ time of night?

I walked casually yet cautiously towards the door and opened it.

"_Bella_?" I was shocked to see Renesmee's mother standing on my doorstep, what was she-? Uh oh.

"Hi Claire – can I come in?" she asked, I nodded and opened the door wider for her. As she stepped in I expected her to smell like some kind of flower like she always did to me, but she didn't this time. There was a stench of blood and vomit that radiated off her as she walked past me.

"Um, can I get you anything to dri-"stupid question Claire, try again. "- Do you want to sit down?"

She shook her head and hugged her arms. "No, I need to make this quick."

"Okay." The two of us stood awkwardly in the hallway for a while, wordless. "Bella – I need you to tell me something first. Is she?"

She shook her head. "No, not yet anyway. But Claire, that's why I'm here. Did you hear about Renesmee and… Jake?"

My stomach dropped at the tone in her voice. "No, I haven't heard anything. No one's come to give me the four-one-one. Why?"

"They broke up."

"_What_?" I was expecting repetitive arguing and distress and tears and tantrums but not an _actual_ break up. How could they? They couldn't live without each other.

"It happened a couple of weeks ago, when Renesmee was just developing-"

"So it's official? They're not together anymore?"

"Jake thought it would be better for her if he wasn't there during this-"

"But Bella that's no reason for him to break up with her-"

"Claire," she interrupted me, "She broke up with _him_."

_That_ I definitely wasn't expecting. She broke up with _him_? Her Jacob? The one she spent fifteen years crying over, aching over?

"But they were like _inseparable_… how could they break up? They fought through everything together – thick and thin."

"I know, but Jacob is convinced its best for her."

"Shows what he knows." I scoffed.

"Exactly, but it gets worse." She sighed. "Renesmee isn't taking as kindly to the break up as she expected herself to."

"What do you mean?"

"She's gone into a kind of phase, Claire. She's spent the last two weeks shut up in her room and won't come out. She took ten blood bags with her whilst she could support herself and she even took some food then she went to her room – and we haven't seen her since."

"Then _why_ don't you barge in there and take her? It's not as if you're not strong enough to break her door down-"

"She's using her gift against us. Every time we try, she pushes us away. She's not stupid Claire; she knows that she can have the upper hand in any given situation.

I sighed. "_Oh Renesmee_, what have you done this time?" but then I looked back at Bella. "And so you're here because?"

"Because maybe she just needs a shoulder to cry on or something, we don't know. Maybe she'll react better to her best friend than to her parents or her family."

"I'm not her best friend anymore Bella, you know what happened the last time I saw her-"

"Claire I'm _begging_ you." She stepped forward and grasped my arms. "_Please_, I love her, She's my daughter and I just want my daughter back."

"We've been through this before Bella, you know what she wants, you _know_ what she needs – she needs Jacob. I'm not going to be able to help because believe it or not I'm _not_ Jacob."

"Just _try_." She pleaded. "If it doesn't work then it doesn't work – what's the worst that can happen?"

"She can make me do something horrible to myself before sending me away with a limb missing?"

"Renesmee would never make you do that. Please Claire, I've never asked you to do anything before and all I ask now is that you _try_ to help my daughter. Edward can't hear her thoughts anymore which means she's either still in a phase or she's dead. I _need_ to know. I love my daughter more than anything-"

"Then why the hell did you let her do something that will kill her?"

"Because I had faith in her."

"_Had_?"

She sighed and looked away from me, "I didn't think the life around her would do more damage than the life inside her. I had hoped that everyone would eventually accept her decision and just support her, but it's turned horrible and now my daughter could be dead. Not because of her decision but because of others' decisions."

"You mean _Jacob's_ decision?"

"If she's dead Claire. If Edward can't hear her because she's dead, because of what Jacob did then- then-"

"Okay, Bella – I'll come. You're starting to worry me now. I'll come and see what the damage is, if you _really_ believe that I can make a difference-"

"I really do, Claire."

As we pulled up outside the Cullens' house I suddenly felt sick. There was definitely a different vibe even outside the house and it wasn't a good one. Bella walked up the porch steps ahead of me and opened the front door.

"Claire," Esme was the first person I saw who welcomed me with open arms. "It's so good to see you, _thank you_ for coming."

This family wasn't the Cullens; they were lookalikes with everlasting mourning on their faces. There was so much tragedy in the air that I just wanted to leave right there and then. I wanted to run, never looking back and never returning – but this was for Renesmee. I needed to forget my anger with her to try and help her. Right now, her family couldn't do anything for her, I had to try if I wanted to sleep with a clear conscience.

"It's alright. I need to get out of the house."

Esme titled her head sympathetically. "I know, I'm sorry. This really wasn't how you must have planned married life." – it was such a stupid thing to say. Here I was complaining about not seeing my husband to a woman who was about to lose her only grandchild. Maybe I should just stop talking.

"So," I continued, "She's in her room?"

Bella nodded, "You know where it is."

I did and I was dreading being there so much that I wished I didn't know the way. But I left them.

Nahuel was sitting on the stairs, his head in his hands but he quickly moved for me to pass. I wanted to say something to him so badly, I wanted to reassure him but sort of blame him at the same time but he was going through enough as it was so I kept my mouth shut.

The walk to Renesmee's room had never been so sick making before. I could see the door to her room down the hall at the top of the stairs. Shut.

I took in a deep breath and walked towards the room, slowly. Maybe if she didn't hear me she wouldn't turn me away. I could sense her family waiting anxiously downstairs, _that_ was how bad the atmosphere was in this house.

I reached her door and had yet to feel the need to leave her. I forgot to ask the others how far they got before she turned them away. Did they get this far? Did she stop them at the stairs? Or did she do it when they tried to walk in?

Well, now I would find out.

Slowly, I held the door knob and waited for a moment. Nothing.

I turned it and it surprisingly wasn't locked. Still nothing.

I slowly stepped in and was hit with a repulsive stench that made me start to gag. It smelt like something had died in there. Her room was dark except from the low moon rays that shone onto her carpet on the other side of the room. Near her window, where the rays shone I saw lots of blood stains on the floor.

Blood bag leakage? – I hoped so.

I stepped further through the door and saw the top of her head on the other side of her bed. She was sitting on the floor near the window leant against her bed, initially enjoying the view out her window. I could only see the top of her head, covered by hair.

The stench in her room was worse than the smell of Bella, I had to hide my nose in my jacket to ease the smell. It helped, but it wasn't brilliant.

"Renesmee?" I risked calling her. Did she even know I was here?

I walked closer. Goosebumps started to rise on my skin; it was so creepy being in here. The closer I moved towards her, the stronger the stench was.

I was half way past her bed when I stopped and examined her from this view. I could see more than just her matted hair. Her head was drooped to one side, her eyes were open, and that was all I could make out.

Had she not seen my movement?

_Please don't be dead Renesmee_, I begged. _Please_ _don't be_.

The suspense was killing me, so I walked forward and turned to her face on.

I wanted to throw up then; my vomit could add to the puddle of her own that she was slouched in. The food Bella had told me about was scattered around her, some eaten, and some untouched, but all rotting. The blood bags were all empty, but I didn't know how much of it had made it to her stomach and stayed there.

Her eyes were open, staring vacantly out the window. Her mouth hung open slightly with vomit mixed with blood and regurgitated clumps of food smeared across her face. Vomit had matted her hair. Blood spilled down her chest, under her shirt and over, drawing a bloody line over the large bulge where her most likely dead baby nested.

Her hands were bloody and had clearly tried to wipe away the bloody vomit at one point, but now they were drooped lifelessly at her side.

"Oh my G- CARLISLE!" I had never screamed for someone so much before but I didn't want to touch her to check for a pulse. Within a split second, Carlisle was in the room followed by Bella and Edward and the rest of her family.

"Renesmee?" Bella called for her daughter but she wouldn't reply. It was heartbreaking, watching her. Bella couldn't cry but she used every other emotion in her body as she tried to get to her little girl.

Edward knew she would try to grab Renesmee, she would cradle her like she was a child with a cold – so he grabbed her and held her tightly.

"Renesmee!" she cried as Carlisle picked up the corpse. He carried her past her parents and I had never seen so much pain in someone eyes before.

Everyone followed Carlisle and Renesmee's body out the room. I was left, standing in her dark bedroom, in a puddle of my best friend's bloody vomit with the scaring image of Renesmee in my mind.

I would never forget her face.

Beautiful, stunningly flawless, rose cheeks, big brown eyes.

Skeleton-like, white, bloody, dead, big vacant eyes.

Two faces; one I wanted to remember, one I knew I'd never forget.

After a few minutes, I left the room and ran as fast as I could to Carlisle's office. Esme, Nahuel and Jasper were stood outside the closed doors.

"She's still alive." Said Esme, "But her pulse is weak. Carlisle isn't sure she'll make it."

I turned to her with tears threatening. "Esme, I am so,_ so_ sorry. I wish there was something I could do-"

"Sweetheart, you got into her room. She didn't turn you away. If you hadn't come, she'd still be in there, alone, dying."

"But you could've got in, she wasn't controlling you anymore-"

"She wasn't controlling _you_." said Jasper. "When you screamed for Carlisle she let her guard down, she must have realised with the little conscious mind she has that things were getting serious now. She realised that we weren't there to make her change her mind, or to lecture her, we were there to try and keep her alive."

Something clicked in my mind and I reached into my pocket to grab my cell phone.

"What are you doing?" asked Esme, mortified as I raised the camera to Renesmee.

"I think someone needs to see this." I told her as the shutter sounded. Then I looked at her, "I'll be right back." And I left them and headed out the front door into the forest.

I knew I probably shouldn't have gone into the forest alone, but I didn't feel like I was alone. The wolves were all around me, they were just hiding. But that was okay; I only needed to speak to one of them.

When I was far enough in the forest I stopped.

"Jacob!" I called. "Jacob I know you're out here. I need to talk to you, NOW!" pure anger rolled in my voice.

After a few seconds, the wolves appeared in groups at a time, in their human forms. They had all heard me and they all seemed to find the anger in my voice worth nosing into. I saw Quil and immediately wanted to just forget about everything and go to him, but I couldn't I _needed_ to speak to Jacob.

"Is everything alright?" Quil asked me, I looked at him and as I shook my head, Jacob joined us.

"Claire you shouldn't be out here." He told me. "It's not safe for-"

"Cut the crap Jacob. I'm not here to discuss with you what is and isn't safe for someone like _me_."

"Then why _are_ you here?"

"I'm here to ask you what the hell you were thinking when you decided it would be a good idea to break up with Renesmee?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "So you're here to complain too, huh?"

I didn't know what came over me, but the tone in his voice provoked me to slap him as hard as I could. I wanted to punch him, but I knew my slaps were better.

Everyone around us flinched.

"Okay, I didn't see that coming." He said, turning his red cheek in my direction.

"Why are you being such a jerk?"

"Am I being a jerk? Sorry but his girlfriend trying to kill herself sometimes does that to a guy."

"Jacob, she loved you-"

"Then why the hell did she send me away?"

"Because you were stressing her out. She had enough grief from everyone else; she didn't need it from you too. But might I add," I continued. "Congratulations."

"For what?"

"For _killing_ her." I spat.

Jacob went silent.

"W-what?"

I didn't answer; instead I picked up my phone and showed him the photo I'd taken of Renesmee before I left.

"_That's_ what you've done to her, Jacob. You have no idea what I've seen today you have _no idea_ what I've been through. Renesmee hasn't let her family see her for two weeks; ever since you two broke up she's locked herself up in her room and used her gift to repeal anyone who tried to get in." I paused. "But _I_ managed to get in, tonight, just now and I came face to face with a corpse in her room. You wanna know what I found Jake? – I found an almost dead body. She was smeared in her own bloody vomit, her room smelt like dead animals and food was rotting around her. It was horrible, that's not even a decent picture and yet you're going green."

He still didn't answer.

"Y'know, _you_ complain about her making stupid decisions that risk her life. But _you_ made a stupid decision that has cost _her_ life. You love her, _really_?"

"I didn't realise she'd-"

"No of course you wouldn't. You don't realise _anything_ about her, you think you know her Jacob but you don't, you have no idea. You have no idea how much influence you have over her happiness, over her misery, over every emotion she is capable of. And _this_ is what you've done to her. Carlisle is doing everything he can, but he doesn't think she'll make it."

His eyes never left the photograph on the phone; I could see his eyes shimmer. Finally, he had realised what he'd done.

"I just came here to let you know the damage you have done. Good luck with explaining yourself to Bella and Edward as they mourn over the death of their only child." I took the phone out of his hands and turned, as I did, my phone started to ring.

'Renesmee Home' – I would need to change that to 'Cullen Home' seeing as Renesmee wouldn't live there much longer.

"Hello?"

"Claire, it's Bella."

"Hi, how is she? Is she-"

She was silent.

"_Bella_, is she dead?"

"Claire, where are you?" she asked.

"I'm in the forest with-"

"Are you with Jacob?"

"Yeah, why?"

She hesitated, "For his own sake, make sure he doesn't come here-"she paused, "Ever."

"Bella I-"

"Make sure he knows it, Claire. She's alive, but only just. Right now Carlisle won't leave her side but he's done all he can for now, he'll just have to wait until there's progression or… or she gets worse. The baby is alive too."

"_Seriously_? H-how? It hasn't been fed?"

"Carlisle thinks that the baby has an uncertain diet. Renesmee was bending her own diet to the baby's will. On good days, it wanted blood, on bad days it wanted food. But whenever Renesmee drank blood on food days the baby would make her vomit it up, same as when the baby wanted food and she ate it, her stomach didn't like it and made her vomit again. She's really weak because of it, hence why she looks so ill. We need to keep a close eye on what she consumes and how much of it she takes in. She needs the right amount of blood for herself and the right amount of food for the baby – that way she should be okay. As long as we don't let her try to take care of herself again."

I laughed quietly at her dark humoured joke.

"I'm coming back now, so is she in a phase or is she-"

"She's definitely unconscious now, she may have been in phase before but we're not sure."

Our conversation ended and I hung up. Before I'd even reached the forest border, others followed me from behind. Quil was first, then Seth and others came after that – but Jacob didn't, he knew he was unwelcome in the Cullen home now.

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	9. For Her Own Good

**Here's the next chapter guys!**

**Enjoy :)**

**For Her Own Good  
****_Claire_**

HER HEART RATE WAS SLOW, REALLY SLOW. SO MANY OF US SAT IN CARLISLE'S office, some gathered closely around her whilst some gave her distance and room to breathe. The blood and vomit had been washed off her face and her body, now we saw her for what she actually was. She looked like she was dying, that was the one thing that hadn't changed since she'd left her room.

I stood with her parents at her side, hoping that my human warm hand around hers and Bella's icy hand might bring her back, she might feel at home. Seth shared one of her hands with me, the warmth from Seth might remind her of Jacob which could make her fight for her life.

Seth and I were stood right next to her heart monitor. I watched it a lot. I watched it, urging the rate to increase to normal, but it wouldn't it would stay at the minimum to keep her alive.

Bella was talking to her, a lot. Telling her she was sorry for letting her get herself into this. Edward was stood close to her side, trying hard to catch just a glimpse of a thought in her head.

At one point, he tensed up.

"What is it?" asked Bella.

"I have to go." was all he said before turning around and leaving the room.

"Edward-" Carlisle went to stop him. "Think rationally about this. Let me go and talk to him. Stay here with your daughter, she needs you."

"Carlisle it's because of him that she's in this position-" – there was no doubt who had just walked through the front door.

"That may be so and I'm sure he's feeling bad enough about it as it is. Let me speak to him." Before Edward could answer Carlisle left the room and closed the door behind him.

"Let Carlisle handle him," said Bella. "It'd be better if there wasn't any more drama."

"Bella, you've seen what he's done to our daughter. He's not getting away with it-"

"Don't you think he's being punished enough-?"

"No, I want to make sure tonight is the last time he ever steps foot in this house. If Renesmee pulls through, he can't touch her, see her or talk to her again-"

"Edward that's-"

"- just right? Renesmee has been in too much pain in her life over him - I'm not letting him hurt her again."

"No, instead you'll be hurting her. She'll forgive Jacob for everything he's done but if you try to keep him away from her she won't forgive you."

He sighed, "She'll see in time that what I'm doing for her is right-"

"She'll never see that." was the last thing Bella said to him before she turned her attention back to her dying daughter.

Edward lingered in the doorway for a long while before something triggered in him and he left the room. Any other time, Bella would have done something but she was upset with Jacob too, although she didn't resent him as much as Edward did. But she also couldn't bear to part with her little girl.

In another room where Jacob was, there was a lot of yelling and when there was a smash of something valuable Bella quickly turned.

"Emmett, please, for Renesmee's sake go make sure Jacob's alright."

"Bella I'm not-"

"Emmett!" she snapped "_Please_."

Whilst they argued I noticed something - the beeping of the heart monitor was increasing.

"Bella look!" I told her pointing at the screen. Others started to gather round her then.

"Renesmee? Can you hear me? It's Claire." I stroked her arm and watched her eyes, waiting for them to open.

Edward and Carlisle returned and were at her side in a second.

"Her temperature is returning to normal," smiled Carlisle. "She's getting stronger."

Admittedly she still looked dead on the outside but it looked like things were back on track on the inside.

I noticed a shadow near the room down the hall. Uh-oh.

Bella stroked her matted hair. "Renesmee, we're here. _Please_, open your eyes." But she didn't respond. Then I saw Jacob come in. He was asking to be killed, I swear he was.

"Ness?" he called her. The Cullens all seemed to tense up in unison. They would have lunged for him if Renesmee's dry cracked lips hadn't parted and let out the smallest of whispers.

"Jake?" she whispered. Her heart monitor seemed to miss a beep – I smiled at that. Although Renesmee's sign of life had distracted him, it didn't distract Edward from Jacob for long.

"Jacob I told you you're not to see her. When Carlisle and I left that was your cue to depart too."

"Edward, don't let Renesmee hear this-" Bella interrupted.

"Can I just see her one last time then? _Please_?" he asked, or begged.

No one said anything for a few seconds, but Bella indicated space next to her for him. I could tell he didn't think he should smile at her, she was furious with him, but she understood the imprint more than Edward.

Everyone watched Jacob as he joined Bella's side. The second he saw Renesmee I saw his heart shatter into a million pieces. He was afraid to touch her at first but eventually he stroked her cheek.

His eyes were shimmering as he looked down at the disaster he'd made. Then he gently bent down and kissed her forehead and his tears spilled over.

"I'm so sorry. I never thought it would have done this to you. I never meant for this to happen. Ness, I don't know if you can still hear but I need you to hear this: I love you and I always will, everything I've done I did because I thought it was better for you. I left you and let you believe we'd broke up because I thought that with me not here it'd make this whole thing less stressful for you. I know that I make you feel guilty by just being there; you kick yourself and beat yourself up over it. But you don't need to. I don't think any less of you; I never could – even if I tried.

When you wake up, you probably won't see me for a while, a long while, even after all this is over. But you need to know that it's not because I don't love you or that I don't want to see you. It always kills me to be away from you – it did for fifteen years, it did for the past couple of weeks and it will after I leave this room. But it's a punishment I deserve for doing this to you. I love you Renesmee and I hope everything becomes easier for you after now." And he walked out.

I didn't know why the hell I was trying not to cry. Maybe it was because I knew how distraught Renesmee would be when she woke up to find that things were the same as before. She wouldn't have Jacob anymore.

They were over… for good.

Renesmee opened her eyes three hours after Jacob left. Everyone was thrilled to see her eyes open and looking around and so alive. It was like the first time a baby opens its eyes.

She laid there with smiling, relieved faces all looking down at her. And she cried. She'd heard every word Jacob had said to her and she couldn't react to it until now. Edward stood where Jacob had stood and tried to cradle her but she pushed him away with the little energy she had.

"W-why did you send him away?" she spluttered.

"Because it's best for you-"

"_What_ do _you_ know about what's best for me? You don't, _clearly_."

"Renesmee Cullen no one has ever caused you more pain than him yet you want to be with him-"

"Yes I do, because I _love_ him, dad and the sooner you realise that the better."

"Well, I'm sorry but you won't be seeing him for quite some time." The look Renesmee gave her father then would have killed him if looks could kill.

Her tears became harder, and then she saw me.

"_Claire_?" there was slight surprise, slight happiness and slight disgust in her voice. "What are you still doing here?"

"I'm still here to make sure you live. Just casually saving my best friend from doing _another_ stupid thing."

"Is that so? How do I owe you this time?"

I smiled; at least she was making an effort even though she was clearly hurt. "It's on the house - pregnancy discount."

She looked at her bump and was taken aback by it; clearly she hadn't seen it at this size.

"Claire," she whimpered, "I'm fat too. No wonder Jacob left me."

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or not, but it might not have been a joke –maybe she really did think she was fat.

She spent a couple of days in Carlisle's office as Carlisle kept a close eye on her and tried to figure out how to feed both her and the baby sufficiently without damaging either one of them. There was no doubt she was depressed without Jacob and it would only get worse. She would go into mini phases from now and again, luckily they only lasted a few minutes, fifteen at the most.

After a few days of extreme care, Renesmee was much better, not perfect, but better. So, she was taken back to her now cleared room but was rarely left alone. Abi had come to visit her after Embry told her what condition she was in, Abi didn't hesitate to get here. I had been sitting with Renesmee on her bed when Abi walked through the door.

"Whoa." She said, taking a step back.

"Hey," said Renesmee, "I wasn't expecting to see you."

"Well, I always ask for an update on you but when Embry told me how Claire found you and everything, I needed to get here."

"That was three days ago, Abi."

"I know," she said, sitting on the other side of Renesmee. "But he said it would be better to come here once you'd perked up a little."

"And I'm classed as 'perked up' now?"

"Well you're not dead or dying, let's put it that way." I said. She looked at me and I knew by the look in eyes what she was thinking: "_I wish I was dead_."

Abi reached over and held one of her skinny hands.

"I know it's tough right now, but it'll get better in time – you'll see. We'll always be here for you. Through hell or high waters, come what may and any other corny 'we're here for you' sayings there are."

She smiled weakly at her friend and then looked forward.

"We're babysitting you tonight by the way." I told her. She looked at me funny.

"_Why_?" she asked.

"Your family need to hunt and Nahuel has been pretty… subdued, he needs to get out of the house – so they're taking him with them. Don't worry, we will take perfect care of you."

"I don't doubt your caring abilities. Just do me a favour?"

"What?"

"I need some alone time. I know no one wants to leave me by myself but there's something I need to do and I want to do it alone."

I looked at her suspiciously. Was she going to kick us out then pull the trigger or something?

"You're not going to commit suicide are you?" asked Abi.

"No. Nothing like that. There's just something I need to do but it's going to be hard for me so I'd rather be alone when I do it. Please?"

Abi and I exchanged concerned looks but nodded and agreed to let her have her private time. I was worried about what she wanted to do but a part of me was convinced that she wasn't going to do anything that would harm herself and that was fine by me.

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	10. The Letters

**Okay! Back to Renesmee's POV now :) Kinda gets a little interesting here :)**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**The Letters  
****_Renesmee_**

_Jacob,_

_I'm sorry for everything that's happened._

_If you're reading this it's because I'm no longer with you._

Damn it! How hard could it be to write a letter to someone? I'd already written one for my parents which was difficult to write seeing as I was still mad at them, especially my father. What made him think that keeping Jacob away from me would help anything? Just went to show what he knew. And this baby kept moving every five seconds which was making it even harder for me to concentrate.

My family had left to hunt an hour ago and they had taken Nahuel with them. I think he felt guiltier everyday and I couldn't help but feel fully responsible for that. He had been so good about all of this as far as I knew, but according to everyone else it was like he had locked himself up in a shell. But hopefully getting out of the house and the whole hunting and adrenaline might take his mind off things.

Meanwhile, my family had given me a bell to press if I ever needed Claire or Abi from downstairs. I was hoping that I wouldn't need it and I would try as hard as I could to not use it.

I stared at the two crossed out lines on my lap and decided to give up on Jacob's letter for the time being, but it would get done. I needed him to have this letter if I died. I wanted him to read it in two hundred years time and still feel like he could hear me saying those words to him.

I folded up the paper and put it in the top drawer of my night stand. As I shut the drawer I heard movement outside my window. My head snapped in the direction of the window and I stared out cautiously with wide eyes.

That couldn't be my family; they only left an hour ago.

My second thought was a hybrid. Could it be? But how could one get passed the wolves? I carefully reached behind me for the bell, but I didn't ring it. My heart started pounding at the thought of it being a hybrid.

Just then, I saw Jacob climbing up the tree.

Jacob.

He was here.

I hadn't seen him in so long, but from what I could see of him he looked pretty rough. My window was already open so he quickly climbed through in case my family were close by.

"Jacob." I whispered as he gently shut the window. "You're not supposed to be here."

"I know." He crept over to the bed quickly so that his footsteps weren't heard downstairs. "Is it just Claire and Abi here tonight?" he whispered.

I nodded.

"Good. I hope I'm not intruding, sorry I didn't forewarn you I was coming."

"I don't care, I'm just glad you're here." I leant forward as far as I could until my hands were touching his, my arms touching his, my body touching his.

"Wow, I guess I've broken every rule now. I'm not allowed to see you, talk to you or touch you and I've just done every single one of them." He leant against my headboard and put his arm around me.

I rested my head against in neck and clung to him tightly, inhaling every drop of his scent.

"I've missed you so much, Jake."

"I know, I've missed you too. Seth keeps me updated on you y'know."

"I know, I asked him to. I want you to know that I'm alright."

"You weren't a few days ago," he sighed, "Ness I am really, _really _sorry. I didn't realise-"

"Shh." I held a finger to his lips. "I know you're sorry, you don't have to start sounding like a broken record. I forgive you. You were only doing what you thought was best for me and I suppose it sounds legitimate. I just didn't like your idea."

"But you said goodbye-"

"Jacob, it's courtesy to say goodbye to someone when they leave. Besides although I was pretty pissed off at the time I was saying goodbye because I wanted you to leave for a little while then come back later when I wasn't angry anymore. See, you gotta read between the lines."

He smiled, "Wow, all this because of that, huh?"

"Yup. Together forever whenever, huh?"

"Seems so." As he said that I moved my hand from under the bed sheets and went to hold his hand, but he stopped me.

"You're _still_ wearing my mother's engagement ring?"

"Why? Don't you want to marry me anymore?"

"Of course I do, I'd just expect Edward to take it away from you."

"Jacob he isn't going to stop me from marrying you. I don't care what he thinks; I don't care what any of them think. If they don't want me to marry you then that's fine, we'll just elope."

"_Elope_?" he scoffed. "Are you serious?"

"Jacob Black I will marry you if it's the last thing I do and that's a promise."

"Yes ma'am." He smiled and kissed my head. "And when will all this eloping happen?"

"When all this is over." I said. "They might be able to stop me from seeing you whilst I still live here, but once I'm out of this house, I'm out. They can't control what I do and don't do then."

"Unless they're not planning on letting you leave."

I laughed, "They'll let me leave, don't worry. I'll ask nicely first and if they say 'no' then I'll make them let me."

"Whatever happened to the whole 'not using your gift unless it's an emergency?"

I grinned. "Jacob, this _is_ an emergency."

Then I sighed and pushed myself up. The skin around my bulge was sore so I gently stroked it – not that it made much difference.

"Does it hurt?" he asked, sitting up shortly after me.

"Only on the outside. Seems that when it came to my life on the line, the baby wasn't what we needed to worry about."

"Ness, I'm sorry-"

"Jacob – broken record – stop it. Besides, it's not just you, it's my parents too. They don't realise how difficult they're making my life, emotionally anyway." Then I looked at him for a while, debating. "Y'know Jake, I'm really glad you're here – there's something I need to talk to you about, something I haven't told anyone else."

He looked at me for a moment and narrowed his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I know this will sound crazy."

Jacob grinned, "Then it'll sound perfectly normal coming from you-"

"I keep seeing things."

He stared at me for a long while. "What kind of things?"

"_Horrible_ things. It's like I'm feeling what Alice feels whenever she has a vision, except mine aren't of the future."

"Well, _when_ are they?"

I shrugged, "They're all different. Some are in the past; they're memories that seem to be exaggerated. Others are almost like _alternate_ memories."

"_Alternate memories_?"

I nodded. "Like if something hadn't happened then my life would be completely different-"

"You mean that if you hadn't done this then you'd be sitting here doing homework right now? Or hunting?" I expected him to grin with victory of annoyance, but he didn't. His face was serious, almost unimpressed.

"I haven't seen that yet."

"What kind of things have you seen?"  
I sighed, "It's hard to say-"  
I didn't even finish my sentence before everything in my vision changed. Damn, I had hoped this wouldn't happen at a time like now, not when I had so limited time with Jacob.  
But I didn't know how to control these strange visions. This one didn't seem to different at first, but it quickly went from normal to bad.

_ I'm in my room. It's night, just like it is in reality, except Jacob isn't here. Maybe this is a memory of a random night? Something normal. But no it couldn't be, it never is.  
I scan my room for a change and it wasn't long until I spotted a crib in front of my window. A crib?  
It's a nice one. The crib is made from some sort of pale wood, with carvings of fairies and angels in each of the four corners. The crib bars are coated in some sort of silky fabric so I can't see inside it.  
I stare at it for a little longer, then a small gurgling noise is made inside the crib that quickly turns into a piercing scream.  
The baby screams and cries for its mother, but I don't move. I wait for it to calm down. As the minutes turn into an hour, the baby's cries turn to whimpers. Slowly, I move from my bed. But as I move, a duplicate of myself moves ahead of me. I freeze and watch in disbelief as this other Renesmee stands and walks over to her child.  
She hesitates at the crib and watches her child as it's cries become hysterical.  
"What are you doing?" I say to her, but she doesn't hear me. Finally, she picks up the child which turns out to be more like a toddler. She cradles it in her arms and hushes it for a little while. Then she brings it back to the bed and as she sits, her back is to me and she faces the window.  
She begins to sing to the little girl.  
" Hush little baby don't say a word  
You can keep crying but you won't be heard  
Look at what Mommy's life's become,  
Just because of everything you've done  
They won't let me be alone with you  
Because they know what I'll do to you."-_

I drew a sharp breath and Renesmee, the baby and the crib were replaced by Jacob, Claire and Abi. I was panting, I was shaking and I was sweating.  
What the hell was that?  
I would never try to harm anyone's child let alone my own!  
"Ness, Ness, Ness - its okay, we're here." Jacob held my face in his hands. I lifted my trembling hands and kept his to my face.  
"Renesmee, what is it? What did you see?" asked Claire. I looked at her then.  
"How do you know-?"  
"Jacob told us about it when you zoned out. He started to worry so he called us up."  
"But he's not even s-"  
"Supposed to be here?" she finished. "I was the one who got Quil to tell him that your family were out of the house tonight. Although I'm still mad at Jacob for what he's put you through, I'm not mad at you anymore - and I can see how much you miss him. So every chance there is, for your sake, I'll let Jacob know that he can sneak over. Your parents trust me and think that I would never let Jacob anywhere near you-"  
"And when she says 'parents'" Abi interrupted, "She means your dad. I think your mom wants you to see Jacob, she thinks that him being banned from seeing you was harsh, really harsh. So, she's cool with Jake sneaking in when those who don't want him here aren't around." she smiled.  
"Thank you." I smiled, "That's really nice of you."  
Claire snorted, "Don't sound so surprised, we've been friends for god knows how many years - I'm bound to do something kind every once in a while."  
I smiled at her and began to think about the time she'd been here since I'd woken in Carlisle's office.  
"Claire, how long have you been here?" I asked.  
"I've been here since the day I found you sitting right there-" she pointed to the floor next to the other side of my bed. I could still see faint blood patches in the carpet that by now would probably be impossible to get out.  
"Oh yeah," said Abi, "Claire showed me the picture, no offence Renesmee, but you looked like something out of a horror movie."  
I looked at Claire, "You took a photo when you found me?"  
"No," she insisted, "Of course I didn't. If I'd taken it then my camera would have cracked."  
I wanted to argue back, but I started to giggle at the thought of her camera cracking and soon my giggles turned into laughter. One by one the others laughed too and I had never valued laughter so much before. It had been so long since anyone had shown an emotion other than worry, fear and anger in front of me that the sound of laughter was like sweet music-  
Whoa.  
Inside the baby moved sharply and a pain rumbled inside the bump. I held my stomach and the laughter stopped.  
"What is it?" asked Jacob, reached forward for me.  
I shook my head, "Nothing, just a-" I hissed sharply as the pain increased. "She doesn't like positive emotion - she's just not used to it."  
"So you think it's a girl now?" he asked, holding my hand.  
I smiled weakly, "I need it to be a girl." I said, "It reassures me to think that it is. It makes me think that this isn't all just for nothing."  
Claire held my other hand. "That's a good way of looking at it." she smiled and then nudged Abi.  
"Well, seeing as you're back on earth again, we'll leave you two alone." She and Abi stood up. Just as they turned to leave I grabbed Claire's arm.  
"Claire?"  
"Mm?"  
I took a deep breath, holding back tears. "I'm sorry I kicked you out of my house."  
I could tell by the look on her face that at first she didn't know what I was talking about, but soon she understood. Claire smiled.  
"It's okay, I'm sorry I said that you were dead to me." she paused, "And whilst we're on the subject of apologies - Jacob, I'm sorry for slapping you around the face."  
I looked at Jacob, mortified. But Claire and Abi left before I could say anything.  
"Claire slapped you?" I asked.  
He nodded, "I deserved a lot more but she would have hurt herself more than me if she tried."  
"That girl is amazing. Quil's very lucky to have her."  
Jacob moved closer to me and held my hand tighter.  
"Jake, there's something I need to tell you." I said, but gave him barely anytime to reply. "I'm writing a letter for you and for my parents."  
"Why?"  
I sighed, "In case things don't turn out so well-"  
"Oh Ness c'mon-"  
"Jacob, listen to me." I snapped. "These letters will be put in the top drawer of my night stand. I'd be grateful if you could give my parents' their one too. But this is only if I die. If I survive then never mind, forget they ever existed. But on the high chance that I don't survive-"  
"Oh, so you don't think you'll make it now?"  
"I don't know anything anymore. I don't want to believe that those are my chances but with what has happened over the last couple of weeks I don't know what will and won't happen. So, in case I die, there is a letter for you and for my parents in my draw. Along with a package each."  
"A package?" he scoffed.  
"Yeah."  
"Why have you-"  
"It's a gift, Jacob. I want you to keep it and I want you to promise me something right here, right now."  
He looked at me for a few seconds. "What is it?"  
"Please don't forget me." I said with a shaky voice, tears threatening.  
"What?  
"Don't forget about me when I die." I broke down then and fell into his chest. Maybe I was just being hormonal, maybe I was just over emotional but I was hurting when he held me in his arms then. He stroked my hair, he kissed my head, he told me repeatedly that he could never forget me.  
I wanted to believe him and a majority of me did, but I knew well that his life would be long, so long. He could find someone else, he could learn to love someone else, he could marry someone else, someone who wouldn't betray him as much as I have. He could have that life that we never had, the family that we never had, the future that we never had. He could do it, but I always want him to remember me. In two hundred years time I wanted him to remember our time together as if it had only happened yesterday.  
I didn't want him to forget about me.

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	11. The Alternate Memory

**Here's the next chapter! :)**

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**The Alternate Memory**

THE MORNING AFTER JACOB CAME I WAS MOVED INTO THE LIVING ROOM.

Carlisle had decided that I was strong enough to leave my bedroom and to support myself a little more. I was grateful for the independence, I had been craving it recently.

Claire still hadn't left and she promised she wouldn't until she was sure I was strong. Apparently after our little argument a few weeks ago she feels incredibly guilty and feels that she's been taking advantage of time with me. As she too feels that I only have a few days left, she wants to spend every last second of it at my side - which was nice - but not very reassuring for me and my survival chances.

I tried so hard ever since my family returned home to not think about last night with Jacob. It was wonderful, even if he was only here for a couple of hours. And it was just what I needed to keep my sanity, the only problem was that - I needed more.

When Jacob first left me last night I felt refreshed, just after a long soak in a bath, but when I woke this morning I needed him again. Even the next morning felt like a thousand years without him. It was then I decided something - I would try to convince Edward to let Jacob back.

I was resting on the couch with Claire and Bella, with Edward sitting on the couch opposite and Rosalie sitting next to him and Esme perched on the coffee table in front of me. They all watched me - it was sort of creepy. They watched because they knew the time was near and they wanted to make sure that everyone was on full alert. Which was fair enough I guess, but did they all need to stare at me when all I wanted to do was sleep?

"So," I began, breaking the silence. "When's the next hunting trip?" a small smile fluttered onto my face but then Claire gently nudged me. I looked at her and she was shaking her head vigorously.

"_What_?" I asked innocently.

She studied my face for a moment before horror masked her face. "Are you _trying_ to get him killed?"

"No-"

"Claire-" Edward stood from the couch. "Can I speak with you for a moment, please?"

_Busted_.

As Claire stood I reached for her arm and held her down.

"No." I said. "Dad, sit down."

"Renemsee I'm not-"

"_Sit_ down."

He hesitated for a moment but figured that it would be unwise to ignore his extremely emotional pregnant daughter. So he sat back down.

I took a deep breath, "Dad, I understand why you don't want Jacob here and I completely understand why you're so angry with him. He left me when I secretly needed him the most, but I won't act as if it was all his fault because it wasn't. It was provoked, by me. He left because he thought he was helping me doing so. Okay, so he really _wasn't_ helping me in reality, but he thought that not being here might cause me less distress through a difficult time. Although it was stupid and he was wrong, he never did it out of spite or cruelty he did it out of good heart and good nature. I need him, dad. I love him. I might only have a few days left and you're going to quite happily sit back and let my last days be full of misery and regret? Gee, what a wonderful father you are. I know you're mad at him, but for the rest of my short life could you please just tolerate him and let him be with me."

Out the corner of my eye I saw Bella smile at me and Claire squeezed my hand. Esme couldn't help but smile too - whether they were smiling at the sweetness of it all or at how pathetic I must have looked, I didn't know.

"Edward, please - bring Jake back." Bella pleaded. "He needs her too-"

"Bella, I don't really care about what _he_ wants-"

"But you care about what your daughter wants and what she _needs_, don't you?"

Edward looked back at me then. I could see the pain in his eyes in admitting defeat. I needed to make the deal now.

"Dad?" I asked, quietly. He looked at me with thoughtful eyes, but I knew he was listening.

"I'm cold." I told him with a little smile. At that he turned around and left the house for the forest.

"Do you reckon he's going to get Jacob, mom?" I asked Bella resting my head on her shoulder.

She nodded, "I think so. If not... I will."

"Good, I'm glad-"

Poof! Out again. These vision were becoming a daily thing now. I told my parents about them and Carlisle took me off some medication, he also tried to take me off food. He wondered if the new things I was consuming were screwing with my mind. But he said that it would take a while before the side effects of eating and medicine wore off.

I prepared myself for something morbid, something horrific like my vision of me and my baby last night. Like every memory I saw, my vision turned black as night. Then a vision would appear like I'd opened my eyes.

This was a memory, I knew it. I didn't even need to scan the room to know where I was.

_Leonardo stands in front of me. He stares down at me with a menacing grin on his face and the look of a monster in his brilliant red eyes. I look down at myself to find me dressed in that horrible red bridal dress. The rock of an engagement ring is weighing down my hand. Behind Leo stands a resurrected Lauren, glaring at me. Aro stands next to us, preparing to marry us. Everything about this memory seems normal except there's one big thing that's missing - my family and Jacob._

_ This was an alternate memory, this is what would have happened if my family didn't come for me in Italy earlier this year. Uh oh._

_I stand with Aro and Leonardo like an empty house with the lights on. I don't want to participate in this but it seems that my sinister bubble headed duplicate was at it again in making the vision go somewhere. _

_She marries him. She married into the Volturi. She marries a monster. I try to get her to see sense again, but she won't listen - none of them do, none of them ever will._

_"He's lying to you!" I scream "He doesn't love you, he never has!"_

_But she ignores me, as usual._

_As the newly weds depart the hall, I follow them. The rest of the Volturi hold back and stay in the hall, but I don't. _

_He takes Renesmee back to her room and they shut the door, but I manage to squeeze in before the door is slammed. _

_ I barely even found a place to stand before they started play tongue war and Leo was making sure that god awful dress didn't stay on her body for a second longer._

_And I watch. I can't believe that I actually watched me give myself over to that monster. I watch as she was deflowered by a monster, someone who would never love her. Of course, the girl wasn't a virgin, but she didn't know that._

_ Here I figured that he'd also bite her, but he never did. He threw her up into a glow of ecstasy and left her like that._

_Why didn't he bite her?_

_But then the vision changed. It was night and I was sitting lonesome on the bed when Leo slipped through the door._

_"Grab a suitcase." he demanded._

_"What?" Renesmee asked, standing from the bed._

_"Actually, never mind." he said walking away from the wardrobe, "You'll be fine like that."_

_ "Leo, what are you talking about?"_

_"We're going somewhere, c'mon."_

_"Where? We only just-"_

_"Renesmee, I don't have time for you to keep asking questions just come on!" he immediately hushed his voice and listened out for others passing by outside._

_Then it changed again. We were on a boat, a small boat in the middle of what looked like nowhere._

_Where was he taking me?_

_"Where are we?" she asked, moving close to his side. When he didn't answer she punched his arm as hard as she could._

_"God dammit Leo answer me!"_

_"I'm taking you home." he said._

_I just stared at him. He was taking me _home? Is this guy serious?

_After everything he went through to get me to Volterra, he's just setting me free? But, why are we on a boat? Whatever happened to planes?_

_ "You're taking me home?" she repeated, her voice shaking. Then she hit him again._

_"Why would you do that to me." she screamed. "Leo I love you-"_

_"Then why do you persist on hitting me?"_

_"Why are you taking me home?"_

_"Because-"_

_At first I couldn't understand why she was kicking up a fuss over going home - wasn't that a good thing? But then it hit me, this Renesmee thinks that her family hate her._

_We sail a little further with Renesmee still throwing a tantrum before land is visible. There's a small beach at the foot of the tall cliffs._

_Where the hell are we?_

_This isn't America._

_"This isn't America." she tells him. He sighs and looks at her._

_"I know, thank you for stating the obvious." he smiles sarcastically. She pouts for a second before looking back at the cliffs._

_ Then what did he mean he was taking me home? This isn't my home. I didn't even know how far away home was anymore._

_As we sail up the shore, some men with fire torches greet us._

_"Leonardo, my son - well done." said one of the men who hugged Leo as soon as he was off the boat._

_"Thank you Laserek, I didn't want to disappoint you. May I present to you - Miss Renesmee Cullen."_

_The other men helped Renesmee off the boat and kicked the boat back into the sea, with me still in it._

_"Wait!" I yelled at them. "I'm still here!"_

_ My mind was buzzing with that name. _

_Laserek, where was that from? Where did I recognise the name?_

_Then I remembered._

_No!_

_Laserek was Leonardo's hybrid turner. We're on Grimsey Island, where the hybrids live!_

_He'd tricked me, AGAIN!_

_"Renesmee!" I screamed. "Run!"_

_As the boat drifted further into the sea I saw her start to panic. She went to hold onto Leonardo but the hybrids had her. They hook their arms around her arms and her legs._

_"Renesmee! Leave her alone!" I scream at them. But of course, they didn't hear me._

_ They carry the hysterical Renesmee away. The waves roar with her screams. I grip to the sides of the boat to keep myself in it. _

_Her screams become louder as they bounce off the walls of the cave the hybrids take her into._

_"No." I don't scream this time, I whimper._

_Renesmee disappears, but Laserek and Leonardo remain on the beach. Laserek makes Leo turn his back to him and the second his back turns I scream in shock as Laserek snaps Leonardo's head off his body and tosses it into the sea._

_ I couldn't believe what I'd just seen. Laserek had just killed Leonardo, like he meant nothing. _

_I start to panic as the waves become stormier, eventually, one tips over the boat and I tumble into the water._

_I twist and turn in the waves when something hits me hard in the face. A rock?_

_I grabbed the object before the waves could throw it back in my face. As I break the surface I open my eye to come face to face with Leonardo's head._

"No, no, no!" I start screaming again and I'm blinded by the light of the living room.

"Renesmee, Renesmee - it's us. It's okay, we're here." Bella was holding down my arms to stop me from hitting someone with my hysterical arm movements. I looked at her and moved away a little. I felt even colder now and my mother's icy skin wasn't helping at all. I scooted closer to Claire to feel something hotter than Claire. I looked in her direction to find she'd been replaced by Jacob.

My heart started to flutter as I fell into his chest, tears falling down my cheek. He rested his chin on my head and cradled me.

"I'm so happy you're here." I sniffed, gripping onto his shirt.

"Me too, are you alright? What happened this time?"

"Jake, it was h-horrible."

"Tell me what happened." and I did.

I told them everything. I saw how my life would have been if my family hadn't taken me from Italy a year ago and it turned out worse than what I expected. Leonardo would have taken me to Grimsey island and he would have handed me over to the hybrids, because that's what he was originally designed for.

I then began to wonder if he knew. Did Leonardo know that if he had given me to the hybrids his second life would have ended there?

I shuddered. I guess that whether it was me or Laserek who did it, Leonardo was destined to be killed. That was one reassuring thought, I guess.

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	12. A Change of Heart

**Okay, here's the next chapter! :) enjoy!**

**A Change of Heart**

IT HAD BEEN TWO DAYS SINCE MY LAST VISION AND I WAS EXTREMELY thankful for that. But I was back in my room now. The weakest I've ever been. I couldn't really talk much and there was no way in hell I could support myself. The drop in medication had weakened me and the no food had meant nothing but blood, which the baby didn't want. It had grown attached to the food, but the food had driven me insane. So I only had small doses of blood to keep me doing, but now the baby was getting pretty pissed off with no food and it was like she wouldn't let me drink a single drop of blood without throwing it back up again.

So I gave up. I let it have it's own way and we both went without any nutrition. Damn hybrid baby!

Jacob hadn't left my side since he was let back in a couple of days ago, it was nice having him with me. The only problem was the sadness of it all. I had never seen so much pain in his eyes for such a long amount of time before. I couldn't see myself withering away, I could feel it. But he felt my pain and he could see it too.

My throat was so dry and sore that I had to resort to using my gift to communicate. I would send my thoughts to Jacob as he laid next to me in my bed and he would talk back. Sometimes I knew the sight of me was so painful for him that he wanted to cry. Sometimes, when he replied to me, his voice would quiver and his gulps were louder than usual as he tried to hold back the tears.

To be honest, I wanted to cry too. I wanted to cry for the country I was in so much pain both emotionally and physically. Luckily, no bones were broken - yet. I didn't know what would happen to me at the birth. I might either get bones broken and die or I'll have bones broken and be paralysed for the rest of my life.

My hand was permanently to Jacob's cheek as he captured every thought of the moment. I was always thinking, so he was never deprived of my personality or who I was - he just didn't hear my voice come from my mouth.

"Okay, I'll ask again and be honest with me - on a scale of one to ten, how much pain are you in?" he asked.

"_Alright, probably eleven. But don't worry, it'll be over soon. I can hold on until then."_

He sighed, "I don't want you to go through the same as what Bella did, but so far you seem to be doing worse."

"_That's only because this baby has less of a decided diet than me. I knew what I wanted and wanted blood. This baby, she's temperamental, she's something one day and something else the next."_

"Huh," he scoffed, "Sounds like a bouncing bundle of joy. I'm sure glad she's your responsibility."

"_What's that supposed to mean?_" I asked.

"It means that if you had a child I always wanted it to be an angel. I wanted it to be perfect for you. But, this one isn't perfect-"

"_Nobody's perfect, Jake."_

"You are." he smiled.

I let out what was meant to be a scoff but came out like a hoarse cough. "_I'm anything but perfect and I'm sure as hell not angelic in anyway. I look like a corpse, I have the morality levels of Satan and I'm part demon too, just to round things up."_

"You're too harsh on yourself." his voice shook a little more that time and I saw the water rush to his eyes. He looked away and I removed my hand from his face.

"Jake," I tried to talk to him properly, but it felt like someone was rubbing sand paper down my throat - I sounded like it too. "Don't cry, please. I'm fine, _really_._"_

His tears fell more. "No you're not,"- he cleared his throat - "you're _dying._ And you knew it would come to this." he cried harder, "Why are you leaving me like this?"

"Jacob-"

"I love you and I don't want to lose you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and if that means only living for a few more days then so be it."

"No, Jacob, please don't-"

"Ness, I can't live without you. Do you honestly expect me to let you die then just move on?"

"Yes!" that word was the last of it for my throat so I returned my hand to his face. "_Jacob Black, listen to me! I love you too and that is exactly why I can't stand the thought of you doing something like this to yourself."_

He looked at me for a long moment and then sighed, looking away from me.

"It's your fault I'm like this." straight away his eyes fell into shock. He couldn't believe he had just admitted that out loud, in front of me.

I took my hand away from his face and held it to my chest. I didn't want him to hear what I was thinking. I didn't want him to know that I thought he couldn't be more right and I also hated the thought of him knowing that my optimism of my survival was as dead as a dinosaur.

I was going to die, I _knew_ it now. There was so much in life I would never get to do because I had made that one final stupid mistake. I was the most selfish person I knew, I was my own nightmare.

By agreeing to bring this child into the world I was sealing my fate and leaving the people I loved and cared about. As well as creating an innocent child just so that it could be taken and used for nothing but breeding, just like an animal because I was too coward to stand up to it myself

"Ness, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." he went for my hand and tried to hold it to my face, but I pulled away again.

"_Please_," he begged, "Please talk to me."

Finally, I returned my skinny, fragile hand to his warm cheek to tell him that I wasn't mad and that I completely agreed with him. He was right.

But the second my skin touched his my vision went black. I started to panic. I couldn't take these visions anymore, they were too much for my fragile state to take. They scared me, even when I thought they would be normal, they would turn on me and show me something horrific.

I wanted to cry and try to shake myself out of it, but to Jacob, I would simply look as if I had slipped into a daze.

My vision returned...

_I'm in a forest, one that recognise. In fact, I used to go here as a child a lot. I would run away to here when I wanted to be alone, not just inside my bedroom. For the first time, it isn't dark or night, the sun is high in the sky and it shines down into multiple rays through the tree branches. _

_ I start to calm, because I feel... I feel at home. Everything seems warm, a yellowy orange filter covers the trees and the grass. It's summer._

_I notice movement next to me and when I look I find a little girl skipping along side me. But she isn't any ordinary girl, she's special, she's me. I look about seven, so I must have only been a year and bit old._

_She looks up at me and smiles widely with brilliant white teeth, then she holds my hand. I watch as she takes it and I see a wedding ring on my ring finger._

_A wedding ring?_

_ She looks up at me a smiles again, but this time there is a certain darkness to her smile, something sinister. _

_I jolt and hold back. She continues to walk on the hand of another woman - Bella. That would explain the wedding ring._

_As I watch them walk, darkness fills the gaps of the trees they walk through. I follow them, never wanting them to leave my sight. _

_ Not far into the darkness they stop._

_"Where are we Momma?" little Renesmee asks her mother, but Bella says nothing. She simply stares ahead, waiting. _

_Renesmee becomes scared and the joyfulness leaves her big brown eyes to be replaced by fear._

_"Momma?" she whimpers. _

_ Just then two men appeared out of the darkness and stood closely in front of Bella and Renesmee. The little girl tries to hide behind her mother but she refuses to let the girl hide. Bella holds her straight before guiding her little hand to a hand of one of the men._

_"Mommy?" the men start to pull her away, but Bella does nothing. She stands and watches as the strange men drag her daughter away._

_"Mommy!" her little voice screams as she's pulled into the darkness._

_"Mom!" I hear my own voice come from the darkness this time. The little girl escapes from their clutches and returns from the darkness as a fully grown woman. _

_"Mom, please. Don't let them take me!" she throws herself to the ground in mercy as those men reappear behind her and take her under arms._

_ "I'm sorry," Bella whispers to her. "But I have to."_

_As Renesmee is dragged, yet again into the darkness - _I return to my bedroom.

Jacob still lies in front of me, with my hand to his cheek and horror in his eyes. He saw it. He watched that vision with me.

"What was _that_?" he asked, but I was sure it was rhetorical.

"_It's the kind of thing I see everyday. But I'm not sure how that could be an alternate memory - nothing has ever happened that could lead Bella to doing that. She would never do that to me."_

I looked away from him then and rested my head against his chest as I stared down at my large bump.

I gently touched it and for the first time I didn't feel a chill when I touched it. I didn't feel like it was a demon trapped in a metal cage inside me. For the first time I felt like it was nicely wrapped in a blanket - safe and warm. I didn't feel like the host to a demon's possession, I felt like the protector of something innocent.

"You're becoming attached to her, aren't you?" asked Jacob.

I smiled and tried to speak again, "You're starting to realise that I'm not carrying a demon, aren't you?"

He kissed the side of my head. "I realise that I've done more harm to you during this than that baby has."

As I looked at him, it was only a second before he gently pressed his lips to mine. A white hot buzz rushed through my veins and a brand new warmth wrapped around me. As our lips parted I smiled.

"That's the first time you've kissed me since I've been pregnant." I told him.

"Well, I don't know how much longer I can kiss you for, do I?" he said. "I might only have a few more days, or I might have forever - who knows."

"So you _do_ think I'll make it through?"

He shrugged, "I still have a little faith in you I guess. But my telling you constantly that I think you're going to die really can't be helping your confidence. So I figured, I don't want to make the rest of your life miserable if there isn't much left of it. I've made your last month miserable enough as it is-"

"Jake, I don't wanna hear anymore about it. Let's just not talk about my chances of surviving anymore, we're too close to finding out to discuss the possibilities. I need to hold on to the thread of optimism I have left."

"Deal. Is that letter still in the draw?" he asked

I nodded. "Only if I die though, right?"

"Right, so what happens if you survive?"

"I burn the letters and never take life for granted again-"

Blackness again. Damn it! When would the meds and food wear off? But I didn't have to wait long this time. I quickly opened my eyes to find the forest and the darkness again.

_The screams still echo off the trees and the calling is still close by. Bella still watches, making sure that her daughter is gone. But as the screams come closer, a little girl jumps out of the darkness and grabs onto her. _

_ But this little girl isn't me anymore. She looks like me. She has the same curls, the same big eyes, the same innocence. Except her eyes are darker, her hair is darker and her skin a hint darker than mine._

_Then I realise,_

_It's her._

_It's the little girl._

_It's _my _little girl._

_So that must have meant that-_

_ Now Bella turned away from the pleading child, she couldn't take it anymore. But it wasn't her child, because the woman wasn't Bella - it was me._

_"Mommy, please!" the little girl cried as her mother walked away. But Renesmee stops and turns to look to her._

_"I'm sorry," she whispers, "But I have to."_

As the forest returned to my bedroom I started to panic. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do that to a poor little girl.

I was wrong. I was so wrong.

I shouldn't have done this.

This entire thing was a mistake, a big, stupid, _stupid_ mistake!

"Jacob!" I panicked, "I can't do this. I don't want this baby anymore. Please, I can't-"

Just as I said that an excruciating crunch came from inside the bump and I screamed.

It's time.


	13. I Would Give a Title, But I'm Busy

**I Would Give a Title - But I'm a Little Busy Cos' My Girlfriend is ****_Dying  
Jacob_**

NO. THIS COULDN'T BE HAPPENING. NOT YET, NOT NOW. I COULDN'T LOSE HER like this. One moment I was cradling her quiet fragile body, now she was being rushed out of my arms to the bed in Carlisle's office which would most definitely be her death bed too. As her father rushed her away, I was frozen for a moment - not quite sure what was going on.

The bedsheets were ripped off her body before she was carried out the room. Where she lay was a large blood patch.

Then I wondered: Was she really about to have this baby, or was she having a miscarriage? Either way she was in for a lot of pain.

Without a second thought I rushed off her bed and followed the others. By the time I reached her, she was still screaming and shaking. Bella was at her side, stroking her head, trying to reassure her that everything was going to be okay.

But it was crap, it was all crap and Bells knew that better than anyone. Every single person in that room, including Ness knew that she was going to die no matter what method Doc used. Whether he was gentle or he sliced her open with a rusty chainsaw, she stood no chance.

I dodged in between the blurs of vampires racing around the room and found my way to her side. I didn't know if I should touch her. Did she want to be touched?

She was sweating, a lot - maybe I shouldn't touch her. But I was there with her and I would be until the moment her heart stopped.

She was twisting in agony and there was nothing we could do except from get that thing out of her.

But it would be tough to cut her open, they needed to use a more drastic method than just a simple knife. Her skin was just as tough as theirs.

Carlisle had been bringing home extra equipment from the hospital. Seeing as Ness's skin was too tough to stick a needle into, she needed to be gassed.

"Rose, the sleeping gas is next to the medicine cabinet - we need it."

"You're gassing her?" asked Bella, mortified.

"If we keep her awake, she will be in a great deal of pain. It'll be better for her if she isn't conscious."

"What's happening?" Renesmee screamed, holding tightly to her mother's hand. Bella stroked her hair back.

"We're putting you on an oneirogenic general anaesthetic-" said Carlisle as Blondie handed him the gas.

"In English?" I said.

"We're giving you sleeping gas- it'll be a lot less painful for you if we do."

I could see by the look in her brown eyes that she was panicking. Then she looked at me.

"Jake, don't leave me. Please don't leave me-"

I took her skinny, fragile hand and bent down to her level. "I'm not leaving you, I promise I'll be right here when you wake up." I kissed her head and a small smile fluttered onto her face before she took in a sharp breath with the pain.

"I love you." I told her as the gas mask covered her mouth. She moved her mouth and without hearing a single word I knew that she loved me too.

The second her eyes fluttered shut and the screams stopped I wanted to cry. That was the last time she would speak, the last time she would look at someone and her last words were for me, her last gaze - for me.

I hated to lie to her. But I wouldn't be there when she woke up, because she _wouldn't_ wake up.

"Jacob," Carlisle was quickly poking around her giant bruised bump to determine where to cut. "I think you should leave for this."

"I'm not leaving her." I told him, holding her hand tighter. Alice and Esme started to hook her up to a heart monitor.

"Jacob this will only become more uncomfortable for you. Please, wait outside."

If I was honest I didn't care how I felt about this, all I cared about was her.

Then Edward came to my side,"It will be better for her if you wait outside-"

"No." I snapped and turned to him. "You heard what she just said, she doesn't want me to leave her and I promised I wouldn't-"

"I don't care, she needs space-"

"Then why don't _you_ leave-"

"Jake, outside." the demand in Bella's voice made me flinch.

"_What_?"

"Renesmee and the baby's life are both at risk and you two are fighting like children, either you leave now Jake or you both leave-"

"But Bella-"

"Edward is her _father_, Jacob. He has more importance. I know she's you're imprint but all we're asking is for you just to wait outside the room. _Please_."

Before I even gave another word he had his hand clamp around my arm and was dragging me out the room.

"Keep her cool, Alice" I heard Bella demand as we left the room. The second we were out I snatched my arm out of his clutch and was about to run back in when Bella stood strong and furious in my way.

"_Both_ of you can wait out here."

"What?" we both said in unison.

"I know this whole thing is stressful. And Jake, I know you're worried and you scared of losing her and honestly, it doesn't surprise me that you're behaving like this. But you surprise me, Edward. Our daughter is _dying _and you two are too busy arguing over who leaves that it's causing even more stress. So, if you want to fight, you stay out here. If you don't want to fight, you stay out here anyway. It's stressful enough as it is in there - you don't need to add to it. Both of you stay out here until you're told you can come in."

We couldn't even argue back before she went back inside the room. Only a second later, Emmett and Jasper were sent out to make sure we didn't go in.

The heart monitor was the loudest of all the demands and worrying inside the room. The doors were shut, but I could still hear everything.

"It's your fault she's in this." I told Edward.

"How-?"

"Because she's your daughter and you let her do this to herself. You let your wife do it and now, you're letting your daughter go through it too."

"If things go wrong then we'll change her-"

"No you won't." I demanded, "She doesn't want venom anywhere near her. If she dies tonight then she dies, she doesn't want the venom. And I won't let you change her-"

"_Seriously_? If you love her then you'd do whatever you could to keep her alive."

"If you put that venom in her she won't be anymore alive than if you keep it away. She'll be dead either way."

"But at least she'll be with you. Although after the way you've treated her recently I'm seriously starting to reconsider my agreement to let you marry my daughter."

"I _told _you, I was doing what I thought was best for her. Didn't you do that once? You did that for Bella. You thought you were helping her by leaving her, but you weren't - you were destroying her."

"I'd hope you'd learn from my mistakes, Jacob. Clearly you didn't-"

"That's not the point, the point is that you left Bella and you were forgiven. I left Renesmee only for two weeks and suddenly I'm the most hated person in the area."

"You didn't forgive me, Jacob."

"I forgave you, eventually-"

"Yeah," Emmett snorted, "Just so you could shack up with his daughter."

I glared at him - could this guy just let us have a civilised adult conversation?

"But he's right," Edward continued. "You _did_ forgive me so that you could be with my daughter, I think 'shack up' is a little strong, thank you Emmett."

I looked past Edward down the hall to that Nahuel guy hunched over, his head in his hands.

Now _him_ I could blame. I walked past Edward and went to talk to Nahuel. But the second I took a step, I heard the screeching of a new born baby from inside the room.

"It's a girl." said Edward. I watched Nahuel as he stood to hear the cries of his child. Well, thank god for that. It wasn't all for nothing and Ness knew what she was talking about, she somehow knew it was a girl. I turned back to Edward.

"Well," I sighed, "Congrats gramps."

But he didn't smile, the guy didn't even look at me. At first I couldn't understand why, but soon I did. The baby's scream quietened down and the heart monitor sounded a flat line.

No.

NO!

Edward burst through the door and I went to follow him, but Emmett and Jasper held me back.

"Renesmee!" I screamed for her. Over Emmett's shoulder I saw her bloody, lifeless body amongst the rush of her family around her, trying to bring her back.

No, she couldn't be dead. I knew I'd said that she would die but I never meant it, I had every ounce of faith in her to pull through.

Carlisle pulled round a defibrillator and was quickly warming up the shocks. I watched in tears as her body shot up with every shock, her heart rate never gaining a beat. They tried again, and again, and again... And again. But she was gone. Renesmee, _my_ Nessie was gone and I wasn't going to get her back now, not this time.

Edward held an hysterical Bella in his arms. She couldn't cry, but there was enough pain in her face and her body to appear worse than tears.

Emmett and Jasper had realised that they had officially lost their niece, so they stopped blocking me from entering, but they did shut me out. I was about to go in, but it was best to let her family mourn over her body alone.

I smashed my fist against the wall and cried harder.

I couldn't believe she was dead, she was _really_ dead. But the baby lived, of course it lived, the baby always lives whilst the mother dies.

I wandered slowly and tearfully down the hall. I would give them time with her, but I hoped they would let me see her at some point. I came to her bedroom and then stopped outside the door. The bedsheets were still hauled back, revealing a massive blood stain underneath. A small glass of blood stood on her night stand in case she were to change her mind about-

Wait a second.

Her nightstand - the letter?

Her voice echoed in my head :

"_These letters will be put in the top drawer of my night stand. I'd be grateful if you could give my parents' their one too. But this is only if I die_."

I wasn't sure if I should read the letter so close to her death, but I couldn't help it. I needed something of her right now to help me through and a handwritten letter from her was the closest thing I would get."

She was right. In the top drawer of her night stand was two letters and two packages. I took the one with my name on it and then placed Bella and Edward's on the bed. I perched myself on the bed and with shaking hands I took the envelope off the package and opened my letter.

_Deep breaths, Jake._

_You can do this - she wanted you to have this if she... Passed on._

I opened the letter and started to read.

'_Jacob_,

_I'm sorry for everything that's happened._

_If you're reading this it's because I'm no longer with you._

_I love you. Nothing with ever change that. No death, no forgetfulness, nothing will change how much I love you. I didn't want it to end like this, my last few days weren't great, they consisted of pain remorse and fear - but with you there it made me feel a lot better. It's a shame we broke up for a while, I would have preferred to have spent those two weeks with you instead of isolated in my room._

_ But don't be sad, maybe this is a good thing? - Although you imprinted on me, I still feel like something just isn't right about us... I don't know. I just feel that you're too good for me; I've felt that a majority of the time we've been together. Since you came back last year, I don't think I've given you many reasons to want me, to want to stay with me but you seem to want to anyway._

_I've hurt you so much, I've ignored all the times you were right, I disobey you and expect you to accept it and just move on._

_I've unknowingly taken advantage of you, Jake. Everything I've done to hurt you, I know you would never do to me._

_ Personally, I regret saying 'yes' to marrying you - not because I don't love you or that I don't want to be your wife, it's just that as far a people go I feel that there must be someone out there who would be better for you. I didn't deserve you and on the night you asked me to marry you I should have thought about it non-selfishly and sent you away. I know about this whole imprinting thing and the soul mates and whatnot. It also means you would do or be anything for me, right?_

_So here's what I want:_

_I want you to be the best thing that ever happened to me in my short life, I never want you to forget me, but most of all - don't stop living._

_Just because I'm gone doesn't mean you can't be with someone else. I want you to be happy Jacob and that's what I tried and failed to do whilst I was alive._

_ Also I need to talk to you about the baby. I want her to be called Sapphire. Everyone can choose what they like, but if they pull a name out of a hat could you please put Sapphire in for me._

_Don't hurt her. She is the last piece of me left on this earth. I'm not saying I expect you to do for her what you did for me and be like her guardian angel or her big brother. I just want you to treat her right, I mean, who knows? - maybe Nahuel will take her away with him. If it makes your life easier then I hope he does._

_ The last best night of my life was spent on a beach, near my home with the man I love. I'm so happy that I spent that night with you - even though Bella nearly ripped our heads off the next day. It was my last time leaving my house alive and I was with you - what could make it more perfect?_

_ I can feel my rambling nearing, so I'll just say my final words._

_Thank you. Thank you for being the best thing that ever happened in my life, thank you for putting up with my stupid decisions, my stubbornness, when I'm temperamental, when I whine, holding me for hours when I cry for no apparent reason, for just being there and for coming back - I couldn't thank you more for that._

_ Find someone new. Find someone who isn't as much of a terrible girlfriend as what I was. Find someone who treats you they way I should have treated you all the time. But most of all, find someone you deserve. You deserve an angel, a goddess not a damned hybrid vampire who never seems to learn from her mistakes._

_ And lastly, don't forget me. I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record now. I want you to move on but I don't want you to forget. It would reassure me to know that you remembered the time we were together, the times that we argued, we fought, we played, we laughed, we kissed, we made love - I know I will._

_But I had better stop writing now. Right now, you're asleep next to me - I wanted to finish this letter and now seemed like a good time to do it. You're so beautiful when you sleep- I'll miss that. Please remember to give the other letter and package to my parents, won't you?_

_This is where I leave you. Don't mourn my death for too long, you have a long life ahead of you with great possibilities. Maybe you could return to Port Angeles?... Or not._

_I was meant to say goodbye to you several paragraphs ago, I'm risking you reading this letter before its necessary. But I can't say goodbye to you._

_But I have to, and you do too, so here it goes._

_Goodbye Jacob._

_I love you and I will never forget you._

_My love, heart and soul_

_Renesmee _

There was no stopping the tears now, but I let them fall as I put the letter to the side and looked at the package. I was stupid to wish she was playing some kind of trick and had somehow wrapped herself up in this small package. Oh the side effects of mourning.

On the wrapping paper it said:

_Don't forget me. I hope this helps you remember._

Curiously, I opened the package to find a book, a thick one. On the front of it was a message in Renesmee's handwriting, but it was very different handwriting from the one the letter had been in.

_To Jake_

_Merry Christmas!_

_Love from, Nessie x_

_2010_

That was the Christmas I left her. She was going to give this as a gift - she _made_ it. Little Renesmee was only three then. I could still remember her hyping over this gift, she had been so excited about giving it to me. I guess, fifteen years later she'd forgotten about it.

But clearly not.

I wiped a few tear drops off the cover before opening it at the first page. It was a photo album. I carefully turned each page - each one brought a smile to my face and each one brought more tears.

Every photo was just solely of me and her as she was growing up. In every picture she looked older. She'd dated every photo and they of course all started from September 2006, the month she was born. About mid way through the book was a photo of us in the same December I left her, it was only taken a couple days before.

December 2010.

I turned to the next page to be hit by September 2024. Ness was a lot different in these photos, in fact we both were. Our photos together changed dramatically from fun and innocent to fun and intimate and in love. There were loads of photographs of last Christmas at Sam's place. For the first time in my life I had eaten so much that I didn't want to move. Ness sat with me that entire afternoon and we even fell asleep on each other on a few occasions. Someone had obviously taken advantage of that judging by the photos.

All though these were only pictures, they were memories that would never disappear. I would treasure this book for as long as I lived and I promised to keep the memory of Renesmee Cullen alive so that even in two hundred years time it felt like she was still only temporarily gone.


	14. Living Hell

**WARNING: The contents of this chapter some may find disturbing due to grotesque imagery and disturbing themes.**

**Yeah, you guys saw the warning so if you don't like it, don't say I didn't warn you :)**

**Though, I should also warn you that it's a very bizarre chapter, as well as quite graphic... (and unrealistic)**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy it! :)**

**Living Hell  
****_Renesmee_**

"We're giving you sleeping gas- it'll be a lot less painful for you if we do." said Carlisle as he attached a gas mask to the tank. I started to panic. I didn't want to be gassed, but I was scared of the pain I would feel if I stayed awake too.

I looked at Jacob.

"Jake, don't leave me. Please don't leave me-" he took my skinny hand and bent his head down to level with me.

"I'm not leaving you, I promise I'll be right here when you wake up." he said and he kissed my head. I smiled lightly at him but it didn't last long when another pain roared inside me. I took a sharp breath and tried not to cry.

I never took my eyes away from Jacob's as the gas mask covered my mouth.

"I love you." he said and I could feel the gas working. My vision was going hazy and the sounds around me were being drowned out. As I lost control of my mouth I tried to say that I loved him too, but my eyes shut and he was gone.

After I passed out, nothing was as I expected. I thought I would dream or be lying in darkness until the anaesthetic wore off, but I didn't. It was only dark for a second before I woke up.

I kept my eyes shut for a moment, unsure if the area around me was actually silent or I'd gone deaf. As I adjusted myself, I realised that I wasn't lying on a bed anymore. The surface slid through my fingers like... Like grass. It was sort and warm. Seconds later I started to hear things - birds mainly. They sang wonderful love songs to each other; I almost wanted to sing along if I knew what they were singing. Little bees buzzed close and far.

Then I could smell too. It was definitely grass and I was definitely outside. I knew without even looking that I was lying peacefully on the forest floor. It was homey, but there wasn't an ounce of water touching my body. The floor wasn't damp from a recent downpour and the clouds weren't blocking the sun as it tried to rain.

Opening my eyes I found myself in the most glorious place I had ever seen. The sun rays through the trees sparkled and glistened against the trunks and floor.

Red and white roses drooped down from the trees like vines. Daisies stood in clusters with the grass.

I gently sat up. As I rose from the ground, butterflies exploded from the various other flowers around me. They were so beautiful and so rare; in fact I don't think I had ever seen butterflies like it.

A bright blue butterfly fluttered around my nose and soared above me. I smiled as I watched it disappear into the greater beauty of the glistening sunlight.

Then I stood. Everything was so perfect - I didn't think I had ever seen so clearly before. It was like my vision had gone from normal to high definition in the blink of an eye.

Slowly, I walked forward.

As I walked past trees, more butterflies would circle me from now and again. Out the corner of my eye I saw something much bigger than a butterfly - a stag. It stood gingerly next to a tree, watching me.

Normally, I would have taken it down right there and then. Seeing as I hadn't hunted in ages, that seemed like a good enough reason to. But this stag was so glorious, strong and beautiful - like everything I'd seen.

I stood still and returned the stare. After a few moments, he took a step towards me. I flinched at first - those antlers were huge and would kill me in a second if he was angry. He mirrored my flinch, but regained his courage and edged towards me a little more. He walked through one of the glistening sun rays and he became even more beautiful.

When he stood directly in front of me, he slowly bowed his head. Was he going to charge at me? From such a short distance?

But no, he was trying to tell me that he didn't fear me and that I shouldn't fear him. So I didn't. Gently, I raised my hand and placed it on his head. As my hand broke through the sun's sparkling rays I saw that, unlike usual, my hand didn't glisten with it, nor did my arm.

I was human. Completely human. That was why the stag didn't fear me, because I was just a human and he knew that I wasn't strong enough to harm him unarmed.

How strange.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" a female voice made me jump and the stag started to back away. I turned around to find the source, even though I recognised the voice already.

Behind me stood my best friend, dressed in a long white dress. The white was even brighter in comparison to her slightly tanned skin.

"Claire?" I asked, stepping towards her. "What are you doing here?"

She smiled. "I'm not actually Claire. I've just taken the form of her - y'know, to make you feel more at home."

"So you choose Claire. You could have been my parents or -"

"No, I couldn't." she stopped me and gently walked closer to me.

"Why not?" I asked.

"They don't belong here. They're not allowed here."

I scanned the forest again."What exactly is _here_?"

"This is your heaven. Don't you think?" she asked. "It's glorious. It truly is the best heaven I've seen.

I gave her an unimpressed glare. "Heaven? You are _kidding_, right?"

"What's the problem?"

I stared at her curiously. "But if it's my heaven then surely I should have the people I care about here?"

"We have our limitations. The damned cannot pass, no matter how close they are to someone who is chosen for heaven." she paused for a moment and gestured behind me.

"But _he's_ allowed here." just as she said that I felt a warm hand on my waist, I looked round and saw Jacob. My heart skipped a beat. Half of my heaven was with me now. I smiled at him and he pulled me into his arms. As I held onto him tightly, I saw Claire smile out the corner of my eye.

"So, if this is meant to be heaven then am I-?"

"Dead?" she finished, I nodded.

"Not yet. But you will die. I'm afraid that the last time you were awake in your grandfather's office was indeed the last time you were ever conscious. I'm sorry."

"But I'm still alive now?"

"Yes, but your time is running out."

I stared at her for a long moment. "Is there anything I can do?"

She sighed and came closer to us. "Well, there is one thing you can do. But it is extremely risky."

"What is it? I'll do anything."

"Well, how good are your seeking skills?"

"Why?"

"You need to find yourself-"

"Oh no, not all this inner peace and finding your soul crap. I don't have time to find my inner peace - as you clearly stated."

"No, you need to find yourself, physically." she paused. "Find your dead body and bring it back."

"Where do I look?" I asked.

"That's the difficult part. To find the light at the end of the tunnel, you must venture through the tunnel first."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that to find yourself, you must pass into your hell. Your body lies where it is predicted to die. You will die in the same house you were born in. But when searching for the frame to your picture, don't look in the obvious drawer."

I stared at her for a long moment. "Look, I'm too panicked to understand your riddles."

"I mean, when searching for the body to your soul, don't look in the most obvious room." before I could talk again, she looked at Jacob.

"Jacob, shall we?"

He nodded and led me forward, Claire followed us. Where was he taking me? And why did he never speak to me?

"Jake," I said as we walked. "Please speak to me."

"Oh, he can't talk to you." said Claire.

"Why not?"

"Because he is merely the shell of Jacob, he has no soul to fill his body because his soul still lies in his living body. But I fear that it won't be there much longer. And that brings me to another warning you may want to consider."

As she said that, my house came to view. Everything about it seemed normal except from the darkness that filled every room behind the front door. But the darkness was like black mist that filled every window.

"What else?" I asked as we stopped halfway across the road.

"The second you step through that door, you can never return." she said, gravely. "Choose carefully, young Renesmee. I can assure you that if you remain out here, your soulmate will arrive shortly after your death and you will live happily together here in a world where you don't have to live in fear of being hunted by those unwanted. You will no longer have to feed on blood to survive or have to worry about others ageing around you. Jacob will no longer be cursed with his being half canine. Same as you will no longer be half a demon - you will be replenished of any sins. Neither of you will grow old together, because you will remain in the stage you died at."

I stared at the house for a little longer. "So what happens if I go in?"

She let out a remorseful sigh. "When you pass through those doors you will be entering a completely different realm billions of miles from here, no matter how close it seems now. Once you pass, you cannot come back. You must remember Renesmee that inside those walls is your own personal hell. Inside you will see things, horrible things, things that no one should _ever_ have to see. Your house has the exact same layout, however the open, bright, airy atmosphere you're used to will be gone. You are about to enter the maze that nightmares are made of. But your only hope of bringing your dead body back is to venture through it. Are you _really_ prepared to see the exact things you fear the most?"

The more she emphasised the things I would see, the more I knew _what_ I would see. But if I stayed here, I would only make things worse. Not only would I die and be a lose for my family and friends, they would eventually lose Jacob too, causing and even greater loss.

I knew I had to try, even if I did fail and spend the rest of my life in hell. I would rather drown in eternal misery for trying than not trying at all. I wouldn't be who I was today or even alive if I didn't try to fix the things that I had. Admittedly, something's I tried to fix I did more damage to than good. But nevertheless, I am Renesmee Cullen and I never give up without a fight.

First, I turned to Claire, "I'm gonna do it." I told her, "I know the risk of the decision I'm making, but I can't give up on my family. I can't leave them."

"It's your choice, if it's any consolation - if you were to fail, you wouldn't necessarily lose anyone you loved."

"What do you mean?"

She laughed darkly, "It's a bit of dark humour, I probably shouldn't use it that much. But once you're inside, you'll see what I mean. But you hear that?" she asked. As soon as she said that, a beeping sound echoed off the trees and the building.

"That's the sound of your heart monitor - your heart beat is weakening. When you pass through those doors, the monitor will sound a flat line. You are then under a strict time limit to find your body, understood?"

I nodded.

"Listen out for the continuous beep when your inside. When it stops, your time is up."

"Will I know when my time is nearing?" I asked.

"You'll know." she assured me.

"How?"

"You just will, trust me."

Then, I turned to Jacob. "Hopefully, I'll see you on the other side."

"Oh you will see him." she said. "_Trust_ me."

I meant the living side, the side I was trying to get to, but I knew that she meant a very different side. She meant past those doors and seeing Jacob there was one of the things I feared the most - which meant that he would obviously be there.

He smiled at me, but still remained silent. It would have been nice to hear him say something, even just 'Hi.'

But I smiled back then left them and cautiously walked closer to my house.

"Good Luck, Renesmee Cullen." Claire called.

I touched the door knob and the heart monitor was replaced by the scream of a baby. _My_ baby. I suddenly then felt a flutter of hope. That hope took over my limbs and I burst though the door.

The screaming went, the crying gone, the flat line sounded and now the clock, my clock was ticking.

The black mist escaped the house and cloaked the forest and glorious nature outside. Heaven was a billion miles away now.

Various yelling echoed in and out of the room. Then I heard Jacob.

"Renesmee!" he yelled desperately- BANG!

The door slammed behind me and it's frame quickly faded into the wall, along with the door itself and then the knobs fell onto the floor. There was no way out.

I put my mind into concentration mode. I needed to find my body.

_Don't search in the most obvious room._

I didn't even know what room was obvious there were so many in this house. I could tick the living room off my list - there was no one in here. It was dark, night dark. I went to switch on a light but there was no power.

I decided to try upstairs first. Maybe I was hidden in a room with my passion. Seeing as it was the first door at the top of the stairs, I tried the art studio Esme and Carlisle had given me for my eighteenth birthday.

At the top of the stairs, I looked down either end of the corridor but the black mist filled either end.

I was already getting freaked out and I hadn't even seen anything that horrible yet, except from the front door disappearing behind me.

Though standing there, in front of my art studio some how felt familiar. Even in the darkness, this felt familiar.

Gently, I opened the door to my art studio and walked inside. Straight away the scent of blood filled my nostrils but of course, me being human here - it didn't faze me at all. In fact, it made me want to throw up.

The room was empty, except from a canvas that stood on an easel in the corner of the room. It had something on it, a message.

I walked closer until I could read it. And it read:

"_The opportunity was there, so I took it_."

I knew straight away that it was written in blood. A small pot of blood sat on the floor in front of the easel. Next to it was a trail of blood, it lead away, beyond a door on the wall next to the easel. I opened it only a crack to find a heavily bleeding and long dead Abi slouched against the door frame on the other side.

Oh God. Her eyes were milky and drooped open with a gaping hole in her neck. I started to gag, but pushed the door open further to see if my body was in there.

That room held a lot of bodies, but none of them were mine. The second body I saw was Seth's. The lower half of his left leg was missing and a huge chunk had been taken out of his side.

Then I saw Eli, his body was twisted and mangled next to a window.

As I scanned the room, I saw them all. Sam's body and Emily's were together. But the others were just scattered around. Leah was piled up in one corner. Quil another. Embry's body wasn't too far from Abi.

It was horrific. The stench of blood filled the room and it made me want to throw up. My body wasn't in there.

As I turned to leave I flew out my skin at the sight of a resurrected Jacey standing right behind me. It had been a long time since I'd been confronted by her. She had died half way through my year at Forks high school – I was accused, though it was a vampire's doing.

I was expecting her to hit me or something, or at least speak. But she said nothing. She just stared at me with her vacant eyes. Her clothes heavily blood stained, just like they must have been when she died.

It was then I realised that she wrote the message on the canvas - she took Abi's blood

Her stare was really starting to scare me, so I ran past her and left the art studio. The second I was out the door, I noticed how the black mist had started to close in on the room. I was about to choose a direction when something emerged from the mist on my right.

Two little girls hovered slowly together, hand in hand, singing.

"_Hush little baby don't say a word. You can keep crying but you won't be heard. Look at what Mommy's life's become. Just because of everything you've done. They won't let me be alone with you. Because they know what I'll do to you."_

They chanted that morbid lullaby as they floated past me. The closer they got the more I recognised them. The one on the right was me - I looked about seven and the one on the left also looked seven. That one was my little girl that was little Sapphire.

They too watched me as they passed, their eyes never leaving mine. The further away the went, the further their necks turned until finally both necks crunched as they turned exactly one hundred and eighty degrees, just to never lose my gaze.

But finally, they disappeared into the black mist on the other side of the hallway. The second they were gone I ran in the opposite direction and headed into darkness they came from.

Only a few steps into the darkness and I came face to face with another ghost - Leonardo. He was just like Jacey and the two girls. He stared at me and never looked anywhere else.

Was _he_ the reason for a death too?

The second I thought that question, it was answered. I screamed at what he had done at what I saw before me, on the wall.

"No!" I screamed and tried to hit him, but went straight through him.

On the wall were eight sets of metal platforms. The first one I saw was Rosalie. Her head had been separated from her upper body by a thick metal shelf. Then her upper half and lower half again separated by another metal shelf then she stood on a platform. She was neatly preserved, even now she was officially dead and still stunningly beautiful.

And she wasn't the only one. Lined up perfectly, next to each other was then Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle and... And... Bella and Edward.

"No! Please God no!" I looked at Leonardo who was still staring at me.

"What have you done to them you monster!" I screamed at him. I tried again and again to hit him and punch him and kick him but every hook went straight through.

With vomit churning in my stomach, I took Edward's parts off the shelves. They fell on the floor and I immediately I fell too, just to try to recover them. Like a jigsaw I put the pieces together bit by bit. Yes, I had been here before. In a dream I had once. I dreamt of a world I felt was like hell, when in fact it was.

"Come on, reattach!" I yelled at the pieces. But they wouldn't.

"Please! Daddy_ please_! Live! Reattach! Come on." I tried pushing them together again and again, but they wouldn't go.

At a final attempt to reattach them, the parts disappeared from beneath my hands and were back on the shelves again.

Leonardo stared at me as I screamed and cried for my dead family. I threw myself against the closet door and cried my heart out. They were dead. My parents, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles were dead.

"No," I whimpered again and again.

Then, the flat line sounded in my ears again. I didn't have time to mourn; I could save this if I just found my body. The door I was against was my bedroom.

Was that an obvious place to hide it?

I didn't know, but I opened the door and a horrible stench flooded out the room. Something that smelt like rotting animals.

Something was in here, I just hoped it was my body.

I walked into the room and the door gently closed behind me. But someone was stood behind the door and it made me scream. Lauren.

This _had_ to be my body - it seemed legitimate that Lauren would be responsible for my death.

Like the others, she just stared at me. I looked away from her eerie stare and looked into my room. There was something in my bed.

Yes! This _had_ to be me!

I almost felt a smile spread on my face. Was this the light at the end of the tunnel? I quickly walked over to the side of the bed the body was on and pulled back the bed sheet-

"NO! NO! NO!" I threw myself away from the corpse and started screaming my lungs out.

No!

I cried so much it was almost as painful as my heart.

It wasn't me. It was Jacob.

He looked like he'd been dead for quite some time. His tanned skin was now rotting away, black and brown. His shirt heavily blood stained. But there was something odd about the juxtaposition of his arms - he was holding something. But his hands were hidden beneath the bed sheets.

Gingerly, I crawled over to him and with shaking hands pulled back the bed sheets further. His hands were part flesh, part bone. But in his hands he held two fresh hearts. I looked back at his chest again and could see that one of those hearts were his. I felt a sudden punch in my chest then and as I looked at myself I saw blood start to seep through my shirt around my chest.

He had my heart in his hands.

Our hearts were together - literally.

I felt a huge weight drop on me then - I was weakening, fast. My time was running out. I ran out the room, clutching my bleeding chest.

It was hard for me to move quick now without my heart. I didn't know why I was still running. But I guess as soon as the heart monitor stopped, so would I. I would drop dead and join the rest of the corpses here. I just hoped I was put with Jacob.

I dragged myself down the stairs.

Carlisle's office. That's where I would die, because that was where I was last. I took in deep breaths as I staggered to Carlisle's office. As I left the living room, I saw the ghosts of Lauren, Leonardo and Jacey staring at me from the stairs.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled at them and tried to pick up my pace, clutching my chest harder.

Carlisle's office doors were closed. As I looked around for the three ghosts or even the little girls, I opened the door and-

The seven ghostly, vacant faces of the Volturi stood just on the other side of the door. I screamed and stumbled backwards. But I struggled to return to my feet, I was so weak. My time was rapid running out. So it was time to face my fear, I barged past the Volturi and walked straight through them.

And there I was. In the middle of the empty office my freshly dead body was laying on the bed.

Just as I stumbled towards her, something grabbed my arm. I looked behind me to find that suddenly, these ghosts had become solid. Aro held me back, but I fought away from him. I struggled. They were all coming at me from different directions, but my focus was solely on my dead body. The heart monitor became much louder to sound how time was nearly out.

"_Please_-" I reached forward.

My fingers are just an inch away from hers-

**Okay, so are we all agreed that this is the most bizarre, horrific and surreal chapter yet?**

**Yes?**

**Good.**

**Anyway, I hope you liked it :)**

**I know that the last 7 or so chapters have been very 'untwilightistic' but things will start to normalise themselves now :) I promise. If you have started from the beginning and are still reading this. Two things:**

**1. Congratulations!**

**2. THANK YOU! Thank you so much for sticking with it :)**

**Please review and tell me what you think! :)**


	15. Sometimes I Just Can't Believe This Girl

**Okay, so we're swapping over to Jacob now :)**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Sometimes I Just Can't Believe This Girl  
****_Jacob_**

I'D SAT BY HER SIDE FOR A DAY NOW. IT HAD NEARLY BEEN TWENTY FOUR hours since she died. I held her hand with affection, never expecting anything in return. She looked peaceful, I'll admit that. Soon after Carlisle made her death official, her family started to clean her up. I watched through the open doors as she was stripped down, sponged down and then made up in fresh clothes that were too big for her now small body.

They did as I told them, as Renesmee had told me - don't let venom anywhere near her. Although Bella insisted that they changed her, the rest of them thought that it was better to let her rest in peace than to change her to something she just didn't want to be.

Over the day, others came to visit her body. Claire was an emotional wreck and could never bring herself to actually see the dead body of her best friend. Abi came to see her though, and so did Eli. She couldn't stop crying, and Embry held his imprint through her pain. Even though she was crying, I still envied him. He could hold his soul mate through pain and suffering as well as joy and laughter, but I couldn't - not anymore.

Every visitor she had I heard give their condolences to her family downstairs. But no one spoke to me, they were almost afraid to. I suppose I should have given people privacy with her, but I couldn't bring myself to leave her side.

On the morning of day two after her death, her family left the house for the first time. They and Nahuel took the child out to see the forest. It was sickening in a way. They were trying to raise her exactly like Renesmee, they wanted her to grow up and be exactly like Renesmee.

They named her Sapphire for Renesmee's sake, after I told them that was what she wanted. I also gave Bella her letter - I never saw it though and I never asked to. Even though there was a part of me that was interested to see what she wrote for them, it would've been inconsiderate and if she were still here she would have snapped at me for doing so.

I hadn't seen the kid. I didn't want to. I didn't want to see how much her curls fell perfectly, her eyes were big and brown and her smile was perfect - just like her mother's. If she was anything like Ness she would be perfect, I just knew it.

I just hoped that she didn't make the same stupid mistakes as Renesmee-

No. I couldn't. I couldn't say a single word against her now. When she was alive I would tell her when I thought she was doing something stupid, but now that she'd passed it was painful to say anything against her.

But anyway, her family had left the house and as usual I was sitting next her body like a guard. I would probably do that when she was buried too. I'd sit by her grave until I could have my own, then I'd want it right next to hers.

Some of her visitors had spoken to her, given her some final words about what they thought of her and what they would miss about her. I felt like I should say something, but the truth was I was speechless. There was an everlasting lump in my throat and it hurt to speak. So I stayed silent. Sometimes I cried when I deeply thought through how different life would be without her.

I'd lived seventeen years of my life _without_ her - but I had lived nineteen years _with_ her. Now I would spend the rest of my life without her.

I was born without her and I would die without her.

It was sad that in her final moments before she's buried or cremated or whatever they plan to do with her - she won't regain her perfect form. Her rose cheeks were forever gone, her lively brown eyes, her high cheek bones - all of it, gone.

The more I watched her, the more I regretted everything. I was only there to make five years of her life special, the rest of her life was spent in misery because she thought I was dead. I didn't put my foot down and physically stop her from falling into the Volturi's trick.

Maybe she would have been stronger if we hadn't taken her off the medication and the food.

Emmett was holding that kid yesterday, Bella told me, and he saw something horrible from his past. She said that he looked like he'd zoned out for a few minutes, then he came back mortified. It wasn't the food or the things she was consuming that made her see things, it was the baby. It had a weird combination gift of Renesmee.

Renesmee could control minds and project her thoughts and memories in people's minds by touching them.

Her daughter could control what people saw by touching them. Why she insisted on showing horrific things to people I would never know. Maybe it was because she was just horrible, a horrible, motherless child. Maybe she wouldn't turn out like Ness after all.

Her family had been gone for nearly an hour I changed my position slightly and rested my hand on her cheek. It was cold now, she used to be warm but that had flooded away. I kept my hand there for a long time, hoping that she might warm up - but she didn't.

I started to feel her after that, my hand slid down her face, down her neck and then I rested it just over where her heart was.

Then I felt something strange.

_Ba-boom_

A second or so later

_Ba-boom_

And again

_Ba-boom_

Her heart was... _Beating_? How was that possible? She'd been dead for nearly two days now. But I kept my hand there and her heart beat grew stronger. She could get stronger - she needed blood. I flew from my chair and ran to the fridge where the blood bags were stored, I also found a long tube somewhere amongst all the other equipment. She had lost a lot of blood and she needed some to feed on too.

I would have get more blood in her system first.

The hole in her arm where she had been given blood whilst she was dying was still there so I didn't have to try and cut her open. I carefully removed the cotton patch on the hole and slipped the tube in before connecting it to the blood bag.

I should have called Carlisle, but I didn't know if this was temporary or if she was trying to come back. I couldn't wait for them to return if she might die again before they got here. The blood was going through the tube and through under her skin.

"Come on, Ness - come back to me." I kissed her skinny face and pleaded for her her to keep strong. I felt for her pulse again and it was getting stronger by the second.

I sat with her for ages, waiting anxiously. As time stretched on, I saw her getting stronger. Her cheeks started to fill out, her lips regained their color. As I held her hand I gradually felt it become stronger and fatter. Her skin was always pale, but she wasn't white anymore, she was nice pale. Her skin grew flawless and she looked like an angel now. Her rig cage disappeared as her skin thickened and her normal flat, toned stomach was back. She'd be happy that she still kept those two extra bra sizes she harped on about a couple of weeks ago. There were no longer anymore bones pinned against her skin and bruised skin colors. Admittedly, her stomach was still a little bruised from where she was stitched up again after she died - but that would heal through time.

It took a couple of hours for her to improve to this level. Although she looked strong, there was still a chance she was weak inside. So, I left her side again to get her a bag of blood and a glass - she was going to need a lot to regain full strength.

After I poured the blood into the glass, I turned to find her watching me. I flinched and tried not to drop the glass or break anything else that I stumbled against.

I didn't move, and neither did she. We just stared at each other.

Was I dreaming?

Or was she actually alive in front of me?

Maybe I was hallucinating - when was the last time I even slept?

I stepped towards her, holding the glass steady in my hand. As I sat down again, I put the glass on the table next to here. She still watched me. Her brown eyes were vibrant and full of life again.

"I told you I'd be here when you woke up." I said with a smug grin. She smiled and reached forward for my shirt and then pulled me by the collar to her. She kissed me, so desperately. But I obliged and wrapped my arms round her before pulling her body closer to me.

I held her tight, terrified of losing her again.

"I'm so sorry." she kept saying between kisses, I pulled away.

"Ness, what are you tal-"

"I should never have done this Jacob. It wasn't until it was too late that I realised this was all just one big stupid mistake."

I stroked her cheek. "Don't worry about it, the main thing is that you're here and you're alive. You have no idea how happy I am right now."

"I think I have an idea." and she smiled the smile that I loved. Her teeth were perfect again, her lips were moist and not a crack visible and most of all she had the energy to smile as much as she wanted.

We sat in blissful silence for a while before she started to ask about the one thing I didn't want to know anything about.

"What happened to my baby?" she asked. I hated it when she called it that. I didn't want it to be her child, I didn't want her to have anything to do with it.

"She survived." I said.

Then a new smile wiped across her face. "I told you it was a girl."

"Yes, you did." I smiled. "Congratulations, you have a probably beautiful baby girl."

"_Probably_?" she asked, "You mean you haven't seen her?"

"Ness- you had just _died_ because if that baby, do you honestly think my first thoughts were going to be about cooing over it and singing it a lullaby?"

She didn't say anything, she just stared at me. But she stared that stare that meant she was getting upset with me for something.

"Look," I tried again. "I didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as that. It's just that you know I didn't like the idea of the baby-"

"You haven't killed her have you?" she snapped.

"_No_, what? God no, I might hate the thing but that doesn't mean I'd kill it when it means so much to you."

Then for the first time, she looked away from me. Silence. Then moments later she sniffed. I looked at her.

"I hoped you would like her once she was out. I thought maybe you'd connect with her or something."

"You mean you thought that because one of my imprints had died I'd go and imprint on someone else?"

"No." she insisted. "I just thought that maybe you would see me in her and not feel so much hate towards her."

"It's because of her you died."

"I actually thought she was pretty tamed in comparison to me."

"Only because she was compatible with you. You weren't compatible with Bella. But you still weakened and, no offence, but looked like a corpse."

"Because my diet was screwed up-"

"Because of it-"

"It's not her fault she doesn't like blood, its just the way she is."

She'd been alive only ten minutes and already I'd managed to make her uncomfortable. Maybe I could enlighten her with something. Like how her daughter has a weird gift that's combined with hers.

"Okay, I know one thing about the baby, other than the fact it's alive. It has a gift."

Her eyes lit up then. "Seriously? What can she do?"

"She can make people see things, by touching them."

"So, like me?"

"Sort of. She can _control_ what people see rather than only what she's thinking or her memories." she still looked at me with a blank face. She understood the child's gift but she didn't understand why the hell I was implying it was significant. "In other words," I continued. "I don't think that the food or medication was what were making you _see things_."

"_Jacob_!" she snapped. "How can you possibly stand there and imply that a sweet little baby could make someone see such horrific things? She hadn't even seen the outside world, she could never do something like that."

"Look, I haven't experienced it. _You_ have, Emmett has and probably others have too."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that maybe there is something more to her gift, but we don't know much about her yet. Maybe she can make people see their own memories or something-" I started to trail off but Renesmee jumped with the look of excitement in her eyes.

"Jake that's brilliant. Of course! She has my gift, _reversed,_ like how my gift is sort of a reverse of Edward's. She can make people see their own memories and thoughts, but she can manipulate them too - like I can with minds."

"Yippee." I mumbled.

She titled her head. "Oh Jacob c'mon. It's child's play - its harmless."

"I don't see how it's helpful, with you it was helpful because we knew what you wanted to say when you couldn't speak and won't speak."

"Does it need to be helpful?"

"Look, let's just not talk about her anymore, okay? You and I have very different opinions of her. As long as she stays away from me, it'll be fine."

"She won't hurt you-"

"But maybe I don't _want_ to look back at my past. I don't want her to choose my worst memories and throw them in my face again. I don't _want_ her to manipulate them to seem even worse. Trust me Ness, she'd love to mess around with my memories, there are so many bad ones-"

"Jake-"

"I don't want to see my mother dying all over again, I don't want to see it manipulated so it's my whole family. I don't want to see any of the cruel, twisted things you told me about. I don't want to see this happening all over again, except you leave me for Nahuel because you think it's better for Sapphire that way or... Or... I see you die again and this time, you don't come back." I could feel myself almost in tears now, but I didn't want to cry in front of her.

She didn't say anything at first, she stared at me as I tried to calm myself down.

"I'm sorry," she spoke quietly. "I just got a little lost in the moment - don't worry, if it makes you feel uncomfortable then I won't let her near you. I don't want you to hurt her."

I wasn't expecting that last part, even though I should have.

"Ness, I won't hurt her. I just don't want her near me."

"And if she comes near you?"

I shrugged. "Then I'll just shake her off."

She sighed sharply. "She's a _child_ Jacob, not a dog."

I couldn't seem to say the right thing. It was intended as a joke but I should have known better - she was under a lot of stress. She couldn't take jokes right now.

"Look, I'm sorry - I didn't mean that-"

"No, I'm sorry." she said. "I've ruined everything for us. I've tried to see through it, I've tried to rise above it but it's hopeless - I've ruined every chance we have and everything we had-" I recognised her tone. It was the same tone she had in her letter. She was trying to push me away, I could _feel _it. The worst part was that I couldn't, no matter what I said to her, I couldn't seem to change her mind. She thought I was too good for her, that she was the spawn of Satan himself, she was damned. She had taken this whole thing to heart and too close to her heart if you ask me.

The past month had been a hell of a bumping ride - there was no doubt about it. I'd argued with Ness in the last month more than I had argued with my own father in my life. I broke up with her, thinking it would do her good but nearly lost her completely - then, I did lose her completely. I experienced nearly two days without her on this earth and they were the most miserable, empty, frustrating two days of my life.

"Jake- everything I said in that letter I meant for the very pits of my heart and soul-"

"What? That you think you're not good enough for me?"

"Trust me, I know I'm not good enough for you-"

"Well, just goes to show what you know then." I had never spoken to her in that tone of voice before, so downgrading, so snappy. The look on her face bit me, but I needed her to understand the full picture seeing as she hadn't picked it up herself. "Look, I don't usually explain imprinting this deeply, but you and I are _soul mates_. You don't get any better for each other than that. No one gets any better for me than you and even if I met and dated every girl on the face of this earth I would never find one as good as you-" I could see the tears welling in her eyes, but I carried on. "- you and I are different in a lot of ways - the most obvious is that we think differently. _You_ thought it would be a good idea to go off alone in the forest to hunt when you were being hunted. You thought it would be helpful for you to go to Cambridge. You thought that-"

"I thought that this was a good idea!" she cried at me, tear streaming down her rose cheeks. Her eyes never left mine and it scared me the way she looked at me, but I couldn't bring myself to look away. "I _know _Jacob. I know. I know I'm an idiot and I make stupid decisions. I know that this was a bad idea and deep down I knew it from the very second I said go. And I know that this entire time I have done nothing but hurt you and _that _is why I said what I said in my letter."

But then I smiled smugly at her. "Well, s'good thing that it only applied if you were dead."

I moved slightly closer to her and she stiffened. "What if I didn't just mean if I died?"

**Hope you enjoyed it! :)**

**Please review!**


	16. Sapphire

**Okay, here's the next chapter! :)**

**Sapphire**  
**_Renesmee_**

WHAT WAS I _SAYING_?

I had just risked an eternity in Hell so that he wouldn't be alone and I was lying here, my stomach sore and my heart not sure what it's doing, telling him that I think it would be best if we weren't together.

You would have thought that after everything I would have learned to stop doing stupid things, but no, I was still as stupid as the day I was born. It was time to face the music - I would never learn.

But in my second life, my tongue seems to be three seconds ahead of my brain. I love Jacob and nothing would ever change that, as I clearly stated in my letter to him, same as what I thought was best for him.

"That's not funny." he said, pulling away from me. Naturally, I wanted to pull him back but I resisted. "You are joking, right?"

I wasn't sure what to respond with. Reassurance? A lie? A laugh? A cry?

To be honest, I wasn't sure what I was thinking. I was still in the process of removing the image of his rotting corpse in my bed out of my head along with the Volturi that once surrounded me in this room. But I couldn't tell him about that, even if I tried. He wouldn't believe me - he'd think I'd lost a part of my mind somewhere in the resurrection process. But I knew that I would confess my journey to Hell and back to him sooner or later. The problem was it was one of those disturbing memories that you can never forget and it can do more damage than good if I never told a soul.

I wasn't thinking straight, surely he could tell that. I knew that he was distressed and all but he wasn't an idiot. But the darkness in his eyes told a completely different story and it scared me.

"Jake-" I began and he let out a panicked sigh as he sat back, "things are going to be different now, you know that. With a daughter I have a brand new responsibility-"

"So what?" he snapped, "Six, seven years time she'll be gone. You're going to waste everything we've been through, everything we have in front of us for a kid that's not even gonna be here by the time it turns eight?"

I was silent then. I wanted to retaliate but nothing came, just silence. No words moved from my mouth, no words even circled in my head. I was right though, things _were _different now, real different. I had never seen her, I had never met her, I had never held her in my arms like a normal mother - but I loved her and this had proven my plan wrong. I should have known that stupid maternal instincts were bound to kick in at some point, I may be part vampire and tough on the outside but my heart and hormones weren't made of freakin' stone.

I had become everything that I hated, everything that I promised wouldn't happen. That little girl was a mission to save my life, she wasn't supposed to become my life. But she had.

Without even trying she had crawled into my heart and made it her home. Geez, I hadn't even met the girl!

But I could feel her. I could feel her breathing, her new, healthy heart beating somewhere and she was happy - and why shouldn't she be?

We had both been extremely lucky. Although we had been born into a family of demons, we were welcomed with open arms despite the messy path that trailed behind us. We were born into a family of _angelic_ demons. The best family possible, the strongest, the happiest, the kindest, the most loving and selfless family there was.

She had a guaranteed spot in my heart and it was a large part too. But there was of course still Jacob and he was still looking at me for a response.

I didn't know what to say to him. If I told him about my change of heart he might kill me right there and then because of everything it's put him through. But maybe it was for the best that I told him, maybe?

"Jacob, listen to me." I reached over for his hand and held it tightly. "I don't think I'll be giving her away anytime soon."

He snatched his hand back straight away - here we go...

He was silent for a few moments before he bluntly said. "What?"

"I know what you're thinking-"

"I'm thinking that you're not the same Renesmee that I watched die on this bed. What happened to your 'mission', huh? Or was that just crap to shut me up with? To make me agree with what you were doing-?"

"Jake-"

"Cos' I never agreed with it, Ness. Every time I laid next to you whilst you slept I considered getting Carlisle to sneak it out of you-"

"Jacob, that's horrible!"

"So is watching you die, Renesmee, So is sitting back whilst you wasted away behind that larger than life mountain you insisted was a baby."

"But I'm fine now. Look, I know I died, but I'm fine now - I'm alive-"

"Then why are you trying to break up with me?"

"Because you hate me now!" and then, everything just came out like verbal diarrhoea. "You were right, okay? You were right all along and I was just stupid and naive as usual. I've never thought about having kids Jacob because there was so much more I wanted to do before they happened. I have made my biggest mistake yet! But I'm not going to give her away! I will fight the world and even duel with the devil himself before I let those hybrids or anyone touch my baby. You don't care about her Jake because she has no relevance to you, but she does to me. She's my daughter. Before she was born, it was easy to envision her as a mission, as something in the background that would eventually disappear when the time was right. But I was wrong and I was selfish and careless. I am her mother, she is a living thing and she needs me. I'm breaking up with you because that's what I thought you wanted. As the mother of a child that isn't even yours - which might I add I am eternally sorry for - you won't want anything to do with me seeing as she'll take up my time and you hate her." I paused for a moment. "Is there anything I haven't covered?"

Then it was his turn to be silent and thoughtful. I wasn't sure how he would react to this one, I didn't try to hide anything this time - I was honest and they say that the truth hurts. The worst part was that I was dreading him agreeing to the break up. I loved him and I didn't want to lose him - then why was I trying to push him away?

After the longest few minutes recorded in history, he sighed and leant forward - was that a good sign?

"I knew this would happen." he said, bluntly, staring at my hand.

"And you didn't bother to tell me, why?"

"Because you would some how find a reason against it - that's why." then the faintest of smiles returned to his face. "You're stubborn like that."

"You know when you want something Renesmee Cullen, there's no doubting that. And you'll stop at nothing to get it. Even if it means risking your life."

He looked at me for little longer before he took my hand and his face came even closer.

"But I don't want you to leave me, ever. The two weeks we were apart were the worst weeks of my life, so far. Up until I lost you completely two days ago-"

"Can we just start over, please?" I sighed. "My second life has been pretty crap so far-"

But I didn't even manage to get everything out before he kissed me.

I took it as a 'yes' to a fresh start and I was so grateful. I didn't pull away this time, in fact I couldn't imagine anything worse than leaving him. And we stayed like that for a long time. We didn't separate until we heard the front door open.

"Who is it?" I asked him in a hushed voice. Whoever came in, they didn't speak. But after a while, as Jacob left my side to slowly near the door, I heard a hushed voice.

"It's Nahuel." he said, moving the door ajar.

"Where are the others?" I asked.

"Out. They all took the kid out to see the forest and just to get out the house really - they need it."

"And so do you, Jake. How long have you been up here for?"

"Since you died."

I titled my head and he knew that I was politely implying that he should get out.

As he made his way over to me, air from the hall, from the living room trailed with him. I could smell her. She was here, in this house, with me.

"Jake-" I sat up then and he reached for me as if I would fall off the bed. "She's here." a smile that I had never felt before fluttered onto my face. "My baby's here."

On my arm, I slowly removed the blood red tube. It stung a little, but not enough for me to care. As I tried to move he held me back slightly.

"Whoa, hold up - don't you think you should rest for while?"

"I've just spent the past two days resting in peace, I think I'll be fine." I shuffled off the bed and felt the cold floor hit my bare feet. Jacob never let me go, he held onto me even when I was clearly capable of standing on my own two feet.

Jacob held my hand as we slowly left the room. He was so used to helping me that he couldn't seem to get used to me supporting myself.

"I seriously think you should rest for a little longer, Ness." he said as we neared the stairs.

"Jacob, I'm fine - seriously." I sighed, trying to keep the scent of my daughter. "You don't even need to hold onto me, I can walk fine."

As we walked down the stairs, I heard Nahuel in the kitchen. He was talking to her, I just knew it. But he hushed for a while, then I heard him walk towards the living room. When he saw us, I wasn't sure if he was thrilled, surprised or horrified.

"Renesmee?" his face grew a shade paler. He looked at me as we reached the bottom step and then looked at Jacob, still in disbelief.

"I know this looks crazy-" Jake began.

"I think 'crazy' is the understatement of the century, Jacob. Trust me, I would know." he hurried over to us and was face to face with me in a second. His closeness took me by surprise and I stumbled back a little.

"How long has she been like this?"

"About fifteen minutes."

"But she's been dead for two days. How can she-"

"Nahuel, I'm right here. I'm not a zombie y'know. In fact I was more like a zombie before I died than I am now."

He stumbled back and used the couch for support.

"That can't be possible-"

"Look," said Jacob. "You're right, it shouldn't be possible but its happened and so let's just be thankful for that."

But Nahuel still looked like he'd just seen a ghost bite someone's head off.

"Nahuel, listen-" I went to reassure him but I was interrupted by a small giggle coming from the kitchen. I looked in its direction and I'd completely forgotten what I was going to say to Nahuel in the first place. Instead I floated past him towards the sound. The closer I got, the stronger her scent was and it was just... Magnificent. She smelt like flowers, like roses. Most of all, she smelt new, innocent and beautiful. Given my family's condition, I was the only baby in this family and so I'd never really been around children before except from Toby, Sam and Emily's son.

I practically threw myself into the kitchen and... And there she was. Something happened to me then, I didn't know what it was but something changed in me. It was a new sensation, but I could remember feeling something similar before. I'd felt it the night of my eighteenth birthday - when Jacob told me about the imprint and I was relieved that my feelings for him weren't me going crazy. That night a new side of me was born. I saw my life in a whole new light.

Right now, the same thing was happening. But I wasn't sure how everyone else would react to my change of heart about her fate and I didn't know if they'd even let me do it. But the one thing I couldn't be more sure of - she was the greatest mistake I had ever made.

Although she looked a lot like me, there was no doubting she had Nahuel's genetics too. And I sort of resented that. But she was beautiful and amazing and perfect and then she looked at me. Her eyes were just breathtaking.

Her big, brown eyes were aglow with purity and I felt myself steadily reach for the floor for some sort of support.

I kneeled opposite her and she looked at me with curiosity and with a hint of recognition. Her dark curls fell perfectly round her little rose cheeks, her skin a shade or two darker than mine. She held an apple to her mouth in her small hands and she held a kiss to its skin as she watched me.

I was speechless.

This girl, this perfect little creature was mine, my own creation. And I vowed to protect her, to nurture her, to love her and give her the best life possible. She was unique and I felt like nothing compared to her. I felt weak and stupid and ugly in comparison to this glorious little girl sitting opposite me. There were no other words to describe her other than perfect.

Just then, Nahuel entered and passed me to get to her.

"Renesmee, I'd like you to meet Sapphire, your daughter." then he crouched down next to her. "Are you going to say 'hello' to mommy?" he asked her. She looked at him for a moment then handed the big apple to him.

She wasn't walking yet and so she rolled forward and eagerly crawled over to me. When she nearly reached me she stretched a hand forward to touch me and at that I reached forward and pulled her little body into my arms.

She wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder, gripping onto my curls.

"Hi." I whispered to her. She nuzzled her face into my neck and made some noise which I guessed was meant to be 'hi' too. After a while she pulled her head off my shoulder and looked at me. I couldn't wipe the astonished smile off my face and so she smiled at me with perfect whites. I only smiled more and then she kissed me on the cheek before resting her head on my shoulder again.

I wanted to cry.

I couldn't believe that she was the same baby that had been inside me for the past month. As her limbs began to relax around me I rested my cheek on her head.

"You're so beautiful." I told her. "And I promise that I will love you, care for you and protect you for as long as I live. You are the most precious thing in the world. My little Sapphire."

**I just fell in love with Sapphire all over again ^_^**

**I hope you guys did too!**

**Please review!**


	17. Hunted

**Okay, here's the next chapter! :)**

**Enjoy!**

**Hunted**

I SAT HER ON THE COUNTER AND JUST WATCHED HER. SHE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe how this little wonder was the same wonder I was carrying inside me. The same one who couldn't decided what she wanted to eat.

She reached forward for the apple that stood on another counter and Nahuel picked it up for her.

"Here you go, Angel." he smiled as she clasped her small hands around the apple. She opened wide and managed to take a small but deep chunk out of the fruit.

"Holy hell." I mumbled. "Those are some impressive teeth."

Nahuel gave a short laugh and then looked at me. "I can't believe you're alive." he sighed. "How did you do it?"

I shrugged, "Eat my greens, brush my teeth and don't smoke."

He grinned. "Seriously now."

I sighed. "I don't know- well, no, I _do_ know. It's just complicated and you'll probably think I'm crazy too. As well as banning me from seeing our child because of how insane I am-"

"Actually, Renesmee-" he said, turning serious. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about. It was a decision I made before Sapphire was born. Obviously, when you passed away I went against that decision - I had to, but now I want to stick to it again."

"What is it?"

"I understand better than anybody that this situation is both joyous and excruciatingly difficult and awkward." he stated. "So, I thought that maybe it would be best if she never knew that I was her father. I'm not saying that I'm going to pack my bags and leave you to deal with everything. What I'm saying is that maybe it would be better if I was never labelled as 'father' to her-"

"But what about the birth certificate?"

"Unknown. Your name is on there, but the father remains blank."

"Nahuel- I don't know if thats a good idea-"

"Renesmee, admit it. Ever since this happen your life had turned to cra- bad."

I grinned at his censoring attempt. "Yes, I'll admit it's been rough, but still-"

"I think you should agree to this. I will stay with her for as long as you and whenever you need me. Maybe I could stay here for the first year, then I'll need to return home at some point-"

"Of course."

"But I just think that it would make the situation better." he said.

I sighed and looked at Sapphire again. I noticed then that she had my eyes, in fact, there was a lot of me in her. But she had darker skin and darker hair, like Nahuel.

"But-" I said, quietly. "You should be on there Nahuel. She doesn't need to see the certificate, she'll never know-"

"If she'll never know then why do I need to be on there?"

"Because I will lie about things, Nahuel, everybody lies. But this is important. I know that you never saw your mother, and your dad... Well... Not the greatest father figure of all time. I understand that we've had completely different upbringings and that as far as parenting goes I grew up and was raised by both my parents, you weren't. If you're thinking of appearing like an uncle to her, can I suggest you don't? I mean, if she's anything like her mother, she will find out the truth someday and if she's definitely anything like me she'll flip out over it. I know how I would react if I found out Edward wasn't actually my father - mainly cos' there is only one other man on this earth who could've been my father." I didn't say anymore because I could feel the word making my stomach twist.

He sighed. "Look, just think about - alright? If you still feel the same way in a month or so, then I'll put my name down and you can be happy. But until then, she's only learning 'Momma', 'Grampa' and 'Grandma' and maybe 'Nahuel' if she's that smart."

I smiled and out the corner of my eye I saw Jacob linger in the doorway. Sapphire reached forward and held my hand. I looked over at her and she was smiling the widest, most beautiful smile I had ever seen.

"You're so beautiful." I whispered to her and kissed her forehead.

"Nahuel, can you keep an eye on her, please?"

"Of course."

And I left the two of them. As I passed Jacob, I grabbed his hand and pulled him with me, into the living room.

"Jacob, _please_ stop looking at her as if she's the spawn of Satan. She's not going to hurt you - we've been through this-"

"That's not what I'm looking at." he said. "I'm looking at what it's made of you."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that she's changed you. She's charmed you into loving her.-"

"It's not a curse or a power that she has, Jacob." I sighed. "You wouldn't understand-"

"I think it's sort of adorable."

I looked at him, amazed. "What?"

"The way you are around her, it's a beautiful side of you. One that I've never seem before."

A smiled eased its way onto my face. "Seriously?"

He nodded. "I still don't want her near me. But I like watching you with her. It's like you in a whole new light."

"That's oddly sweet of you."

"But, I guess I need to hand half of you over to her?"

"She _is _my daughter, Jake - that was weird."

"What was?"

"Well, I have a _daughter_ - I mean, isn't that weird to think?"

He scoffed. "You have no idea."

I smiled widely at him and just took at step into his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly round me and kissed my head before resting his cheek on my head. My arms were pinned between our chests, but I didn't mind. It was nice that we weren't arguing for once and just standing in a warm embrace. There was no more fear of my days being numbered, no more dying, no more being dead, no more resentment... Just bliss.

That was until I was reminded of the hybrids that were searching for me.

Then the front door opened.

"Jake-" I heard my mother's voice, a lot quieter and rougher than usual. "You're finally out of Carlisle's office." Jacob looked over his shoulder at her and his hug loosened. I poked my head around him and saw Bella, who looked nearly as ill as I did before I died. Her face fell into shock.

"R-Renesmee?" she stuttered.

"Mom." I smiled and left Jacob to run into my mother's arms. It felt so good being in the arms of a vampire, I had missed it.

I gripped onto her shirt and my tears started to stain her clothes. Not long ago had I thought that I would never see my mom or my family ever again. And here we were.

As we stood huddled together, my name was said repeatedly around us by different people. I recognised every voice and each one I felt I hadn't heard in a thousand years.

An hour later, I was sat with a sleeping Sapphire in my arms, on the couch, whilst my family sat and stood around me with Seth, Nahuel and Jacob.

Bella sat next to me and we watched Sapphire sleep. A curl fell across her face and I gently tucked it behind her little ear. I could feel her heart beating next to mine in a soft, slow rhythm. It was like a lullaby to me.

I rested my cheek on her soft hair and watched as her hand around my fingers tightened and loosened with her coming and going dreams.

"She reminds me so much if you." smiled Bella. As I smiled at her, one of my curls fell across my face, but before I could move she took the curl and tucked it behind my ear.

"She's perfect. She's-" I paused for a moment. "-everything I wanted."

Rosalie was sat on the other side of me and she gently stroked Sapphire's hair.

"So beautiful." she whispered with a wide smile.

"Yes." said Carlisle with a far more serious tone. "It will be a shame to give her away."

I felt my grip on Sapphire suddenly tighten. I would have to tell them of my new plan, but there was no doubt they wouldn't take kindly to it.

"Renesmee-" said Edward, "Is there something you'd like to share?"

I looked at him and sighed. "Look, I just don't think-"

"Renesmee?" I heard Claire's panicked voice behind me as she burst thought the door. Sapphire jolted in my lap and her eyes shot open.

Claire came round and was in tears when she saw me.

"Oh my-!" she came over and one of her arms separated Sapphire from my chest as she threw herself at me for a hug. "I thought you were dead." she cried into my shoulder. "You _were _dead. H-how?" she let go of me and perched on the coffee table behind her. When Claire sat, a startled Sapphire looked up at me on the verge of tears.

"Oh, sweetie, shhh, don't cry." I held her close to my chest and she hid her face in my shirt.

"Oh," said Claire, wiping away her tears. "Was she sleeping? Did I scare her?"

"I think you just startled her and she's a little disorientated. It's alright, she'll come around."

"She's so... Not what I expected."

I looked at her with slightly narrowed eyes. "What do you mean she's not what you expected? What were you expecting? Fangs? Devil horns?"

"No. I just... I don't know." she trailed off, looking at the back of Sapphire's head who was still pinned against my chest. Then she sighed, "I was expecting her to be smaller considering she's only two days old and... I don't know... There's just something about her that's not right."

"What? She's perfect, there's nothing wrong with her, Claire."

"Look at her, Renesmee. I don't know what it is, but something just seems strange about her."

"_Claire-_"

"There's no denying that she's beautiful and perfect, just like her mother." she smiled. "But... I don't know. There's just something strange about her."

I was starting to tense up around Claire. Bella put a hand on my arm.

"Like mother like daughter then." she smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

Sapphire was asleep in my arms again and I could hear her breathing this time.

"I think somebody wants to go to bed." said Esme with her sweet smile.

I had been slightly hesitant in sleeping in my bed that night. Considering that the last time I was there I watched a rotting Jacob hold our hearts in his hands, it didn't surprise me that it was hard.

But before I slept, I watched Sapphire sleep some more. Well, I wasn't just watching her sleep, I was looking at her and trying to figure out what Claire was talking about earlier.

_There's just something strange about her_.

Of _course_ there was something strange about her - she was half vampire! You couldn't get much weirder than that. But I knew that Claire was on to something, she had that look in her eye. It was just a shame that I couldn't share that suspicion.

Or maybe it was the fact that I was her mother that made me so oblivious to whatever Claire was talking about. Maybe it had blinded me.

She was a little girl.

She was little Sapphire.

She was my little Sapphire and that's all I saw in her.

"Ness?" Jacob gently nudged my shoulder as I slowly began to regain consciousness. As I opened my eyes, I looked out the window to find a red line of sky skimming the tree tops. Sapphire was fast asleep in her crib.

I looked over my shoulder at him through hazy vision.

"Morning," he smiled. "How're you feelin'?"

I sniffed and turned onto my back. "Alright... I think."

"Good." he stroked my cheek and I sat up.

"What time is it?"

"Crack of dawn."

I stared at him with a lazy frown. "Why did you wake me up?" then I turned on full alert. "What's happened? Is everything okay?"

He grinned. "Everything's fine. I just wanted to see if you wanted to go on an early hunting trip. I think you need it."

My jaw dropped slightly. "Are you serious? You mean, I can leave this house?"

"Yeah, but I'm coming with you and you can't ever go out of sight, alright?"

"Okay," I smiled as a burst of excitement ran through my veins. "But, what about Sapphire?"

"Blondie's here, along with everyone else. So, don't worry, she'll be in good hands."

I scoffed. "That's an oddly nice thing for you to say about Rosalie."

"I wasn't talking about her, I was talking about the 'everyone else'." then he looked in Sapphire's direction. "C'mon, we'd better get going before it wakes up."

"_She_, Jacob, _She_."

I could remember being in the forest at this early hour. I could remember many times that I'd been out here until late hours, but never at the break of dawn. There was a strange guilt that rushed through me when I left the house that morning. I didn't like the idea of leaving Sapphire, of course I knew that I could trust my family with her, it was just that I wanted to be with her when she woke. But even I had to admit to myself that I was craving the surge and adrenaline of hunting. It had been so long that I'd even left the house, let alone hunted.

We were half a mile or so into the forest when Jacob phased and I let my instincts take over...

A few seconds in running and I caught the scent of a deer. I latched onto the smell and followed it, tearing completely away from Jacob. But at that point, I was too desperate for blood to consider my promise to never leave his side during this hunt.

I spotted the deer, but didn't stop to hunt it down, I just dived for it. It was a technique that I wasn't really used to. I was used to creating a perimeter around the prey and then cornering it before killing it. But this time, I just didn't care.

As the deer yelped in pain, I snapped its neck and the crunch of the break was followed by a vicious snarl far behind me.

I knew straight away it was Jacob.

"Jake?" I called, standing up. I turned my back on the dead deer and looked through the trees.

I couldn't see anything.

As the silence dragged on, I heard another snarl, followed by a high yelp.

"Jacob!" I started to run in his direction, but before I could get very far, everything happened in a blur.

Suddenly, I was being pulled back by something - hands. I tried to wrestle free, but then another pair of hands came at me from in front.

"Get off me!" I screamed at them.

"Now, now - we can do this the easy way or the hard way." said a gruff male voice, one that I didn't recognise. As I struggled, there was a spark of hope in me. I had hope that any moment now, Jacob would pounce and rip these people's heads off and everything would be fine.

But he didn't show.

He never did pounce.

I didn't even hear his angering growl near us.

"Jacob!" I screamed for him this time.

But the second I screamed, something hard hit me across the head and my vision fell into complete darkness.

**I think I might do 2 versions of this chapter - this being one of them, the other being much darker and disturbing at the end :)**

**I don't know... I'll think on that :)**

**Anyway! Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Let me know what you think :) Please Review!**


	18. Grimsey

**Okay, here's the next chapter! :)**

**Enjoy!**

**Grimsey**

I WAS SCARED TO OPEN MY EYES WHEN I WOKE. I FELT SOFTNESS underneath me, which was welcoming - it almost felt like my bed. That was when I opened my eyes, only to find disappointment.

I was anywhere but home.

Oh god, where was I?

I felt my body to find my clothes still on and I didn't seem to be hurt in any way, except from a throb that came from the side of my head.

Where was Jacob? Oh Jacob. What did they do to him? Was he here too?

Don't let them find her. Jacob, if you're still in Forks, please don't let them find little Sapphire.

Nahuel, they're close, take Sapphire home with you and keep her safe.

But what if they already had Sapphire? Could they? Maybe they took her after they took me.

No. No. No!

Not Sapphire, not my baby.

She's only young, she's so small and innocent. As far as she knows, the world is still a wonder and no evil inhabits it. I could still remember the days when I thought the same way. Those were days before everything got complicated and I vowed that life would be different for her, no complications, no hurt, no threat, no danger - only love and care, nothing less. The thought of them finding her made me want to cry.

As tears began to fill my eyes, I sat up and wiped them away.

The room was cold and looked as if it was entirely made of wood. The door must have been the same wood and shape as the walls - it blended in. Either that or there was no door and I teleported here. It was dark in there and the only light source was a little candle in the corner of the room. I had been put on a scruffy double bed and I could feel the splinters on the bed sheet.

"What the hell-?" I felt a small lump under the sheets and slid my hand under it to feel something fluffy. When I pulled my hand out, a mouse with decaying flesh sagged in my hand.

"Ah!" I squealed and threw it at the floor. Parts of its guts broke through the skin as it collided with the floor. A vile stench radiated off the bed after that. I stood and gently traced the bed frame with the tips of my fingers.

On the opposite side of the room was a large wardrobe and and bowl of water. I walked over to it and studied the water for a moment... Was that water healthy? Not that I wanted to drink it... I just wanted to get rid of the dead mouse germs on my hand.

The water didn't look that clean, but it HAD to be better than dead mouse, right? I dunked my hands in the water and rubbed together quickly, splashing

I couldn't believe they had found me.

After being locked away in my house for so long... Now... I was here, on Grimsey Island, hundreds of miles away from home and without my little Sapphire.

I thought we were safe.

... I thought wrong, again.

I started to cry again, how the hell was I meant to get home THIS time?

Just then, I heard movement behind me and some men walked in through an embedded door.

"Ah, you're awake." said the one in front. He had long brown hair and was tall and lean. His nose was sharp, his jaw strong and he was very handsome - he scared me a little.

"Sorry for the intrusion." he grinned and stepped towards me, I flinched back and he froze. "Oh, don't be afraid, we're not going to hurt you-"

"-As long as you do what we say." someone interrupted him and the small group of men separated to let a new face in. He looked better groomed than his fellow... Hybrids?

"You have a role being here and as long as you are here, we- I am your master and you do as I say - understood?" his voice scared me. In fact, everything about him scared me.

"W-who are you?" I asked, backing away from him.

"I am Sage, and your name-?" he stopped himself. "Actually, your name doesn't matter. We'll name you something - Amelia. Your new name is Amelia. I'll find it easier to remember if I chose it."

"My name's Renesmee." I stuttered.

"Well, that's wonderful, but now your name is Amelia." in a fraction of a second he was stood face to face with me, his nose nearly touching mine. "Understood?"

I tried to get away but he grabbed my arms and started to stroke my cheek. I squirmed in his clutch and he held me even tighter.

"You're not going to make this difficult, are you?" he asked as more tears silently fell down my face.

"Because, that wouldn't be very nice - would it? Well, not for you anyway. For your sake, I would do as we ask if I were you. We only need you for one thing, we don't want your life, your trust or your love, Amelia - just your body."

I felt my stomach turn and was sure I was going to vomit on him. But before he could provoke me any further, another person joined us who looked only about twelve.

"Sage, they've found another one!" he cried.

Sage smiled and spoke to him, still looking at me. "Wonderful, is she as beautiful as this one?" he asked.

"She's stunning, sir, but there is one little problem with her-"

"Enough!" he snapped. "I'm coming. Amelia, you can stay here - Lucas - watch her. But.. Don't touch her... That's my job."

He turned and looked at the long haired one who had spoken to me before. He nodded and stood aside as the others piled out the room and shut the door behind them... Leaving me alone with him. My heart was pounding in my throat and I was still pinning myself against the wall.

"Please, sit down." he said as he sat on the edge of the bed. "You heard Sage, I'm not allowed to touch you."

I didn't speak.

He sighed "Renesmee, isn't it? Would you feel better if I addressed you as that?"

I didn't speak.

"Oh, for god sake!" he stood and I flinched. "Speak! Are you in capable of speaking-?"

"Do you have _any_ idea how traumatic this is for me!" I screamed at him. "I was taken from my family just to be used as some kind of baby machine, to be stripped of my dignity - do you have any idea how that feels?"

"You were stuck with vampires. We _saved _you, you should be thanking us-"

"They're my family!" I yelled at him. "I love them! They weren't holding me hostage or anything."

He looked at me, in shock. "How can you say that? How can you love something as monstrous as them."

"How can you be so hypocritical?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Do you have any idea what the vampires did to our kind? They created us and abused us-"

"And then you just had to start a war with them?" I said, "Well, if you're so pissed at them for killing your kind then here's some advice - don't set yourself up for a battle that you're never going to win. Plus, my family weren't involved, so it's not their fault that you were abused-"

"The vampires think they're better than us-"

"-Because they _are_ better than you! Look at how low you have stooped, you've gotten to the point where you're so desperate for hybrids that you're willing to rape people to get them. The vampires don't do that." I moved to the other side of the room from him.

"I want to go home." I told him. "Not that you care."

"I'm sure you want to go home... But you're not going anywhere so you might as well stop complaining and learn to accept here."

"I will get out, Lucas - is it? I will get out, I always do. One way or another."

He scoffed, "Good luck with that. There are thousands of hybrids out there that will stop you. If you manage to get past them then... You have my respect. But you won't get through them."

"Why not?"

"Because you're a girl, you can't get through that many men - its impossible."

I narrowed my eyes at him and then shot around to grab him by the neck. "Because I'm a _girl_? Oh, you picked the wrong girl to be sexist about, trust me. I have done things that you can't imagine, on my own, without the help of anyone. Give me one good reason as to why I shouldn't break your head from your body right now."

"B-because I have the key out of this room."

I grinned. "So, I'll kill you and then take the key."

"You need identity. Everyone knows who you are, you have no chance of getting out unless you're escorted by one of us."

"How long have I been here?" I asked.

He shrugged, "A few days. They knocked you out pretty hard. You've still got the bruise on your head."

I walked away from him again and headed over to the bowl of water again.

"When they brought me here, did they mention a wolf?" I asked.

He was silent for a moment, "Er, yeah, I think so. Why?"

"What did they say?"

"Something about beating it. They think they killed it, but they weren't sure, so they left it to grab you before you go away."

I felt my knees buckle and I collapsed to the floor. "You're lying! Please tell me you're lying!"

"I- I'm just repeating what I was told. Why do you care? It's only an animal."

"He's not just a wolf. That's my fiancé."

A look of disgust appeared on his face. "You're marrying an... Animal?"

I sighed. "He's a werewolf!"

"Oh."

"Yes, oh. And now... No... He can't be gone. Jacob..."

"He might not be dead. He might have just been unconscious." he reassured me.

"But-" but I stopped myself. He was _reassuring _me that Jacob was alright.

I sat on the floor and cried. Even when Lucas tried to get me to shut up and told me to stop crying, I still cried. I might never see Jacob again, either because he's dead or I'm not getting out of.

Two days passed and I began to miss daylight. I missed a lot of things. I missed all things clean, the light, fresh air... I missed life. I hadn't slept since being there and I was exhausted from crying and hurting. Lucas had told me that morning that Sage was going to give a speech with all his female hybrids at his side, which meant that I was finally going to see the outside of this room. I had been given new clothes to wear and they were horrible. I had to wear some strange black dress that itched like hell.

As I stood in the corner of the room and waited to be escorted out, the door opened and my heart sank at the thought of standing up in front of my thousands of capturers. I looked down at my dress and patted it in disgust.

"I didn't know rags were in this season." said a voice that wasn't Lucas's. I looked up and in the faint glow of the candle light, I could make out Nahuel standing by the door.

"Nahuel!" I raced over to him and threw my arms around him. I couldn't believe he was actually here.

"Renesmee, are you alright? Did they hurt you?" he asked, pulling me away from him, then he looked at my head. "They hit you."

"That was just to knock me out in the forest. What are you-?"

"We're here to help you." he told me.

"We?" I asked, a flutter of hope bloomed inside me. Just then, someone else came in, someone I wasn't expecting.

"Okay, the guards out here are dead now." said Annabel. "We need to go, quickly."

"Annabel? Long time, no see."

She smiled. "Well, I figured that with everything going on with the pregnancy, I was probably the last person you wanted to see."

"I was so scared out of my life that I probably wouldn't have noticed." I told her.

"Okay, you two can play catch up later, right now we need to leave before they come for you." said Nahuel, reaching for my hand and pulling me out the room.

The three of us ran down a long corridor. The walls were stone and so was the floor; out footsteps echoed what felt like miles behind us.

"Annabel," said Nahuel. "Are you coming with us?"

"No, I can already hear them nearing us. I'll take the east wing whilst you two run."

I stopped running and they stopped with me.

"You can't take them on your own, Annabel." I told her. "They're are a lot more of them than what you think."

She titled her head. "Renesmee, you let me into your family so that I could be tamed, you have done more for me than what you think - its the very least I can do. Plus, I'm a newborn, they don't stand a chance."

"How did you two get in?" I asked.

"I pretended that I was joining them." said Nahuel. "The more, the merrier."

"And I told them that I was changed by Leonardo as an assistant, so they saw me as being on their side. The others are waiting outside The Wall."

"Others?" I repeated.

She nodded. "You think your family just sent us to find you? Of course not. They're all waiting outside. They're waiting for the right time."

"Is Jacob there?" I asked.

She scoffed. "Of _course_ he is."

"So, he didn't die in the forest?"

"No. He was injured, but he healed and came round again before searching for you further and then returning home."

I looked at Nahuel. "And Sapphire?"

"We left her with your friend, Claire. She offered to look after her whilst we came for you." he smiled. A sigh of relief passed my lips.

"Thank god-" we heard the sound of roars of anger echoing from down the corridor.

We were trapped.

"You two, hide. I'll take them." said Annabel. She looked around in a panic. "There! Hide in there until the coast is clear." there was a deep hole in the wall behind one of the columns. Nahuel didn't hesitate to hide me in there.

It was deeper than I thought, and very dark. He pinned me against the very back of the hole so it would have been impossible for the hybrids to see us.

I heard Annabel collide with the hybrids down the hall, they were yelling all sorts of insults at her as they tried to kill her.

"Renesmee, I need to talk to you." Nahuel tried to talk over the roar of battle.

"Can't we talk later-?"

"-No, there might not be a later for me."

"Don't talk like that! We will make it out if this - all of us, I promise." tears started to threaten as he put a hand to my cheek.

"Please, for Sapphire's sake let me talk to you now."

"What do you mean for Sapphire's sake?" I narrowed my eyes at him. "What about her?"

"I haven't been completely honest with you, Renesmee and I'm so sorry."

"Nahuel! What are you talking about?"

"I didn't get you pregnant, Renesmee." he blurted out.

My heart stopped. My stomach dropped. Those tears that threatened, now fell.

"W-what?" I stuttered.

"That's why I didn't put my name on the birth certificate." he told me. "Let me explain. Originally, I was more than happy to help you in anyway that I could. But, on the night that Sapphire was 'conceived', I saw the look on your face. I saw the guilt, the sick look on your face. I also knew that after that night, your life wouldn't only get worse if I impregnated you. I figured that if I didn't get you pregnant then it would give you more time to realise that this was a bad idea and would change your mind. But, my plan failed, because you were already pregnant before I had you."

Jacob was Sapphire's father. But... How-?... The beach. Of course, the night before Nahuel arrived, I spent the night with Jacob at the beach and one thing led to another.

Nahuel continued. "Why do you think you love her so much? You, without even thinking, saw Jacob in her, but your logic was telling you that those dark eyes, dark hair and dark skin of hers were _my _genetics. But they weren't. They're Jacob's dark skin, dark eyes and dark hair - not mine."

"W-why didn't you say anything?" I asked,

"If I told you the truth then you never would have given the child away, not that you gave her away anyway."

"You were going to let me give Jacob's child away?" I started to raise my voice.

"Renesmee, please, don't be angry. Isn't this a good thing? You won't be stuck with a child for the rest of your life who's father you have no interest in. You can be a family, you, Jacob and Sapphire, a real family-"

"He _hates_ her, Nahuel!" I cried. "How can we be a normal family when Jacob can't do anything more than look at her without feeling resentment towards her?"

"Renesmee, once he knows the truth, he'll learn to love her - I know he will."

"You don't know him. He's scared of her."

"Scared? But she's only an infant... She's hardly going to kill him."

"It's not her that he's scared of, it's her gift." I sighed. "Jacob's been through a lot in his life and he's scared that if he touches her she'll show it to him again, maybe she'll make it worse."

"It's all about the mood, Renesmee. What she shows people is a reflection of the atmosphere she's around. That was why she always showed you negative things, it was because she was scared for you, she was scared for everyone. She went back to negativity once you'd been taken." then he let out a long sigh. "You have no idea how much that little girl loves you, Renesmee."

"And you have no idea how much I love her, she's my world now."

He smiled and the roars down the hall died down. He grabbed my hand.

"Come on. We have to get out quick!"

We moved out from behind the column and carried on running down the hall.

"Where are we going?" I asked as we ran.

"Entrance doors, just keep running!"

We took a left and three rights before I heard a sound that made me freeze over. A crying. A baby crying, or at least whimpering.

"Nahuel, do you hear that?" I whispered. The longer I listened, the more I recognised it. "Sapphire. I thought you said she was with Claire?"

"She was."

We both had a surge of panic as we ran back, towards the crying. As we got closer, I heard a voice trying to shush her. Nahuel made me stop in case it was a hybrid, but that thought was what made me barge past him and turn the corner.

The second I turned, I wanted to cry. Down the next hallway was Jacob, pinned against the wall with Sapphire in his arms. He was looking in the opposite direction from me and he stroked her dark hair as he tried to sooth her.

She whimpered and held onto him tightly. Then, she turned her head in my direction.

Her eyes lit up. "Ma!" she cried and reached a small hand out for me. Jacob turned then and I rushed forward as he nearly dropped her.

"Ness? You're okay?" I took Sapphire into my arms and nestled into Jacob's chest as he put his arms around me.

"I thought I'd lost you for good." he said as I rested my head on his shoulder,

"I know, I'm so sorry. They hurt you, didn't they?" I asked. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, but what about you- holy hell, what did they hit you with?" he looked at my bruise for a long while before he kissed it. "I'm so sorry, Ness. I wasn't quick enough."

"Jacob, you told me not to run out of your sight, and I did, for that I'm sorry - its my fault."

It was then when Nahuel interrupted. "Look, you can both argue over who's fault it was later. Right now, you need to get out-"

Just then, more yells and roars sounded down the corridor.

"Uh-oh." said Sapphire in a voice that would usually have made me smile, but right now, I was too scared to smile.

"Both of you, run." said Nahuel. "Run to the entrance doors and cut across the square to the gates, they should be open, once you're on the other side of The Wall, get down to the boat, understood?"

"Nahuel, wait! What about you?" I reached for him as he started in the other direction.

He smiled. "I'll see you on the other side." and he left.

"Nahuel!" I called. "WAIT-!"

"Ness, he's gone, come on, we need to get out of here."

"But-"

"We don't have time, come on!" as he took my hand, I looked down at Sapphire who was looking up at me with her big brown eyes. She stared at me in awe for a while before a little smile came onto her face. She raised her hand and put it to my cheek.

Everything went black.

Great.

Perfect timing, Sapphire.

But I could soon see again.

I'm in my kitchen and this memory already feels familiar. Sapphire sits in front of me on the counter with an apple that looks giant in her small hands. She giggles and puts the apple to her mouth and takes a large bit. She sets the apple down and opens her arms for me and she says "I love you, Momma." and smiles. I reached forward for her and pull her into my arms. As I turn, I see Jacob behind me. He's standing, smiling down at Sapphire and he kisses her head.

As he pulls back, she reaches her hands forward for him. He takes her, and I let him. He takes her in his hands and raises her above his head and acts as if she's a rocket or something. I'm smiling so much that it hurts my cheeks, but I can't help it.

Then I realised... This is what I want. I want this. I want my small family. It was all clear to me now.

Sapphire's giggle faded away as the darkness returned and suddenly, we were on Grimsey Island again. If I wanted that family, then I needed to do everything I could now to save it.

"Let's go!" I said to him and we ran. I kept Sapphire tight against my chest to make sure she didn't fall.

"You run ahead." said Jacob. "I'll be there in a second."

I skidded to a halt and turned. "Jake-?"

But he hadn't been joking about that second, by the time I'd stopped and turned, Jacob was gone and a large russet brown wolf stood in his place.

He slowly approached us.

"Rawr!" Sapphire made an adorable sound and clawed her small fingers to impersonate Jacob. I smiled for a brief moment before returning to reality and realising that we needed to run.

The entrance doors weren't too hard to find, all we needed to do was follow the screams and roars of chaos. I dreaded opening those doors, but that seemed to be our only way out according to Nahuel.

Sapphire was holding into me tightly when we came face to face with the large, thick wooden doors. Jacob stood ready at my side.

I opened them.

Chaos. Nothing but chaos, battle and death. Purple flames we scattered around like checkers. Weapons and limbs flew. It was a blood bath and I needs to get my daughter through that, unharmed. Before I could even speak, Jacob. Bolted forward and started to clear a path for us, ripping to shreds the hybrids who stood in our way. The odd ones he missed I tried hard to keep away by manipulating their minds into have other motives.

As we moved through the crowds I saw people that I recognised... Not everyone here was a hybrid. There were more vampires here than just my family. I saw Tanya duelling two hybrids. One pounced on her from behind, but a wolf ripped it off her. Leah.

The gates were getting closer and I could see some of my family there. I first saw Rosalie, then Esme and Jasper, then Alice.

_Get him._

_Kill the one to your left._

_Kill that group behind you._

These were all commands I was giving the hybrids that surrounded us.

"Renesmee!" Esme threw her arms around me as we approached them. "Are you alright? Did they hurt you-? Oh, goodness, look at that bruise."

"I'm fine, Esme." I smiled. I turned to look at the chaos behind me.

I noticed Nahuel in the crowd, fighting with another hybrid... And losing. I started to panic.

"Esme, take Sapphire for me." I pushed Sapphire into her arms and ran back.

"Renesmee! Come back!" she cried. But I didn't listen, I ran to him, to help him.

Behind me, I heard Jacob chasing after me.

I ran and I ran, as fast as I could.

"Nahuel!" I cried, only a few feet away from him.

Nahuel turned.

The hybrid stood behind him.

It flew.

It punched.

And a hole ran right through Nahuel's chest.

"NO!" I screamed.

I was too late.

The hybrid left Nahuel's dying body as it dropped to the ground and shook in pain.

"Nahuel! Nahuel!" I cried as I dropped beside him. I turned him onto his back and he was shaking uncontrollably. I put a hand to his cheek.

"Nahuel, can you hear me?"

"R-Renesmee?" he steadily looked at me.

"Yes, I'm here. I'm going to help you, okay? You're going to be alright-" he grabbed my arm.

"Renesmee, it's over for me." he whispered. "It's over for these guys too, in a day, it'll be just you and Sapphire."

Tears fell off my cheeks. "Nahuel, please..."

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this, but I'm g-glad that my last moments will be with one of the greatest people I've ever met."

"Nahuel, please, let me help you-"

"Renesmee, there's nothing you c-can do. Neither of us would be able to live long enough to heal from this, you know that." he took as deep a breath as he could. "I have always loved you, Renesmee Cullen. You can't make very good decisions, but nonetheless, you're smart, you're beautiful and you're a very strong girl who doesn't take crap from anyone - keep it like that. Raise your daughter to be like you and you and Jacob will have the perfect daught-"

His heart gave out before he could even finish his sentence.

"Nahuel?" I whimpered. "No." I cried harder and harder as I held him. "No!"

As I mourned the death of my friend, an icy hand was put on my shoulder. I turned to look up and found someone I wasn't expecting.

"You must leave now, young Renesmee." said Aro. "Your family are waiting for you."

He pulled me off of Nahuel's body and Jacob was at my side. Tears flooded down my cheeks and Jacob curled his head around me. I gripped tightly onto his fur and I made it wet with my crying.

I looked down at Nahuel's dead body through the tips of the wolf fur. His vacant eyes stared up at the bloody sky and his lips were slightly parted with blood on his lip.

I caught Aro's eye. He looked at me with sympathy and warning before he turned to help a vampire with seven hybrids attacking them all at once. Jacob forced me away from the fight and I held onto him as we dodged through the crowd.

I managed to keep them away from us with great concentration, Jacob had to practically be my legs because it took so much out of me to control this many people all at once.

When I saw how close the gates were, I lost concentration for a second, and that second was all it took for a hybrid to grab me from behind and pull me away from Jacob.

"Jacob!" I screamed as I was dragged across the sharp stoned floor. People's legs buckled, jumped, fell and ran around me - I was terrified of being stepped on. With the giant russet colored wolf chasing me, I kicked and squirmed in Sage's grasp.

Before I could move around to bite his hand he dropped to the floor, face down. He didn't try to support himself as he fell. But as I looked over my shoulder, I saw that he didn't actually have a head anymore.

Someone held a hand out for me, I followed up the arm of than hand, to the shoulder and then the face. Lucas was standing over me, holding a hand out to help me.

"You need to get out of here!" He tried to yell at me over the noise of destruction.

"Why are you helping me? You're supposed to want me here!" I yelled.

"You don't deserve this, Renesmee. I only went along with Sage's orders because, believe it or not, he would have killed me if I disobeyed him. Now _go_!"

"But-!" Jacob came between us and started to move me away. "Jake, wait!"

I struggled against Jacob but managed to keep Lucas's attention. "Lucas!" I screamed. "Come with us!"

His face flushed of color. "What?" I called back. "I can't-"

"Yes you can! We'll help you. Please! You're not like them! You're like me, you're like Nah-!" but I couldn't say his name. I felt the sudden urge to cry again, but I managed to resist.

"Lucas!"

"But you live with vampires, _pure _vampires!"

"They're not as bad as what you think!" I insisted. Then a new purple flame burst behind Lucas. He turned and saw it shimmer - that was the last straw for him. I held out my hand to him and he grabbed it.

"Let's go!" he said and the three of us ran back to the gates. I didn't care about my gift right now, I was too determined to get to the gates, to get to my little girl, to lose pace just trying to keep hybrids away.

They were all there. Not just my family, but Jacob's pack and Sam's too. Obviously everyone was in wolf form.

"Everyone, this is Lucas - he's good, he's coming with us. Lucas, this is everyone." I said. I saw Sapphire in Rosalie's arms now. As I reached for her, Rosalie turned and we all ran away from the... the city of the Hybrids.

I kept my eye on Sapphire the entire time we were running through the forest down to the shore. The light of fire and purple flames reflected off the trees and lit the small forest up in a bright glow, burning in a cold, wet fire.

As I began to hear the waves of the sea, I felt like I was back in La Push, running to the beach like I did so often with Jacob.

Jacob was running beside me, making sure that he was right there to help if I fell or anything.

A large boat was tied down on the water.

No wonder it took them so long to get here.

Carlisle, Edward and Emmett stopped at the water, "Everyone get on!" Carlisle ordered.

Jacob helped me onto the boat, as I stood there, waiting for the others to get on, I looked up at the bright purple, orange glow in the sky.

"I'm sorry, Nahuel." I whispered. "I just wasn't quick enough."

I took Sapphire from Rosalie and sat with her tightly in my arms.

"I'm never, ever letting you go again." I whispered into her soft hair. She grabbed onto me, tightly and she was shaking. She didn't understand, how could she? She was only small.

"I'm sorry, Sapphire, I am so, so sorry." I told her. "It won't happen again, I promise."

**So, this was a long chapter - but it essentially had the whole climax in it :D**

**Anyway! Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Please Review!**


	19. The Father, The Old and The Horizon

**Okay, here's the next chapter!**

**Enjoy!**

**The Father, The Old and The Horizon**

EVEN AFTER AN HOUR OF SAILING BACK TO THE MAINLAND, GRIMSEY AND IT'S glow was still visible. I sat with Sapphire, alone, towards the front of the boat whilst the others were either at the back or inside.

Sapphire tried to catch the setting sun in her hand. She cupped her hands and held it, then she made a noise of triumph. But then she pulled her hands back to kiss the sun, only to find it was gone again.

But to me, she _was_ the sun. She didn't need to catch the actual ball of fire to feel it, to be it. She was it. She was the sun of my day, everyday.

I'd gone round and introduced Lucas to everyone as we sailed away from the shore. They seemed to like him. The wolves had gone around the back of the boat to phase back and make themselves decent for an infant's eyes. Yeah, _this_ boat was big enough to fit _eleven oversized wolves _on it.

Lucas, surprisingly seemed to get on really well with Jasper, and with Quil and Embry. Everyone sensed that I was grieving over Nahuel's death, so they let me be alone, with my daughter.

What most of them thought - and most of them meaning all of them - was that Nahuel's small family were grieving, his daughter too. But, only I was grieving. After all, it turned out that Nahuel didn't actually _have_ a daughter.

I wasn't sure when I was going to tell Jacob. Maybe now would have been a good time. Or maybe not.

I wasn't sure. But I didn't want to hide it from him. If I could have, I would have told him the first time I saw him after Nahuel told me.

"I thought you didn't like sharing your family with outsiders?" Jacob slowly came up behind us and I flinched. "Sorry." he added as he knelt down beside me.

"I thought you were never going to touch Sapphire? You were carrying her for quite some time." I grinned.

"That was different." he insisted. "She was in danger and shouldn't have been there."

"Neither should Lucas."

"Lucas can take care of himself."

I raised an eyebrow. "So, you're fine for a psycho vampire to live with me, but a tamed hybrid vampire - no chance."

He didn't respond.

A gave a short laugh and nudged him. "Who's got green eyes _now_?"

He grinned. "I'm not jealous."

"No, of course you're not."

He looked at me and narrowed his eyes. "I'm _not_."

"No, I know."

He laughed and didn't bother arguing anymore. Then, after a few silent moments, he sighed. "Are you ever got to tell her the truth about her father?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, are you going to tell her that he's dead and y'know, _why _she was conceived in the first place?"

I sighed. "I haven't really thought about it. I don't want her to know about the Hyrbids, Jake. I don't want her to know about any of this, and I'm hoping she won't remember."

"She might remember Nahuel." he told me. "You never know, she wouldn't forget her own father."

A sick feeling rose in my stomach and that was when I knew I had to tell him now. Sapphire turned away from the sun and faced me full on. The sun tinted the tips of her dark hair and she looked at me with her big brown eyes.

And then, right then, I could see that she was Jacob's daughter - not Nahuel's. I could see his face in hers, I could even see my face in her.

She was _our _daughter.

Today, Sapphire hadn't lost her father, she'd lost a close and dear friend. But she hadn't lost her parents, they were sitting right in front of her and had no intention of letting her go again. Well, at least I didn't.

I sighed and turned my body slightly to face Jacob. "Jake, I need to talk to you about something."

Jacob straightened up a little and turned directly to me. "I'm here, what's up?"

"Nahuel didn't sign Sapphire's birth certificate."

His shoulders dropped. "Why not?"

"Well, the first thing he told me was that, given the circumstances, he didn't want to officialise anything because he thought that by not saying he's her father, he was making things seem less awkward."

"So..?"

"I'm not finished." I told him and took a deep breath. "Before Nahuel died, he told me the full honest truth. He didn't get me pregnant."

"What? Of course he did. What the hell did he mean he didn't get you pregnant?"

"The night Sapphire was meant to be conceived, he saw the look of regret and guilt on my face and... He didn't want to put me through it, so he thought that if he didn't get me pregnant and I saw that it didn't work, I would change my mind. But, it turns out that his planned failed because when he slept with me - I was already pregnant."

Jacob didn't say anything. He just stared at me. So I continued.

"Do you remember, the night before Nahuel arrived, we slept on the beach? And, _things _happened whilst we were in the water. Do you remember, Jake?"

He still didn't respond, but I saw the color shed from his face. I reached down and held his hand. "Jacob, please say something."

"A-are you serious?" he said quietly, looking at Sapphire.

"I'm as serious as it gets, Jacob. Sapphire is your daughter, she's _our _daughter. You're a _father._" I could feel the smile on my face widen the more I spoke and I could also see Jacob look more ill the more I spoke.

Sapphire reached her arms out for Jacob. It made me think of the vision she showed me, the one with the three of us in my kitchen.

Jacob looked at her for a long while and her arms never dropped.

"She will never hurt you, Jake. She loves you, she has from the very start. And even though you try to deny it, you love her too."

Sapphire smiled at him, "Da?"

I watched them both as Jacob took her into his arms and hugged her. I felt tears fill my eyes as I watched them. His silence before had worried me into thinking that he didn't want her and would never love her - but I underestimated him, I really did.

As I watched them, I noticed Jacob freeze over.

"Jake?" I frowned. "What's wrong?"

I touched his arm and he still didn't move.

"Jacob?"

No response.

"Jacob? What is it-?"

I shook him a little and he came round. He looked startled at first and it took him a while to adjust to his surroundings.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"It's weird." he said. "When she shows you things, I mean."

My eyes grew wide. "S-she showed you something? Well, what? What did she show you?"

"Us."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Us?" I repeated. "What about us?"

He looked at Sapphire and she smiled at him again. Then he sat her on his knee and she turned and looked out at the sunset again.

"She showed me us, as in, me and you. And then she showed me us, as in, the three of us. It's like she can show the past and the future."

I shook my head. "I don't think she can show the future, Jake. I think she can just show you what _you _want from your future. When she showed you us, she was showing you memories, right? - things that have already happened."

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, my theory is that possibly when I told you about Sapphire being your daughter, you imagined, even if only for a second, what it would be like if we were a family. A typical, _normal _family. Daddy, Mommy and baby Sapphire, am I right?"

He looked at me for a while and then nodded. "All I want is for you to be happy, Ness. If this is what makes you happy then-"

"_Happy_?" I scoffed. "Jake, when Nahuel told me that I had conceived _your _child, not his, inside I was ecstatic! He couldn't have told me anything better. If Nahuel had really been her father then she would be fatherless and I might have had to raise her to believe that you were her father. Someday, she would have found out the truth... And then she would have hated me forever." I started to stroke her hair and my hands fell effortlessly through her silky curls. She look up over her shoulder at me and smiled before resting her head against my chest.

Jacob smiled at her and then looked at me. "I don't think she could ever hate you, no matter who is or isn't her father or aunt or whatever - no matter what you do, she could never hate you. She loves you too much - look at her."

I looked down at her and she hand her little hand tightly clasped around my own.

"She _needs_ you and she _wants_ you." he insisted. Then he lifted a hand to stroke my cheek.

"And so do I." he added.

Long after the sun disappeared behind the horizon, Jacob and I took Sapphire round to the back of the boat where most of the wolves were, along with Annabel, Lucas and Jasper. I sat down with Sapphire next to the door of the cabin.

"So, how're those vampires coming along, Lucas?" I asked with a grin. "Have they killed you yet?"

He smiled and rolled his eyes at me. "Alright, alright... Maybe I judged harshly. You were right, not all vampires are mean." then he looked at Sapphire and leaned forward. "Hello, little one, I don't believe I've had the pleasure of meeting _you_." he smiled and held a hand out to her. "My name's Lucas and what's yours?"

She stared at his hand for a while and then smiled before throwing herself forward to hold a few of his fingers.

"This is Sapphire."

"Well, it's lovely to meet you, Sapphire. I'm sorry we took your big sister away for a while, she's all yours now-"

"-Daughter."

He looked at me. "What do you mean?"

"Sapphire's my daughter," I laughed. "Not my sister."

He raised an eyebrow. "_You_?" he said. "_You_ have a daughter?"

I nodded. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

Then he looked me up and down. "You don't exactly look like you've been pregnant - how old is she?"

"Less than a week old." I smiled.

His jaw dropped slightly. "Are you serious?"

"Hybrids age fast, Lucas - you know that."

He shrugged. "I actually, I don't. I can't remember my childhood - I barely had one and Grimsey has only ever had adults, never children."

I frowned and Sapphire continued to smile at Lucas. He grinned and leaned forward. "You're a little smiler, aren't you?" he tapped her cheek with his finger and smiled. She titled her head and giggled at his touch.

I smiled. "She really likes you." I told him, although I was sure he already knew that.

"Well, that's a relief - I really like her too. I've never been around children before. They're sweet."

"No." I smiled. "That's just her. No other little girl is like my little Sapphire."

Sapphire rested her head against my chest again and she yawned. I rested my cheek on her hand and Jacob stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"I think someone wants to go to bed." he said. Then Annabel stood.

"There's a little bed inside the cabin that she can sleep on. I'll take her, if you want - unless you want to put her to sleep?"

I secured Sapphire in my arms and stood to face Annabel. "It's okay, I'll take her." I smiled to Annabel and went to get the door, then I felt a hand against my back.

"Ness, I think maybe you should take a nap too. You look exhausted."

"I _feel _exhausted. But I'm fine, really. I'll just put her to sleep and I'll be back!"

"Ness-" he came closer to me and he lowered his head. "Go get some sleep - its still a long journey back. You _need _sleep, now go on. Don't worry, we'll all still be here when you wake up."

I stepped into the cabin and found my parents with Carlisle and Esme. Bella came over to me without a second thought and wrapped her arms around me and Sapphire.

"Are you okay?" she whispered to me. "Did they hurt you?"

I shook my head, but then her eyes fell on a few bruises and marks on my arm. A majority of those were from when I'd been taken in the forest, but some were recent.

"What did they do to you?"

I looked at her and tried to fight the tears that were threatening. "They would sometimes get rough when I refused to do what they wanted."

She held my face for a few moments before pulling me back into her arms. "I'm so sorry, Renesmee. I would let anyone touch you again, I promise."

"Mom, it's not your fault. They were sick, twisted people - that wasn't your fault." then I looked to the side of the cabin where a bed stood behind the wall. I looked at Sapphire who was dozing off in my arms.

"But, I think we should take a little nap. It's been a very long day."

She wanted to push the subject more, but chose against it and nodded.

"Of course. We'll let you rest. We'll wake you when we reach land."

I smiled at them before slipping into the bed, it was a lot comfier than what I'd been forced to sleep on for the last couple of days. And I was sure there would be no dead furry surprises.

Once my head was on the pillow, I rested Sapphire next to me. I had just shut my eyes when I felt her crawl on top of me and she rested her head on my chest and slipped back into sleep. I smiled at her and stroked her hair.

I had nearly lost this little girl, forever. She was taken and was going to be used for the exact same thing as I was. My grip round her tightened.

No.

I wouldn't let it happen again.

No bad would ever come to here again. She would no longer know of things bad and evil. She would be raised by her parents and a family of such diversity and goodness that her life would never be anything but good. I would be there for her, even when she didn't want me to be.

I kissed her head and whispered; "I will never let that happen to you again, Sapphire. I will protect you, for the rest of time and even after then. You're too precious for bad things to happen to you" I stroked her hair one more time. "I love you, Sapphire." and I felt myself ease into a restful sleep, finally.

I woke the next day in a panic. The first thing I noticed when my eyes opened was that Sapphire was gone. She wasn't lying on my chest anymore, she wasn't lying next to me and she didn't appear to be in the cabin either.

"Sapphire?" I shot off the bed and my heart was pounding so hard in my chest that it hurt. No one was at the controls. I rushed forward and scanned over them. It was on auto - it had been set a destination and it was going that way. Luckily, the sea was calm so there wasn't little chance of it being pushed off course.

As I looked ahead at the glistening ocean, I calmed down. On the deck, Jacob was sat with Sapphire in his lap, pointing at various things on and off the boat. And when I looked at him I saw that he truly did love her - he didn't just love her for my sake anymore. He could see that she was his daughter and he loved her as much as any father could.

I wanted to go out and join them, but at the same time, I didn't want their blissful moment to be ruined. Instead I stood and watched them a little more before going out the back of the boat and joining everyone else. I was surprised that they'd managed to supply food in their hurry to get here, unless there already was food on here. But the wolves were having a feast for breakfast and Lucas had a little food, but didn't try to force anything down in case his stomach were to disagree with it.

"Morning," grinned Emmett. "Welcome to twenty years in the future."

I rolled my eyes at him. "I was tired, Emmett."

He laughed. "I'm sure you were - hybrids giving you a rough time, huh?"

I knew that he meant that as a sick innuendo, but I ignored it and just took it as he stated it.

"Horrible." I mumbled and sat next to Lucas.

He looked at me and we shared welcoming smiles.

"Sapphire woke long before you, I didn't want her waking you, so I took her away so you could rest."

"Oh," I said, then I smiled gratefully at him. "Thank you, Lucas. I was just a little worried when I woke and she was gone."

"Well, she wouldn't get far here." he grinned. "But she's round the front with Jacob-"

"-I know. I saw them. But I'm going to leave them, they can have some father daughter bonding time." I smiled.

"Fair enough. So, is Jacob-?"

"The animal I'm going to marry?" I grinned. "Yes, he is."

He laughed. "I'm sorry, but when you first said it- it sounded rather odd."

"I know. I just wanted to see how you would react to that. If can't believe you actually thought that I just went out into the forest, picked an animal and decided to marry it."

"Alright, I'm sorry. I think more outside the box next time."

I laughed and looked at him for a moment. "I've spent the past few days with you, Lucas and I know absolutely nothing about you. Other than your name and that you joined a colony of insane hybrid vampires. How old are you?"

"About twenty five."

"How long have you been twenty five for?"

"About... Six hundred years."

My jaw dropped. "_Six hundred years!_" I gasped. "Are you serious? You're older than Carlisle!" he chuckled and after a few moments, I grinned. "You look good for your age."

"That's very kind of you to say."

"So, you're from England, right?"

"Yes. Born in England in 1359. My father had been turned by a vampire just before the turn of a new century, he exiled himself into a barn house in the countryside. In another but close part of England, my mother had been sent away by her parents because of the arrival of The Plague in their village. As she fled the village, it was amazing how she didn't catch it from somewhere else. Nonetheless, she came across my father's barn. He invited her in, with intentions of feeding off of her, but there was still a hint of humanity in him, so he spared her life and gave her a home. They stayed there for many years until they found out The Plague had hit a near village, so for my mother's health, they had to move. The place they found was a lot warmer and safer than the barn. And, well, a few months later my mother was pregnant." then he paused and looked at me.

"Well, _you _know what happens with half human, half vampire babies. After my birth, my mother inevitably died and my father was left with only me. The death of her had shredded all goodness in him and the only way he could make it through the day was to take it out on me. He tried to make me stronger, to make me like him and all the other vampires. But I just couldn't - and _that _was where he lost it with me. Because of what happened to my mother, he decided to call me Lucifer, because he thought I was the son of Satan and had been put in my mother by accident. When I was nineteen, I'd had enough of his abuse so I ran away. I came across some other vampires who were like me, they urged me to join them and I did. I thought it would be wonderful to join people like them and be with my own kind. But their resentment towards pure vampires scared me, especially their determination to destroy them - I couldn't hurt my father. Regardless of how much he'd hurt me, he was still the only family I had. By they wouldn't let me leave once I was there. Years ago, I found out that one of them - Laserek, he had returned to England. There, he killed a vampire and he made one for their own."

My heart sank.

"He killed my father. Then he made some other vampire to act as a spy." he tensed up. "So, when he came home - I killed him."

My eyes grew wide. "Lucas-"

"-he killed my father, Renesmee. Anyway, he was made a genius in his last few days, just because he defeated a vampire on his own and then he made another one. It was the fact that he made another one that made him so great. Oh, hale the great Laserek, he has become the next level of intelligence after the monkeys." he cheered sarcastically. "But now he's burning in Hell and I hope my father is getting his revenge on him whist they're down there."

Would it help him if I told him that Laserek's creation was dead, because of me. I looked at Annabel who looked as if her face had shed all color, if it could.

I sighed and held his hand and gave it a supportive squeeze. "I'm sorry, Lucas. Things will get better, I promise."

He smiled. "I'm sure they will. Things are definitely looking up for me now, thanks to you." I smiled at him in return and Jacob appeared round the corner with Sapphire in his arms.

He looked at me and smiled. "Good morning. I thought you were still asleep. Why didn't you come round the front?"

I stood and walked over to them.

"Because I didn't want to ruin the father daughter moment." I smiled and stroked Sapphire's head. "She really loves you, Jake."

He smiled. "I love her too. Not as much as I love you though."

I smiled widely as I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him and kissed Sapphire's shoulder. She turned her head and grinned at me before kissing me on the nose.

I looked over my shoulder at Carlisle. "How long until we reach Scotland?"

"Roughly an hour - if you look, you can already see it."

I looked past Jacob and Sapphire to the front of the boat. And he was right, on the horizon, land rose from it, finally.

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	20. More Than My Own Life

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**More Than My Own Life**

"ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO COME?" I ASKED LUCAS AS WE STOOD outside Heathrow airport. I was hoping that I would never step foot in that airport again, I was hoping to not step foot in this country again for a long while... But time changes things.  
"It's my home." he smiled weakly. "I feel like I should stay here."  
"You can always come with us, Forks can be your home too." I looked just over my shoulder as everyone was in their own conversations as they waited for Lucas to either come or stay.  
He sighed. "That's very kind of you, Renesmee, truly."  
I shrugged. "You saved my life. It's the least I can do."  
"I know, but you saved my life too. You're giving me too much." he grinned.  
"Ha!" I scoffed. "Make the most of it. I'm normally selfish."  
He shook his head. "You're not selfish, Renesmee. You're beautiful inside and out - never doubt that... Unless I tell you to."  
I laughed and looked around as people entered through the doors.  
"Think about it, won't you?" I said. "As far as I'm concerned there are very, very few hybrids left. I want to make sure they don't get hurt."  
He smiled and was about to hold a hand to my face but dropped it to my arm. "I'm flattered that you're trying to protect me, but... I belong here. If you want to play superheroes, I can think of a hybrid, a little girl who needs your love and protection, she'll need it forever."  
I sighed and nodded. "Just be careful, okay?"  
He nodded. "Of course, and you. Take care of yourself... And your family." he smiled and pulled me into his arms for a hug. "Thank you, Renesmee." he whispered. "I'll forever be grateful for what you've done for me. Know that I'm always here for you - whatever you need."  
I smiled and stepped away. "I know. Thank you. Good luck... I hope you like twenty-first century England just as much as you liked fourteenth century England."  
He chuckled. "I hope so too. Now go on, you'll miss your plane otherwise."  
I stepped away and waved to him as I began walking back to the others. I walked over to Jacob and Sapphire and took her in my arms. I then turned her to face Lucas.  
"Wave to Lucas." I told her and I waved to him, after a few moments, she mimicked me. Lucas waved to us too and we headed through the entrance doors.

Our flight had been cancelled because of some serious storms spreading across the Atlantic, so we had to wait for five hours before there was another flight to Seattle International. I suppose, if your flight was cancelled and you were on your own - it would be as boring as hell, but with Sapphire... She made it painless. A majority of us sat outside a cafe inside the terminal. Jacob and I had taken Sapphire to a few stores to get her things to keep her entertained on the journey such as drawing things and a few small toys, plus a stuffed animal that she fell in love with that was nearly as big as her.  
But it was difficult to say no to that face.  
"She looks just like you." said Jacob as I sat Sapphire on the cafe table and played with her dark curls.  
I smiled at him and looked back at her. "I can still see you in her."  
He grinned, "Well, you should - I contributed."  
I grinned and rested my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry for everything I've put you through in the past month, Jake. It's been really hard on you, I know."  
He kissed my head, "Don't be sorry - you came back to me, that's all that matters. You came back and you also gave me a beautiful daughter - what more could I ask for?"  
I smiled and looked at him and then he brought my lips to his and kissed me softly. Sapphire made a noise and we looked at her, she was pouting.  
Jacob rolled his eyes. "Always have to be the center of attention, don't you Sapphire?"  
I laughed and pulled her onto my lap and whispered to her. "You'll forever have my attention, Sapphire. Don't you worry."  
Then, next to me, I saw Jacob pout and he sniffed. "What about me? Don't I get mommy time too?"  
I looked between him and Sapphire. "So what? You're competing over who gets my attention now?" I rolled my eyes. "Jacob, do you need to sit on my lap too?"  
He grinned. "No." then he pulled both me and Sapphire onto his lap. "The chair is replaceable if it breaks."  
"I'm not that fat. I know I just had a baby, but geez..."  
He smiled and kissed my shoulder before shaking his head. "It's so weird, to think that you had a baby."  
"You were there."  
"I know, but still."  
"How are you taking this?... Being a father, I mean. We've never talked about starting a family... Purely because we're probably not ready for it-" he started to shake hid head and I stopped talking and asked "What?"  
"I don't think we're not ready. We are ready... YOU just keep telling yourself that we're not because most nineteen year olds would say that."  
"Exactly-"  
"-But you're not most nineteen year olds, Renesmee. Physically, you're eighteen. Really, you're nineteen. Mentally, you're like ninety... Like a hip granny." he grinned. "You're ready... You just have nerves and that's completely normal. All you need to do is believe in yourself, don't beat yourself up over things and realise that you are a mother now. Our daughter needs you... And don't worry, I'll be here for both of you."  
I smiled at him and rested my head on his shoulder. I felt a small tug on my neck and I turn my head to see Sapphire pulling a little at my necklace, it was then I noticed it wasn't an ordinary necklace.. It was my locket. The one my mother got me for my first Christmas. And at that, I watched her… And I saw her as me. I suddenly felt like my mother, just for a split second I was Bella and my little Sapphire, was actually my little Renesmee. It was another hit, just like the one from when I first saw Sapphire in the kitchen at home. Another pull; another bond that brought me closer to my little girl.

It was then she looked up at me with her dark eyes, shimmering from the lights of the shops and cafes around us. Then she leaned into me, gripping onto me, like she was afraid I would let her go. It then made me feel sick to the stomach that once upon a time I was actually going to trade this beautiful, delicate creature for my own life. She was everything to me… And I used to think she would mean nothing. How could something as precious and perfect as her not mean anything to anyone?

Even people who passed up would slow down and stare in awe at her. Obviously she wouldn't notice and maybe she never would. She would grow up to be a wondrous young woman and she will stay like that forever. Forever perfect, forever beautiful, forever innocent and forever my Sapphire.

"You okay?" I heard Jacob ask. It took me a while to register but I finally looked at him and nodded with a smile.

"I'm fine." then I looked back at Sapphire, "I just… I just-"

"-you just can't believe she's yours?"

I scoffed "I can't. How could I create something so perfect?"

"Well, I helped." He grinned. I smiled.

"I know. But how could, even something I just participated in... How could it turn out so wonderful?"

Then, Jacob put his arm around me and pulled me closer. "Because you are just as wonderful and just as perfect."

I grinned. "She's gonna drive the boys crazy."

He cleared his throat. "What boys? She's not going anywhere near boys."

I looked at him and smiled, "You're so sweet when you're overprotective."

"Coming from you?" he scoffed. "You hate it when I'm overprotective."

I laughed and looked away from him, talking as I looked around at the people who walked around. "I just don't like it when you go and do something dangerous because you're protective of me-" I was cut off when I saw a familiar blonde hair figure appear, walking towards us through the crowds of people.

"Lucas?" I whispered and stood.

"What?" Jacob sat up in his seat, but before he could question any further, I walks away from the others and walked towards Lucas, with Sapphire still in my arms.

When we finally locked eyes, he smiled and directed himself towards me.

"Hello stranger." He grinned.

"Lucas… What are you doing here? I thought you were saying in England?" I asked.

"I was, but, I got about twenty minutes away from the airport and I realised that this just isn't my home anymore. The mud hut roofs and blacksmiths and barns are gone. England has gone through it's industrial revolution since then… Now there's nothing let of the middle ages… Just the Victorians."

"So... Does that mean your coming with us?" I asked, a little more eager than intended.

He smiled handsomely. "That is, if the offer is still open?"

"Yes, of course!" I smiled happily. "Lucas, you saved my life, it's the very least I can do."

"You gave me my freedom, Renesmee. It is I who owes you. Although I do strongly appreciate your kind offering, I promise I shall only be a burden for a short while, just until I've adjusted to the twenty-first century."

I smiled "You're welcome to stay as long as you want." I took his hand and led him towards the café again.

"You're lucky," I told him. "Our flight was delayed by a few hours."

He chuckled. "That's because I killed the pilot as it would delay your flight. Then I would seize my opportunity to come back to America with you seeing as I made the mistake of rejecting your offer the first time round."

I nodded, "I see." Then I looked at him. "You are joking, right?"

He burst out laughing, "Of course I'm joking, love. Don't be silly. I'm not a cold blooded killer, although I know what you have seen in the past couple of days may have you thinking otherwise."

I shook my head. "I don't think badly of you, Lucas. I think badly of Sage and the rest of them, not you."

He slowly nodded. "How are you holding up by the way? About the loss of your friend?"

I felt my smile slowly fade and he saw it straight away. "Oh no, I'm so sorry. I-I shouldn't have brought it up, I'm sorry, please forgive me, Renesmee-"

"Lucas, chill, it's okay." I assured him. "I haven't been thinking about it, more by choice than coincidence." I sighed. "I grew up thinking he was really the only other one of my kind and we had a special bond because of that."

"I see, do you think you and I have a special bond because we're the same species?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know, Lucas. The bond may have been because I've known him since I was very young, or it may have been because of what we are, who knows. I do feel like I have a connection with you, maybe that's because you held me prisoner for a days." I chuckled to myself.

Back with the others, Lucas joined Jacob, Sapphire and me. As we were in a discussion, I looked around and noticed my parents just joining us, again. I frowned a little and they pulled their chair over to our table.

"Hello Lucas." Edward smiled. "Funny seeing you here, I thought you were staying in England?"

"I was, but England just isn't what it used to be. So, fi you don't mind-"

"Not at all." He smiled.

Lucas frowned. "How did you know what I was about to say?"

My father grinned. "It's my gift, mind reading,"

Lucas raised his eyebrows and his cheeks flushed slightly. "Oh wow. Thank you for warning me."

I laughed and then looked at Bella. "Where have you guys been?"

She smiled. "To get our granddaughter a 'welcome to the family' gift." And at that, she pulled a small box out of a bag she had next to her and handed the box to Sapphire.

She bent her head down to Sapphire's level and whispered. "This is for you, sweetheart."

I looked to Jacob to see if his face held any clues, but he looked just as surprised and utterly clueless as what I did.

Sapphire took her time examining the box and trying to figure out how to open it. Finally, she pulled at the ribbon and it effortlessly fell away and then I lifted the small lid for her and inside was a small locket, just like mine, that also said "More than my own life."

My mouth dropped a little at it and then I looked at Bella who smiled at me. Sapphire lifted the necklace out and managed to open in and inside was a picture of me holding Sapphire in my bedroom on our first night together. She was playing with my curls whilst gradually drifting off to sleep as I held her in my arms, watching out my window, the twilight haze softly glowing on both our faces.

I helped to put her necklace on and she smiled brightly before throwing herself forward to hug Bella.

When she pulled back she looked at her necklace, then look at mine and after a long moment she lifted her locket to join with mine. I pulled her into my arms, moving some hair out of her face and whispered to her, "You mean everything to me, more than my own life." And I kissed her head.

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	21. Perfection

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**Perfection**

On the journey home, Sapphire barely sat in her own seat. Jacob and I had to practically hold her down when the plane took off because she was determined to sit on my lap. She didn't like it and she made a hell of a fuss but one the seatbelt sign turned off, suddenly it was Christmas in Sapphire land. Much further down the aisle, she saw Seth and Embry and she squealed and ran over to them. They were really good with her, and mentally I had assigned them the duty of babysitting Sapphire. She was there for a good couple of hours and me and Jacob were left to our own devices which consisted mainly of us sitting on each other and just talking.

As the journey stretched into night over the Atlantic, Seth came back down to us with Sapphire sleeping on his shoulder. I was already dozing off against Jacob when I got her back and I rested her on my chest, wrapped her up in a blanket and fell asleep with her.

Everything about the plane and the airport seemed to excite Sapphire. She bounced around as we waited for some luggage from the carousel, then she would pick a random suitcase and followed it all the way round until someone took it, then go back to the start again.

"Butterfly mind." As Jacob called her.

But arriving home was what made me turn into a butterfly mind. That thrill I got when passing through into forest boarders was indescribable.

It was the next day after our return that Abi and Eli came to visit. For the first time, I had never felt so much bliss being in the presence of two of my human friends. Just the thought of them brought playfulness and normality to my life. I was just coming down the stairs from putting Sapphire to sleep when they came through the door. The second Abi saw me, her eyes blew up in a frenzy.

"You _died_!" she cried as she ran over and threw her arms around me.

I laughed. "Nice to see you too."

She pulled away, her eyes shimmering. "Sorry, it's that- when Embry told me what happened to you-"

"-You too had thought I was invincible?"

She shrugged, "Kinda. But I also thought I'd lost one of my best friends. Don't _ever_ do that again, okay?" she grabbed my shoulders. "No more babies for you."

"Yes, ma'am." I grinned and pulled her over to the couch, but she pulled back.

"Can I see her?" She asked, lingering by the stairs.

"I just put her to sleep-"I wasn't sure about disturbing Sapphire, she'd had a really rough couple of days. It had taken her at least an hour to not be hysterical when she wasn't in my arms. I'd had to sit next to her crib for another hour before I was sure she was sleep. Emmett suggested drugging her, but I knew he was joking.

"Is there anything I can do?" Jacob asked, crouching down next to her crib with me. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Not really. I think I might just go to bed too. As long as I'm in here, she won't fuss."

"You need rest." He whispered, moving some hair out of my face and then kissing my neck. I smiled.

"Don't you think I've been resting a lot recently?" I laughed. "I'm getting lazy."

"You know what I mean. You've had a long couple of days, you need some time to recuperate."

I smiled and gave him a small kiss. "I'm fine." And as my smile grew, he kissed me again, this time, with more passion. I heard a giggle and looked to see Sapphire watching us with a smile.

"You're supposed to be sleeping." I beamed at her. She didn't do anything, she just carried on smiling.

She had finally fallen asleep, I just hoped that Abi's presence wouldn't wake her up. I looked at Abi and sighed.

"Okay, but be really quiet." I told her and led her upstairs to my room. I slowly opened my door, careful not to make a noise. As we went in and the opening door revealed Sapphire's crib, I saw her awake, standing in her crib, staring out the window.

I frowned. "Sapphire, sweetie – what are you doing awake?" she looked over her shoulder at me and pointed anxiously out the window, making a noise. I narrowed my eyes and we went over.

"What is it?"

She kept pointing out the window. "Dhere!" she cried. "Dhere!"

"Is she saying dear?" Abi asked.

I shrugged. "I-I don't know. It sounds like she's saying there."

"Where's your dad? He'll be able to tell you."

"Him and my mom are at their cottage – I don't really want to disturb them."

She frowned.

"Man dhere!" she started to cry again.

"Man?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Dhere!" She was pointing at the trees, just trees. How was that supposed to help?

I sighed and picked up into my arms. "It's probably just Emmett or Jasper, honey – they went out hunting not long after you fell asleep."

I turned on my lamp and sat her on my lap.

"So this is little Sapphire?" She asked, sitting next to me. "She looks just like you."

I smiled, "She looks more like her daddy."

"Speaking of daddy, where is your friend Nahuel?" my heart dropped at his name. I had managed to avoiding thinking about it, until now.

I sighed. "He's... Gone."

"_What_? And he just left you to raise his child-?"

"-Abi, he's dead." I said, my eyes filling with tears.

"W-what?"

"He was killed by a hybrid."

She stared at me in shock for a long time, "Renesmee, I-I'm so sorry." She put an arm round me. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "I'm fine, it could have been worse. It could have been Carlisle, or my parents or... Or J-Jacob."

"What about Sapphire?"

I sighed. "Or it could have been Sapphire-"

"-No. I meant, she's fatherless now-"

"She's not." I said. "Nahuel, isn't her father."

She looked at me blankly for a while before her eyes grew big and she whispered. "Jacob?"

A smile grew on my face and I nodded.

She gave a little squeal. "You and Jacob had a baby!"

"Shh!" I laughed. "Calm down, Abi!"

She looked at Sapphire who was now staring at her in shock. "I see what you mean – she does look like her father."

Sapphire smiled at Abi before turning her head to look out at the forest again,

"She really _is_ your daughter though – she's creeping me out. Why is she watching out the window all the time?"

I shrugged. "Because, she believes there is someone there I guess."

"And you're not freaked out by that at all?"

I sighed and stood up to go and put Sapphire back in her bed. "Abi, you know as well as I do that bears and deer aren't the only things that live in those trees. Vampires and werewolves love the forest. It's the perfect place to hunt, to feed, to run... To hide."

After a few moments silence, I heard her speak from behind me. "Do you think it's a hybrid?"

"Doubtful."

"The Volturi?"

"Again, very doubtful. What use would they have with Sapphire? They know she isn't an immortal child and, although she has a gift, it wouldn't be within their standards. Not like-"

"-Mind control, or seeing the future?"

"Not like those."

"Are they ever going to come after you again?"

I sighed and went to rejoin her on my bed. "I don't know, maybe. But I don't know if they will want to keep me away from my family or just... Help them."

"Help them?"

"Yeah, in a fight or something."

"But what if-?" my door opened and Embry came in.

"Sorry to interrupt. Abi, babe, we better get going. It's getting late." Sapphire made a noise when she saw Embry and she stood up in her crib.

"Hey!" he grinned. "There's my little Sapphire!" He ran over and lifted her high of her crib, spinning her around with her in fits of giggles.

"Okay, okay – enough spinning." I said, getting closer to them, trying to take Sapphire back. Finally, I caught Embry's eye and he stopped.

"Alright, I get it, over protective mommy." He chuckled and handed my daughter back to me before she nestled in my arms again. As I turned, Jacob joined my side and kissed my head. I smiled at him.

"We'd better go." Grinned Abi, then she looked at Sapphire. "She's so beautiful. Congrats guys, really. She's perfect."

We said our farewells and then there were three.

Sapphire looked away from the now empty door way and looked up at Jacob and me. When she saw him she smiled and reached up for him, naturally, her took her from my arms and pulled her into his.

"This is perfect." I subconsciously whispered. Sapphire got comfortable in his arms as Jacob looked at me.

"What is?"

"_This_... I never imagined it turning out like this." I stroked Sapphire's cheek as she fell away into sleep. Jacob bent his head down to kiss me and I smiled as he pulled me in with his free arm.

"Honestly – perfect doesn't even cut it." He said with a grin. "I thought I was going to lose you, and I did, but you came back to me and not only that, but you brought a beautiful daughter with you."

I smiled peacefully for a moment before lifting my hand to his cheek.

_'I will always come back to you. Whether it's cross the world, through time or even after death. I will always find my way back to you, not matter what. Because I love you, more than words, pictures, letters or numbers can say. And I will, forever._'

I knew at that moment, nothing had ever been or ever would be as close to perfection as that moment in our lives. We had thousands of years together ahead of us, at least. And I would never take a single day for granted. Every kiss I would relish, every tear I would wipe away and every memory I would cherish, forever more.

**Okay, there is still an epilogue to come, but this is essentially the end of Half Moon  
It is also the end of the Renesmee Saga that I've been writing:**

_**Full Moon ~ Last Quarter ~ Half Moon**_

**Thank you for those who have read them all and stuck though! I really appreciate it!**

**I hope you've enjoyed them as much as I have :)**

**Please review and let me know what you think - I'll put the epilogue up soon :)**


	22. Epilogue

**Okay, here's the last chapter guys! :) It's set 20-ish years after Half Moon, essentially :)**

**Epilogue**

WHITE ROSES TWIRLED DELICATELY AROUND EACH CHAIR FRAME, beautifully linking them together. Petals from a variety of flowers created a path between the chairs, separating the bride's from the groom's side of the family. A majority of the guests were already sat down, including the groom who had been forced to sit down my his friends. Though for the bride and groom, it was their second wedding. After nearly thirty years of marriage they had decided to renew their vowels. The best part of this wedding, the bride thought, was that when you stop ageing after a certain point, it means that even in a hundred years time, you could still look as beautiful as a first time bride. Though, that was really more than what the bride could say - being four months pregnant can make it difficult to capture the purify of wearing a white dress.

Upstairs, inside their house, the bride stood in front of the mirror again. Her mother and best friend at her side, again.  
"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" Her mother, Bella asked her daughter that couldn't help but stare at her swollen stomach. She nodded.  
"I'm scared out of my wits." She sighed. "But I can do, and I'm trying to stay calm, for the baby's sake."  
"You'll be fine." She smiled, "and how is my grandbaby?"  
"He's good... Actually, there's something I need to tell you... About the baby."  
Bella frowned, "What is it?"  
"When the baby's born... I'm giving him to Sapphire."  
Her friend, Claire stepped in. "You are? Why?"  
It was a reason she was worried no one else would understand, luckily her husband had understood and found it almost admiral of her. Following the news of her first daughter, Sapphire, having a miscarriage, Renesmee felt incredibly guilty for not being there for her and the fact that he daughter had to go through it alone seeing as her husband had left her shortly before. She also felt that she had gone against her promise that she had made to Sapphire the first time she saw her after she was born. She pledged:  
"I promise that I will love you, care for you and protect you for as long as I live. You are the most precious thing in the world. My little Sapphire."

Since Sapphire grew up and became a lot more independent, Renesmee was struggling to keep that promise. What made it all the more difficult was the number of children Renesmee and her husband, Jacob kept conceiving. She was currently carrying their sixth child. Though, that child was destined to be given to Sapphire. The baby wasn't meant to go to Sapphire as a replacement for her dead child, it was meant to comfort her and to stitch up old wounds.  
Bella sighed, "How is Sapphire dealing with this... How are you dealing with it?"  
"Sapphire... She's coping. She's getting stronger but even though he was an asshole for leaving her - that doesn't mean she never loved him, mom. She loved him a lot."  
"And how are you coping?"  
She shrugged. "Honestly, not great... But Sapphire doesn't know, and nor does Jake and I want it to stay that way."  
Bella walked over to her daughter and pulled her into her arms. At first, Renesmee resisted but finally gave in and returned her mother's love.  
"You truly are a wonderful mother and wife." She whispered to her. "But you shouldn't keep your emotions to yourself. It's not healthy. I'm sure Jake would comfort you if you just told him."  
"Mom, he won't comfort me. He'll tell me not to do it. I'm pretty sure the only reason why he agreed to it was because I sounded so confident-"  
At that moment, Renesmee's daughter, Sapphire walked in.  
"Good morning, momma-" then she noticed her mother and grandmother in a tight embrace. "Is everything okay?"  
"Sapphire..." Renesmee pulled away from Bella. "Good morning" she forced a smile.  
Sapphire frowned. "Is something wrong?... You're not having second thoughts are you?"  
"Considering I'm already married to him, I think it's a bit late to be having second thoughts." She laughed.

After further chatter, Renesmee's father, Edward, came to see his daughter and to advise the others to head downstairs. The three of them left, giving Renesmee their final good luck wishes and soon after her and Edward also departed the room.

The ceremony was beautiful. Though the bride and groom had wanted it to be as wonderful as their first wedding – they still didn't want an over the top wedding. Which also meant the guest list wasn't as large as the first, seeing as they were holding it in their house – it would be their responsibility to clean up. As if cleaning up after four children weren't bad enough. Though, their children weren't exactly trouble makers. Except Alex. Their eldest son, Tyler, was twelve and was fairly independent, along with his younger sister Annabella who was now ten. Though, neither of them looked that age. Their aging wasn't quite as accelerated as their mothers, but as Tyler had inherited the wolf gene from his father, once he phased at only eleven, his grow rate suddenly did accelerated. Ten years after Annabella, the terrible twins were born – Alex and JJ. Though, it would have been harsh to accuse JJ of being badly behaved, it was just his brother Alex, the first born of the two. Alex had inherited some vampire genetics from his mother, Renesmee whilst his brother remained normal. Due to the long period of time they were trapped together in the womb... Something had happened between them that had caused JJ to be born, covered in cuts and scars – some of which may be long lasting. Ever since then Renesmee and Jacob were forced to keep them apart if they were not supervised by anyone else – for JJ's sake. And as if Alex's biting issues weren't bad enough, he also found it very difficult to be around his father, or more specifically, to be held by his father. Renesmee's grandfather, Carlisle had a theory that Alex's dislike towards his father may have had something to do with the vampire genetics he owned, something like the primal nature of a vampire. He believed that Alex's vampire instincts would take over when around wolves and his theory was proven when he was introduced to his father's pack. Though, today of all days they were hoping that Alex would behave himself enough to not cause any drama or accidents. He was only two, yet he still seemed intelligent enough to know what was right and wrong.

As twilight set upon the Black family home, the excitement of the morning had finally died down and vibe was much mellower. In the living room, some danced, some mingled and some just sat and drank. The bride and groom finally managed to be alone together after being bombarded with congratulations and good lucks from their family and guests. They chose this time to dance together in the middle of the room, full of bliss.

"So, how are you enjoying the day, Mrs Black?" Jacob asked his bride with a grin.

She smiled beautifully at him. "Perfect, thank you, Mr Black... How are you enjoying it?"

"I'm... Loving life right now."

"Good." She grinned. "So, going back to what Embry was saying earlier – what _is_ the plan for tonight?"

"You will see... You're gonna love it."

"Oh, _really_?" She smirked. "Okay, well, I look forward to it."

They danced for a moment with their foreheads pressed together before Jacob spoke again.

"So, how are you feeling? Any daily sickness?"

"I'm okay," she smiled. "I felt kinda horrible this morning, but I think it was just nerves."

He frowned. "But, you're better now?"

"Much better."

"As long as you're sure." He smiled and bent his head down to kiss her. Even after over twenty years of marriage, they always found kissing one another as electrifying as their first ever kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck as their kiss grew more passionate. Before things could go too far, Jacob pulled away.

"We should stop before I take you in front of all these people." He grinned.

"If we didn't know any of them, I really wouldn't have cared."

"You and me both."

Across the room, their son Tyler was sitting with his girlfriend and imprint, Sophie. He'd had some difficulty accepting that he had imprinted on her at first, or at least had trouble understanding it, especially seeing as he imprinted only weeks after the transformation. He'd faced a lot of obstacles to get her, but he finally did. Whilst in another part of the room, Sapphire – Renesmee and Jacob's first child – was dancing with a Cullen family friend, Lucas.

When Sapphire had arrived today, she was merely a recently divorced woman with three children to take care of... Now, she wasn't sure what she was and it was because of Lucas. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, not was it a good thing either.

"I mean something to you?" She asked after a long silence.

"Well, of course you do." He insisted with a handsome smile. "I first met you when you were very young, Sapphire and I saw something special in you."

"... And what do you see now?"

He sighed and stood straight, looking at her. "I see a stunning young woman standing before me who has been dragged through bushes but still stands with such pride and beauty that, without her telling you, it's virtually impossible to tell she's ever had a bad finger on her. That's what I see now."

Without even thinking, her words left her mouth on their own. "Kiss me."

Shocked, Lucas stared at her for a moment but it didn't take him long to grant her request as he held her face and brought her lips to his. With the moments that passed, they fell together and joined simultaneously.

After a while, their lips finally separated and they took some time to catch their breath.

"Thank you." She whispered to him, leaning into his broad chest.

"For what?"

She looked up at him into his deep blue eyes. "Because... You've just made me feel truly happy."

It had been six hundred years for Lucas before he had finally managed to make a woman happy and it was one of if not the best moments of his life. After all, Sapphire was a truly beautiful young woman and it baffled him that anyone would ever even consider breaking this girl's heart. But as he stood with her in their blissful moment, he couldn't help but feel like someone was watching them. Though, he didn't care enough to look away from the angel he held in his arms.

Lucas hadn't been wrong. They were being watched, but not by anyone in the room. Outside, in the twilight forest, just beyond the trees a pair of crimson eyes watched them dance and fall in love. As two hearts began to beat together, another one broke to pieces, alone and never to be fixed.

**And there you have it! :) I really hope you all enjoyed it! :D**

**Thank you so, so much for everyone who has read my entire Renesmee Saga :D**

**And special thanks, of course, to Tracy for without who - I would not have continued Half Moon, let alone posted it up again :)**

**So, anyway, thank you all so much! And please review! Let me know what you think :)**

**Thanks again! xx**


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